Why do NTs sometimes react angrily to people with AS?

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Wolfpup
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31 Aug 2007, 10:21 am

I'm am seriously impressed with these last two posts

snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 1:59 pm

mmaestro wrote:

snake321 wrote:

The disabled are perhaps the only minority group out there who it is generally considered "ok" to relegate to stereotypes and be shoved into that mold, or the only people it is considered "ok" to slander, marginalize, dehumanize, ridicule, and poke fun at, even in our media.

Not in any media I've seen probably in the last 15 or 20 years. That stuff used to be acceptable, it's inviting a lawsuit these days and seems to be mostly frowned upon.

snake321 wrote:

the mentally disabled are labled as "potential murderers" and such, and are often stereotyped and made into the object of attemptive witch hunts. Look at Va. Tech.

I've wondered whether Cho had some sort of ASD, but I've never even seen it suggested in the media, and I did a lot of reading about the event at the time it happened. Never saw autism mentioned, not once.

snake321 wrote:

I asked the real estate man (who happened to be there) how much he would rent the house out for, and he obviously picked up that I didn't have good social skills, and he flew right off the bat to accusing me of "tresspassing" or contemplating b&e.

username88 wrote:

I know someone who can help you with that stuff, shes a professional I work with for finding jobs. I could get her to talk to this guy for you if you want.

No dude, I don't wanna buy that guys house, it's under police investigation because he rented it out to my friend and his family and apparently they trashed the place. I've got better places to call.

You don't think that perhaps his reaction to you and assumption you might break in was more to do with the fact that your friends trashed his house than your AS, perhaps?

Look, there are plenty of a**holes out there, I won't deny that, but I think you're seeing systematic discrimination where none exists. Is there discrimination? Sure, those with bad social skills won't do well in social situations, that stands to reason, and there will always be individuals who don't want to spend the time talking to someone they perceive as awkward, and that can be tough. And there are plenty of bullies in schools - kids are vicious. And there are even disfunctional work environments, and I'm sorry that you seem to be in one. But that's not the same as intentionally stacking the system against you, all I can do is suggest that you find another job, if you can, and find a real estate agent who's willing to work with you to handle the social aspect of buying a house. Usually it's best to hire a professional for these sorts of things, anyway. And if, where you live, discrimination really is as widespread as you seem to think it is, move to a different state. Where I lived when I first came to the US, in the liberal northeast, I highly doubt you'd have any of these problems.

Yes, the media does depict people with disabilities as a stereotype, if you seen the democratic primary a few weeks ago they had a sheer minstrel show of disabled people to "voice our concerns". A minstrel show. They had the lowest functioning, cross-eyed, drooling, wheelchair-bound guy they could find and exploited him drooling all over himself while an outside man put cards in his hands to say what they wanted him to say.
Disabled people are and always have been systematically held to a stereotype. Even by "caregivers", these pity services do more to hold their patients back than to help them become independent. We are, systematically, viewed and treated as charity cases, pity parties, rather than regular human beings. We are held under this stigma.
One needs look no further than the sexual rights movement in America that was taken up by liberal government, where gays, women, and any other minority are considered, but due to stigma they refuse to acknowledge the disabled peoples' part of the pie in those civil rights, when other nations such as sweden, norway, and netherlands have. Don't look the other way though just because the research wasn't allowed into the mainstream here in america, because research and information are just as good over there as it is here.
Perhaps if you really had a disability you'd feel the stigma. Or is it that your just taught to deny it so far that you actually buy into the excuses they give?

snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:03 pm

People get further annoyed sometimes when I destroy the stereotype. I'm not virtuous, church going, Christian, straight-edge, dependent, or any of the things a "disabled person" is supposed to be.

samtoo
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31 Aug 2007, 2:10 pm

*Shrugs* Could it have something to do with the fact that some NT's are jerks and many an aspie just doesn't have the social jist of consistently sticking up for themselves in an effective way? It depends a lot on my mood whether I can or cannot stick up for myself. Fortunately the people I know won't question me like that... I'm lucky to have friends and such who will respect me... mind there are some tricky NT's out there from my experience...

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snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:10 pm

Oh I see, when the media reinforces a rampant stereotype, it's not discrimination, because we deserve it for being the minority :roll: After all, we're broken toys, just like the whites thought about the native americans when they gave them blankets riddled with small pox to "help them" out of "pity".
Discrimination against the disabled (or percieved to be disabled) isn't considered discrimination because society holds us to a different standard of what discrimination is.

snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:12 pm

Do you see how people continuously make the same mistakes time and time and time again?

snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:15 pm

It's pointless discussing this though with NTs, from my experience almost all of them fall back on the ego defense of denial.

samtoo
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31 Aug 2007, 2:20 pm

snake321 wrote:

It's pointless discussing this though with NTs, from my experience almost all of them fall back on the ego defense of denial.

Ego... such a strange and vast thing... so many people seem to use it in very different ways. I've got my ego side but it seems to be somewhat different from a lot of people I know.

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snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:26 pm

Basically once you become an adult, they just use more subtle stealth means to bully you.

snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:28 pm

And then again, of coarse, there are those who still actively and aggressively try to bully you among your peers just because your a "disabled" person, trying to live like a "normal" person.

snake321
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31 Aug 2007, 2:31 pm

ChealseaOcean, if you really wanna know what it's like to walk in our shoes, once we get our commune set up, I can put you through a program. The only way to teach you is for you to experience it yourself, we'll flip the tables as you'll be in our world. This is not for vengeance, it is merely to show you what it's like living on the other side of the fence. Segregation is still alive, abeit in a stealthier form.

shopaholic
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31 Aug 2007, 4:42 pm

Wolfpup wrote:

What issues does AS cause with authority and control? (I sound dumb asking this, but I'd like to read more about it if I can.)

I can only speak for myself here, but any problems I may have with authority & control are when people with authority over me tell me to do something that is clearly absurd. And I am expected to comply because "that is the system". Even though I know it sucks, & they know it sucks.

I think I annoy NT's because my willingness to stand up & say "This is crap!" makes them uncomfortable. Like I am pointing out something that it is much easier for them not to think about. (Of course, the fact that they just snigger & look uncomfortable rather than backing me up annoys me too!)

The other thing I do to annoy them is that often I don't bother with all the social niceties that they do. Like I am staying late at work tonight, and I have been noticing that when the NT's all say goodnight to each other, they have to have a trivial & pointless conversation about it. Whereas I, assuming I have even noticed them leaving at all, just grunt "G'night" without even looking up.

And in a previous job I really annoyed my boss because I did not say "Good Morning" to his partially sighted secretary every day & apparently this really upset her. I was not trying to upset her at all, I just prefer not to acknowledge people when I walk into a room because I am usually late & I don't want them to pay any attention to what time I arrive.

So we can annoy NT's by what we DON't do, rather than what we do do.

Wolfpup
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04 Sep 2007, 2:03 pm

shopaholic wrote:

I have a problem with this too. I want to know WHY something is being done, and have to really fight myself to do something that's stupid.

I also view EVERYONE as equals, and think everyone should treat everyone with respect (or I guess what I would deem respect

). I guess I sort of automatically fake it to an extent at work, but I'm not going to pretend too much that I'm "beneath" someone just because they have a better job, or more money-and vice versa.

Is that somehow related to Asperger's, or just a personality thing? It does tie into the social justice thing IMO, which is actually listed as a common symptom for AS...

I'm really bad about greeting people too. Partly because of slipping in late like you said (since I'm bad at judging times-I'm not REAL late, but do skim in just in time quite often). Also partly because I don't care about doing it, and partly because I don't know HOW to do it, or at least didn't. I'm getting fairly good at saying "hi" or something when I go past people I know (though frequently when people say it to me I don't notice that they're even there until after they're almost past

)

starlighter
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04 Sep 2007, 7:26 pm

Yeah,yeah, Why they became angrily with us so often !
It's amazing how many times one get to angry somebody else without doing 'nothing' the most of the time, why? :roll: :roll: ...

juliekitty
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04 Sep 2007, 10:24 pm

Because they're stupid.

Erich
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04 Sep 2007, 10:52 pm

dosh wrote:

I am especially interested in NTs' explanation of why they became angry, especially those NTs using this forum.

Also anyone with AS who has been on the receiving end of NT anger but later got an explanation from the perpetrator.

I think there is another big issue with this type of thought. There's a reason why people with AS think there are lots of NT's that are angry or mad at them.

People with asperger's are rare. So when someone is making fun of them or getting upset, 98% of the time that person is going to be a NT. Just from sheer numbers/percents.

Of course, that NT could very well be mad or upset at the entire world too and everyone that meets them feels the same way as you.

Look at it another way. You meet a heck of a lot of NT's through out the day. The percentage that actually gets mad at you is very very small. Likely the same percent as NT towards NT anger!

If there are a LOT of people getting upset with you, then maybe there is an issue with something you are doing. In general, people don't just get mad at others all the time for no reason. If they do, they are probably treating everyone that way, NT or AS.

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