Why do some autistics lack the ability too hide it?

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From my experience a lot of autistic people have very unique ways of walking and generally presenting themselves.

Me too, I've never really learned to mask, and people can tell I'm different

It's not like we have to, but with how unaccepting people can be of those who are different, our lives will be slightly easier if we can do it.

I wish I could remember where I read this. And knew how to add pictures into a post.
I just remember seeing a picture with two overlapping bell curves, one representing the distribution of social skills in neurotypical males and one in neurotypical females. The bell curve for females is shifted a little more to the right, towards the side of good social skills.
Add in the bell curves of autistic/asperger/ND males and females, and the ND males are mostly (but not entirely) off beyond the left side of the distribution for typical males. In other words, most are outside the "normal" ranges such that the lack of social skills would be readily apparent. The ND females are to the right (social) side of the ND males, with more overlap with neurotypical males. More autistic females could therefore "pass" as NT, particularly in male company, though perhaps less likely to pass in the company of NT women.
I'm not sure if that was based on any science, it may have been a thought bubble. Just made a lot of sense to me. It's saying that there will be some ND men who can mask well, and there will be some ND women who mask poorly, but on average men seem a little worse at it.

Where I live, more is expected out of women socially. It’s more acceptable for men to be blunt than for women to be. Women are expected to exercise more tact and avoid hurting other people’s feelings to a greater extent than men are.

I’m not saying that’s how it is everywhere, but it’s something I’ve observed personally.

I've found men in general to be more forgiving of social faux pas.
A few women (not all, only a few) have taken serious offence at a single tactless remark and basically never spoken to me again.

As you said, the levels are at best a rough approximation. The reality isn't linear, but the representation is. It probably could be the Autism spectrums if severity of different traits is to be represented rather than the overall impression. I also agree that there's room for sub-categorization.

One of my female friends said my autism is obvious because “I am well spoken and most people don’t speak like that”

Many people still feel that autistic people don't talk at all.....

I think it's because I feel judged more by strangers than I do with people I know or will get to know. I feel more afraid of strangers. Also strangers judge a book by it's cover (judge you by how you look). I suppose it's because you cannot explain to strangers about your disability or whatever the reason is that you look a little different, while you can explain to your friends/colleagues/family/etc.

Hiding autism is subjective. To some hiding it means acting "normal" and no one would think negative things of you or even guess you are off. To me it just means people wouldn't guess autism in you even if they do think you are weird or strange or are just slow, etc. Kids have always known I was different growing up. Now you wouldn't be able to tell but after knowing me long enough, you might know something is off about me. My husband could tell off the bat when we met but he is also disabled himself so that is probably why. But I don't think most people would be able to tell after one meeting.

She probably means that you speak in a stiff, overly formal way. Don't use slang, and like that.

The analogy you chose to bolster your point actually undermines your point.

The colors on the light spectrum actually in fact ARE what you say they are not- the result of a sliding scale of the same one thing going from a large amount, to a small amount. And that is exactly why the psychiatric community uses the light spectrum as an analogy for the autism spectrum ( also a range of something going from more severe to less severe).

That thing that varies along the color spectrum is....wavelength of light .

Rainbows and prisms spread white light ( normal sunlight consisiting of mixed wavelengths) out into the range of wavelengths. The higher freguency and smallest wavelength being violet color, less tiny wavelengths being in the blue range, midrange wavelength appearing green, green merges into yellow, then orange, and finally the largest waves (smallest freguency) that humans can see are in the red end of the spectrum. And then that merges into the even lower frequencies that we cant see (infrared). And the colors do vary within each color band by the way.

The violet end of the spectrum (highest frequency) could be likened to "level three autism", and the red end to "level one" autism.

I agree with both of you. Autistics obviously range in the degree of their autism. Some folks are "more autistic than others". And vary markedly in how much support they need. But at the same time comparing individuals, even those on the same supposed level, can be peaches to pears (person A may not get meltdowns, but has something else, and another may be free from of that something else, but does get meltdowns) Levels are useful, but to be taken with a grain of salt.

It works exactly that way. Some have stronger autistic characteristics than others, hence the spectrum.

Edit: I see others have addressed it. I generally agree with naturalplastic's take.

It's easier to pass off as allistic if you don't have the stereotypical traits, or at least have traits that don't come across as typically autistic. Many people only know autism as the common stereotypes.

For example, my traits are not stereotypical. At work I can pass off as allistic*, as I don't talk excessively about a special interest (I don't even have a special interest), I can make eye contact, I get jokes and banter (and there's a lot of banter that goes on where I work, you have to get their jokes to fit in), I laugh a lot and express other emotions, I don't look blank or robotic, I don't flap my arms or rock, I am social and enjoy socially interacting with my colleagues, I don't cover my ears at loud noises (I might express verbally that I'm annoyed by a loud noise but it doesn't make my ASD obvious), and I can make conversations. Also I don't snitch or grass colleagues up if they're seen breaking a small rule. I'm not saying autistics are grassers, but an autistic might unintentionally grass a colleague up because autistics are more likely to be moral or follow the rules, and are more likely to be honest too. I'm lucky enough to not have this "too honest" trait. I can instinctively figure out when to keep quiet. I know that nobody likes a grasser.
In other words, I am not "the overly honest geek in the workplace".

*I say allistic because I might pass off as having some other disorder, being so I'm eccentric and hyper and socially awkward.

Well, apparently I am really good at hiding it, but my Mom did tell me when I was younger that you could obviously tell that I do have autism