Apollyon wrote:
I see no sense in "curing" people who simply operate on a different wavelength. Especially when that "cure" is coming from people who THINK they know what's best for me, but don't understand me at all. That's the same as asking a plumber to fix your computer.
What's more, everybody must learn on their own what makes them special. Life is about discovering your strengths, talents, and niche in the world. Nobody can do that for you, and if you live your life trying to fit in and please others, you may as well have no identity or purpose. You are NOT your friends, your associates, or your peers. They don't make you who you are. Your experiences, triumphs, failures, quirks, virtues, and vices make you who you are.
I've done my share of trying to fit in, and I would be a liar if I said that I never suffered moments of doubt or despair. I won't be the last person to admit that there were times I felt isolated, and that feeling different got under my skin. But eventually I realized that there are more important things in life. I don't want to be "normal". I don't want to wake up one day, and realize that I spent so much time "fitting in" that I don't know who I am or why I was put on this Earth. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing preventing me from success is technique. As in- what are my strengths? How can I use these to my advantage? Where do I apply these advantages? I'm now putting more focus into finding the answers to these questions, and discovering where I stand and where I am headed based on those answers, and you know what? I'm happy.
Why do you care about other people's ambitions? What about YOUR ambitions? What do YOU want to do? Other people's lives having nothing to do with your own happiness and well-being- you need to really look within YOURSELF and decide for yourself what you want out of life. You might even find that you don't want what everyone else wants. That's okay. Or, if you feel otherwise- that's okay too. Whatever YOU want is okay.
Furthermore- don't fixate on how other people's lives have turned out. It's self-destructive thinking, and it will only distract you from realizing your own dreams. You still have plenty of time to catch up, but if you constantly obsess over your imagined weaknesses and getting kudos from other people- you'll always be left behind. That's not living, It's hiding.
People tick me off too. So when they do, I indulge myself in things I enjoy- watching a movie, reading a book, researching subjects that interest me, drawing... whatever. Honestly, hardships and adversities in life build character, self-understanding, enlightenment, and make a person truly appreciate the things in life that REALLY matter. Social hour with vapid dimwits does not.
And who says you can't have friends? Go to places where there are people who share your interests. Look online. Or, just simply learn to love yourself.
Lastly, about doing poorly in classes... This is something you need to bring up with your instructors, guidance counselors, or whatever. Or find study guides/tutors. Again, go online. I did pretty lousy academically too (with exception to science, I failed every class), and wasted a couple years in college pursuing a future I THOUGHT I should be pursuing- and then I realized, when I'm actually interested in something, I am totally dedicated to it. Maybe you're just on the wrong path, and that's why you're struggling. Maybe you should make your own path.
Everybody has something that they're exceptionally good at. For most people, It's socializing. I don't know about other people, but I'd rather be the loner science geek than waste my time climbing the social hierarchy. The latter of the two doesn't pay off in the end.
Aspergers: A minor obstacle that eventually pays off.
I hate to quote such a big post, but wow, this post blew me right out of the water. You, my friend, are an aspie who knows how to create his own reality and how to deal with this crazy experience called life. Life is hard for everyone - NTs, aspies, freaks, jocks, pimps... everyone. Your attitude is exactly the one that I strive to hold. Most of the time, I would never trade my quirky sense of humor, incredible skills of analysis, musical, mathematical, and language talents... but other times, I wouldn't wish my overactive, overanalytical mind on my worse enemy. Sometimes I relapse and victimize myself, but as the years have gone on, I have learned to deal with my crazy mind and to get what I want out of life. And dang, it sure feels good.
17 Nov 2007, 4:29 am
