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mild autism vs very mild autism

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BenderRodriguez
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06 Mar 2020, 6:47 am

magz wrote:
I don't know if it's always the case but it most likely was the case in my family.

You can't live without doing things wrong every now and then. You can't live without causing some accidents and unintentional harm on occasions. It's just randomness of life.
But then... do you put your energy into trying to rescue and repair whatever damage you caused or do you direct your energy into protecting your self-image? Probably no one is free from the latter but if all the energy goes there, it's bad.

Yes, my therapist is wise. That's why I stick to her despite I'm nowhere near her specialization (eating disorders).


That seems to be the case with (most?) emotional abuse cases: protecting self-image or beliefs related to it takes precedence over the well-being of the child. It's remarkable how often that seems to be an automatic reaction, just like the opposite (your father reaction to help your brother) was automatic.


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SharonB
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06 Mar 2020, 1:47 pm

@magz and @BenderRodriguez, good discussion thank you. I oddly I have nothing to say about it and I always have something to say, so I guess it's hitting home and I have to think on it for myself.



BenderRodriguez
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06 Mar 2020, 5:39 pm

^
It took me decades to deconstruct and understand some of these things - how I would have loved the help of someone as magz' therapist :lol:

My own autism combined with the fact that many emotionally abusive people have an abusive background themselves and you might not be aware of the details made a lot of such actions seem not only incomprehensible and illogical to me, but also rather monstrous if you know what I mean.

I have a dear friend who still doesn't share anything significant with her family (like the fact that she divorced and remarried lol) because her father always screams at her and berates her violently when something bad happens to her. Even if it's not the result of a mistake she made like for instance needing surgery or her house getting flooded 8O


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09 Mar 2020, 9:41 am

I totally agree never shared much with family as no one knew that I had autism.They thought I was slow or not trying.