Extra, extra! Greentea going for diagnosis! (of all people!)

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I don't know why everyone tells me that if nobody likes you it's because you're aggressive. I know of many murderers and wife beaters who have lots of friends, and I never quarrel with anyone, much less attack them... But there's no way I can prove to him that I wasn't aggressive, say, at my last job and got fired with a stupid excuse.

He kept insisting I go back to therapy, and when I'd ask him "therapy for what?" each time, he'd say he didn't know. Also, when I'd tell him each time that I've been in therapies for 3 decades and it actually made things worse, so why try therapy again, he'd have nothing to say to that.

Is it possible to see another specialist? I can't tell if the one you saw would diagnos you or not. Not sure if therapy is all that great for ASDs either.

millie, he's one of the only 3-4 AS adult diagnosers there are in this country.

I have a feeling that he's the type who needs to see someone LOOK weird in order to diagnose them as autistic.

I guess there's only one AS specialist who is experienced, reliable and willing to diagnose adults here. I might give her a try if I don't find a job in about a year. Now it'd be useless, because I've to prove that I'm unemployable / long-unemployed apart from showing that I have AS in order to get benefits.

I don't know. I'm confused.

And I feel like a fraud being on WP when everyone says all I have is a chip on the shoulder and too much aggressivity to be a good friend to anyone.

Greentea, I don't see you as that way. Did you know it's common with Asperger's Syndrome? Some of us do feel aggressive and angry from time to time. I will be one of the few who will admit it isn't always a cake walk having this. You have to do protectionist things to distress or it can be quite difficult and overwhelming. It's certainly not unheard of. I wouldn't listen to anyone telling you that you don't have AS because you feel angry from time to time or are aggressive now and again. I think that you have it. You just have to find someone who can diagnos you.

I can't tell either. I'd have to continue investing money to see if I can convince him, or start investing money in another specialist to see if I have better luck. There's only 1 other specialist that's supposed to be better than him.

He recommended psychotherapy precisely because he doesn't believe it's an ASD. There's no psychotherapy for ASD.

I wanted to prove my mother wrong that nobody likes me because I'm offensive and aggressive. All I did was spend a small fortune to have a professional side with my mother. I'm too aggressive to befriend.

I'm a failure at everything I try to do, biggest and nastiest idiot in the world.

And everyone be careful with me now, because turns out I'm not only nasty but also an NT on top of it, which means I'll take offense if you don't look me in the eye, and I'll call you "blunt" and "obsessive" and will bully you because you're all Aspies!

Maybe you are aggressive sometimes, other times not. I get like that when I'm stressed out. I don't like crowds and going places and this is what causes me problems so I remove myself from those situations and experience inner peace.

Maybe people think you can control it on your own if you'd do this or that, but with an ASD, what they don't understand, is you have to remove yourself from whatever is causing this reaction. Nothing else seems to be effective in my experience. So if you are working everyday, eight hours or more, it can cause you to be this way because you are in a constant state of overload. Our nervous systems are extremely delicate in this way.

I ended up using a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist, their egos are still very big, but not as big as psychiatrist's. There was only 4 specialists psychiatrists who dx AS in Sydney (used to live there) at that time, but there were more psychologists.

Greentea, that psychiatrist sounds like a dick. I would think you were on the spectrum - your problems with social interaction and prospagnosia are enough of an indication.

millie, I didn't get a PM from you...

Jetlag, more than an appointment, it was a disappointment, hehe

You know they b***h about clients in their professional networks, I wonder if you've been discussed behind closed doors (since you've been in therapy for some years) and you've been pigeonholed as the 'worried well'.

It would be unusual if this process weren't fraught with long drawn out problems and disappointments. Expect more!

I'm astonished that an AS diagnosis consists in sitting with a so-called expert in AS and trying to convince him that one has AS. It makes me think that in order to be diagnosed with AS, what you have to be, rather than AS is a very cunning, charismatic NT.

Sorry it didn't go well, Greentea. One would think that having autistics in your family would be a good reason for him to seriously consider you're on the spectrum - normally family clinical history is one the first things good doctors ask about. One would also think that if psychotherapy has been a failure for so long, there may well be neurological issues.

In your situation, seeking a diagnosis sounds like a sensible idea.

I don't think you're aggressive, but you can come across as aggressive - I think it's a social skills deficit rather than real aggressiveness. And you're right, if aggressiveness alone put people off, there wouldn't be wife-beaters and murderers with friends.

Greentea, what i do know is I have loads of aggression and anger and that comes out here on WP and it is worse in real life. I am blunt to the point of being mercenary, I am told. And I don't even realise it, although I have learned a bit about it the past few years. I am likely to tell someone they are an abject fool because i see this as the fact (and usually it is...) and I see this bluntness in you - a justifiable kind of rage because the world makes no sense and is very hard to contend with.

good luck and you are not a failure and a fraud. perchance a novel in the making, with the protagonist a blind and foolish psychiatrist who is deemed a specialist in his own country but allows his own arrogance and puffy academic nepotism to get in the way of diagnosing clients effectively and correctly? (still hinting...writer...writer...writer....)

pbcoll, yes, exactly. What ultimately makes me most distrustful of him is that he didn't make sense. He admitted not to have a logical reason to prescribe more therapy, he admitted not to have an answer to why therapy hasn't worked in 30 years, he admitted he's not sure if I have AS, he admitted he discarded AS too soon without knowing key issues we didn't have time to discuss - such as family, childhood, etc.

millie, no writer here, as he told me that Social Security wouldn't give me financial help anyway even if I had AS, because I'm able to find some job now and then, even if I'm soon fired from all of them and go through hell in each of them trying to hang on. So much for following my bliss..