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Meeting other aspies and feeling like a fraud

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feelgoodlost
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27 Nov 2007, 10:01 am

I recently met my "first Aspie" (that I know of)...he's pure Aspie, and I used to feel like a fraud, or "not autistic enough" when I watched movies like Mozart and the Whale or read Temple Grandin or any of those other A.S. authors as well, all because I can "read" people, don't have special counting abilities or one specific interest I constantly focus on, and can control myself (I don't go into screaming meltdowns if I don't like a certain texture/whatever)

But as time goes on, I see 100% of what my life is like, and I have no doubt that I'm just as Aspie as the next Aspergian, just in a different way. I've even come to be a little proud that I'm not textbook Aspie, that I'm unique within a unique group of people.

I wouldn't stress about it too much, otherwise it starts feeling like a pissing contest, which I admit can occur pretty frequently here on WP, with everyone trying to "out Aspie" each other, or tell others that they don't even have it (even if they've been diagnosed). You know yourself better than anyone else, so don't let anyone diminish your problems because you don't "suffer" in the same way they do.



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27 Nov 2007, 5:37 pm

Ticker wrote:
I've noticed Aspie conversation more often than not is about what the Aspie *thinks* and NT conversation is more about what the NT did. NT's are more action oriented hence my fascination at listening to their stories of what they did after work, etc. Do you notice the same Maestro when you are with others?

I've not really had enough conversations with aspies to draw any sort of conclusions. The conversation I generally have with NTs is usually pretty involved, not a huge amount to do with things they've done unless personal experience is related to a wider point, or we're "catching up" after not having seen each other for a while. But I couldn't tell you how representative my friends are of the general population.


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KingdomOfRats
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27 Nov 2007, 6:10 pm

feelgoodlost wrote:
I recently met my "first Aspie" (that I know of)...he's pure Aspie, and I used to feel like a fraud, or "not autistic enough" when I watched movies like Mozart and the Whale or read Temple Grandin or any of those other A.S. authors as well, all because I can "read" people, don't have special counting abilities or one specific interest I constantly focus on, and can control myself (I don't go into screaming meltdowns if I don't like a certain texture/whatever)

But as time goes on, I see 100% of what my life is like, and I have no doubt that I'm just as Aspie as the next Aspergian, just in a different way. I've even come to be a little proud that I'm not textbook Aspie, that I'm unique within a unique group of people.

I wouldn't stress about it too much, otherwise it starts feeling like a pissing contest, which I admit can occur pretty frequently here on WP, with everyone trying to "out Aspie" each other, or tell others that they don't even have it (even if they've been diagnosed). You know yourself better than anyone else, so don't let anyone diminish your problems because you don't "suffer" in the same way they do.

Temple isn't really one for comparing to an AS example really[she's on the kanners'/classic autism side] and she does have stronger traits,just controls them better with medication.


it shouldn't matter if someone is more aspie or autie,there is always going to be someone more aspie and autie than another, it's about having different experiences of aspergers and autism,one doesn't make another experience any less valid,it just means the other person has a different experience.


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28 Nov 2007, 12:07 pm

I have met many people throughout my life who I now believe to be aspies.

As a teen, there was "conker boy" - a young boy who rode on the bus every evening with his middle-aged mother and always tried to sit next to me - he would talk at me on & on & on, often about his collection of conkers. Although I would much rather have been left alone, I could relate to him & talk to him, which was probably why he liked me!

At school there was a loner girl who tried to make friends with me. Again, I got on OK with her but didn't encourage her.

At university there was "anorak man" who was probably classic autistic as I never knew him speak to or interact with anyone at all - he would always walk around campus with his hood up & twirl his anorak cords.

At our alumni group there was a guy with probably very severe AS who had wild staring eyes & would insist on singing his self-penned songs at everyone - and he always had to go all the way to the end. But he was very intelligent and always had good ideas.

In my open-plan office (100 people) there is at least one stereotypical aspie & maybe as many as 4 more who have some of the traits, besides me of course.

And there is my male friend who has to be on the spectrum somewhere, and at least one of his other friends.....

I think I am actually an aspie-magnet, as I do seem to relate pretty well to other aspies (as opposed to NT's who find me distant, emotional, anal and irritable).