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DeepThought
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28 Jul 2005, 3:30 pm

Sean wrote:
Maybe there should be a restricted forum for regular-posting members to post extremely sensitive stuff in, and grant access after seeing the nature of someome's posts for a short time, and try to discourage it's use in order to foster a sense of community?
This isn't the first time concerns about who can see what personal information have been expressed and it probably won't be the last. I have some of those fears too, but I just haven't been as vocal about it (for a change) as other people have.


That would just place more demands on WP, which is already understaffed. It could also make some people feel left out. Besides, they already have some members only forums. Additionally, if information is so sensitive that someone doesn't want others to see it, then maybe they shouldn't post it to begin with.


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Last edited by DeepThought on 28 Jul 2005, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

vetivert
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28 Jul 2005, 3:32 pm

this is the internet, folks - anyone can access anything, as anyone can register. for really sensitive stuff, perhaps PM is better, as long as there's someone you know and/or trust, and who is willing to be a counsellor.



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28 Jul 2005, 3:40 pm

Notice how the original poster hasn't replied back to this thread?

I think we scared her away.



Sean
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28 Jul 2005, 3:46 pm

Then it would be best if Alex or another site administrator could appease as many fears as possible about the privacy of the Members Only and Mature forums as well as disclose statistics about the member's diagnoses to show exactly how many NT's are active on this site. The statistics could probably be gathered and analyzed by any member who is good at that.



vetivert
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28 Jul 2005, 3:52 pm

have we actually HAD many instances of those vicious NTs (hahahaha!) rampaging round the site and being horrible?



DeepThought
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28 Jul 2005, 3:52 pm

Absolute_Zero wrote:
Notice how the original poster hasn't replied back to this thread?

I think we scared her away.


Perhaps she isn't so interested in helping us anymore...


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The Rhymin' Red Rover, that's what they call me,
Too old for a sailin', too young fo' the sea;
Set sail fo' a sunset, to a land that is free,
I'm the Rhymin' Red Rover, and that's where I'll be.


DeepThought
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28 Jul 2005, 3:58 pm

vetivert wrote:
have we actually HAD many instances of those vicious NTs (hahahaha!) rampaging round the site and being horrible?


Good question. Has there really been an Anti-Aspie movement directed at WP that warrants any serious defensive posturing, or have a few NTs just wandered in out of curiosity and unintentionally offended some of us?


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The Rhymin' Red Rover, that's what they call me,
Too old for a sailin', too young fo' the sea;
Set sail fo' a sunset, to a land that is free,
I'm the Rhymin' Red Rover, and that's where I'll be.


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28 Jul 2005, 4:03 pm

I would say walked in and unitentionally walked in. And to some degree, they were offended by some of our actions in the response.


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DeepThought
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28 Jul 2005, 4:04 pm

Prometheus wrote:
And to some degree, they were offended by some of our actions in the response.


I have to say that I don't find that hard to doubt.


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The Rhymin' Red Rover, that's what they call me,
Too old for a sailin', too young fo' the sea;
Set sail fo' a sunset, to a land that is free,
I'm the Rhymin' Red Rover, and that's where I'll be.


stlf
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28 Jul 2005, 6:16 pm

I'm a little disappointed in the direction that this thread has gone in. If anyone else has followed PrincessChristina's posts they will know that she origionally came here because her dad thought she might have AS and she wanted to research it some. She subsequently was evaluated by a psychologist who told her that she does not have AS, and instead diagnoses ADD amd dyslexia. I think that she felt comfortable here and that this thread was an effort to remain a part of this community. I belive that her intentions were good, and that she did indeed "want to help aspies" however, misguided some of her ideas for doing so were. If instead of showing the angry bitter sides of ourselves, we had given her guidance on how to "help" we may have been able to take a step towards educating NT's as to who we are...and we may have been able to give her some assistance with things like social skills. Keep in mind also that PrincessChristina is a 13 year old girl it is not fair to expect her to be an expert in AS. I for one find her interest in getting to know us and interest in "helping" to be admirable, and something not often found amoungst the young teen population.

We can not comdemn NT's for their heartlessness and exclusionary practices and then flat out abuse an NT who makes an effort to connect with us. I for one hope that PrincessChristina has not returned to read many of the things that have been posted in this thread, as I am sure we have greatly hurt her if she has. I think we all should feel a little bit ashamed of this. thread..it is certainly not our greatest moment...and does not portray an image of aspies that I am proud of.



ilikedragons
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28 Jul 2005, 6:53 pm

Edited.



PhoenixKitten
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28 Jul 2005, 7:38 pm

Hmmm... I think everyone has a valid point here. I am quite sure that I wouldn't be the first person to have experienced varying levels of discriminations, intentional or otherwise, on the basis of my atypical neurological structure. I think that it is understandable that when one has been a target for the barrage of offensive things that can be said to a person on the Spectrum, one is going to be prone to reacting to such things, however well intentioned they are.
At the same time, I think that however natural this defensiveness is, it will only serve to deepen the misunderstandings between those on the Spectrum and those off it. On the one hand, I should imagine that many Aspies and the like couldn't care less about the rift between themselves and neurotypicals, as bridging the gap often translates to forcing the person with Aspergers to do things that are unnatural to them, or to 'cure' them. This goes down like the proverbial lead balloon. With this in mind, I still think that there is a lot to be said for bridging the gap. Given that we *don't* have a planet of our own, I believe that in order to live happily on this earth, we must learn to co-exist with NT's. I think a lot of AS people would actually like to go a step further and work past any feelings of hurt, so that they can better educate people on how we tick. This probably stems from the misconception that a lot of us 'don't care about other people'. I think that most of us do, in our own way, and as a result we want to find ways of better communicating with the people we care about. Even if we don't give a rats about getting along with NT's, I don't think there is anyone in here that would pass up the opportunity of a world where as a result of NT's being better educated, we no longer have to struggle to function in a world that doesn't understand us.
Several examples come to mind for me. One is Martin Luther King Jnr. Although his people were being severely oppressed, to the point of not being allowed to exist in the same room as white people, he didn't retaliate. If he had, he would have probably been murdered before he could have any influence. Instead, he worked with his people to find ways of calmly stating their case. It worked.
Another example is the Deaf Community. I very interested and involved, as Auslan and Deaf Culture absolutely fascinates me. I have heard that sometimes it is very difficult to gain access into the community if you are not yourself Deaf. However, I have been able to gain acceptance on at least some level, and I am certainly most grateful for the people who have taken the time to talk to me, repeat what they said, slow it down, repeat it again, and gently correct me if I say something that is offensive. (To start out, I was your classical uneducated chickadee who hadn't thought much about deafness, and probably thought that hearing aids make deaf people hearing which is good, because deafness is a disability. Needless to say, these things aren't necessarily true...) Without their patience, I would still be stuck sitting in my room fingerspelling the ABC's!

With all this in mind, I look at Christina and, like stlf, I feel ashamed. Christina, if you are reading this then I truly am sorry for misjudging you. It is true that the way you put some of the things you said can be taken offensively by people with Aspergers. This is because a lot of us don't see ourselves as disabled and we don't want to be 'cured'; we generally want to be either left alone or understood, or, for myself, a combination of both!

Sorry guys, I know that was a long post but I feel it needed to be said. Ah crap, I just remembered the other half of what I wanted to say!

With all the above in consideration, I still think that it is reasonable to want a space that is 'Aspies Only'. Being a minority, I feel it is important that we can form a little cultural group; the Deaf people have the Deaf Community, and it is an amazing place! However, I can see that if we only ever lived 'in seclusion', it would make things difficult. I think that for the most part, WrongPlanet serves as a thriving habitat for Aspies. Being the web, it would be nigh impossible to weed out all NT's, and I doubt that we would really need to. There will always be varying levels of everything: some of us will be 'more Autistic' than others, some of us will be higher functioning (vomits), some will be classic Aspies who hardly ever post, and some will be friends or family who are committed to understanding, and have outposted half the community! Ergo sum, I think we should basically just keep doing what we have been doing!

Yay!! ! Annelise's extraordinarily long post is finished! You can all run along and play! :lol:[/code][/list]


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28 Jul 2005, 8:11 pm

Quote:
We can not comdemn NT's for their heartlessness and exclusionary practices and then flat out abuse an NT who makes an effort to connect with us.


It seems to me that lashing out at others because they are different from us is exactly what we don't want done to us. I flat out refuse to treat others in the abusive way that I have been treated, I see no purpose in it, it's not constructive, it's illogical and it is not in my nature. There are many neurotypicals in my life that I love dearly and they love me. My oldest son and my youngest grandson are two that I can say love me regardless of my neurodifference to them & I love them even though they are different.

Honest to God, all NT's aren't out there somewhere waiting for their chance to pounce on us and rip us to shreds. I have met a few that truly try to understand me or at least respect me enough to allow me to be who I am. I have met a few that mean well but have been fed the wrong information about Autism....with a little "enlightenment," they too can learn that autism is not like they've been led to believe. Teaching younger people to be more tolerant and respectful of others, even when they are different from themselves is very important because many of us still carry memories of the wounds of abuse done to us in our own past.

I know there are "others" that for some strange reason have the need to ridicule us or abuse us but I've got to agree with Sean, they won't stay around WP long because they just plain don't understand us and can't follow our conversations or they become bored with our interests.

I too, am very ashamed of the way this thread has gone and agree, that it is certainly not one of our greatest moments. We're only human though...If we learn from our mistakes then maybe all of this reflection won't be in vain.


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28 Jul 2005, 8:29 pm

Amazing, amazing post PhoenixKitten....You stated that so perfectly! I agree absolutely, totally and completely with everything you said



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28 Jul 2005, 8:33 pm

*beams modestly* Glad I didn't offend everyone!


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28 Jul 2005, 9:34 pm

I'm sorry?