You Might be an Aspie if...

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Which is why I used to watch it with the sound turned off.

If you don't notice if someone gains twenty pounds, but cannot racognize them if they cut their hair half an inch.

If you think that inside jokes work with only one person in on the joke.

If you've had someone say "I'm up here"... and you were talking to a guy.

If, at least once a month, someone new tells you you should "smile more, because you look so pretty when you smile."

If you have sustained a diet where 80% or more of your calories for the day came from repitition of the same particular type of food for over two weeks.

If, when you see a clock which is out of sync with your watch (which you KNOW is correct) you have to restrain yourself from asking if you can take the clock down and fix it (if it is socially unaccpetable to ask).

If you ask anyway.

If something you found funny when you were four years old can still make you laugh fifteen years later.

If you can remember the details of so many books that people can describe a book at random to you and you can tell them what the title is.

If you have ever been mistaken for an employee at a book store due to this talent, or, due to the fact that you were straightening the shelves in the bookstore.

If you have ever sat though a three-hour movie and had absolutely no idea what the main character's name was at the end of the film.

If you have ever watched more than three seasons of a television show and not known the main characters' names.

If you have ever known someone for more than a week and not ascertained their name.

If you have ever known someone for a month and still not known their name.

If you have absolutely no idea what the full names of over half of your friends are- but you know their messenger screen names by heart.

If you think of yourself by your online screenname or names more often than you think of yourself by your "real" name.

If you have ever looked in the mirror and thought, "Who the hell is THAT?"

If your mental image of someone you have seen repeatedly in real life is their avatar on a forum or messenger.

If your mental image of YOURSELF is your avatar on a forum or messenger.

If you have an extensive vocabulary but cannot pronounce a sizeable amount of it because you have only ever encountered the words while reading.

If you have ever known that "two" words have the same meaning, but thought they were spelled and pronounced differently, only to find that they are actually the same word. ((I cite the word rapport as one of many times this has happened to me))

If you have ever used chat abbreviations in actual speech, for example, saying "Lol," when someone says something funny.

If you have ever used emoticons verbally, for example, saying "semicolon underscore semicolon" when someone says something depressing.

You can eat a punnet of ripe psychedelic mushrooms and still feel completely normal

You give totally inappropriate answers to normal questions

It is obvious to you that everyone else thinks in a media-driven loop

Within ten seconds of meeting a person you consider them delusional

You suspect that inprisonment or solitary confinement would be a pleasurable thing

I you go to the other side of the bookstore a lot because people are at the same shelf.

You spend more time worrying about the future than the present

Oh, this is so me, especially the inside joke bit! I can't tell you how many times I do that.



And if someone who works at the bookstore asks you for help finding a book...



Oh, yes. Or if you see someone from work at the grocery store, you don't recognize them, which leads to an "Awkward Moment."



And the same words you define by the context in the writing, and while you know how to use them intrinsically, when it comes to explaining to someone else what they mean, you finally resort to pointing them in the direction of a dictionary because it's too frustrating to define it yourself.

Thanx: Dr Planet, 4 the diagnosis!

You know you're an Aspie if...

...you no longer use the dictionary to look up words, you simply look for the root word to define the word and read the dictionary for entertainment.

...your peers have suspected you of reading the dictionary.

...you use the word "peers" to describe your classmates.

...you know more about the English language than your English teacher (I told her you shouldn't end a sentence with a prepositon and she said that it was okay)

...Latin is your absolute favourite class.

...you're considering taking Latin over the summer.

...you become obsessed with a book/series of books and convince yourself that you are the main character (let's see...Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, Encyclopedia Brown, Schroeder from Peanuts, Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye, and many many others)

...you're just dying to put a comma between those two "manys" a line up. I know I am, but I'm not going to for the sake of this response.

...you've Googled so many things you can't even remember all of them.

...you become extremely frustrated when people speak in a different language around you because you know you won't be able to learn that language until you get to college.

...if you can't go into a store because the flourescent light upsets you.

...if you have a passionate hatred of something totally stupid (for example, I utterly despise Charles Dickens, cheese, and practically anything French.)

...if you laugh every time someone talks about how teenagers frequently test the speed limit (the only time I drove I didn't even put my foot on the accelerator)

...if you are wearing lots of clothing and the people around you are wearing shorts and flip-flops.

...if you really hate flip-flops but just love the word.

...if you frequently spell things backwards and are amused

...if you look forward to going to school. (only sometimes)

...if your teachers and classmates frequently make fun of your handwriting.

...if you have to write in complete sentences with perfect grammar on IM or in someone's yearbook.

...if it takes you more than five minutes to think of what to write in someone's yearbook.

...if you were frequently scared of movies when you were little (like Mary Poppins) and hid from these movies in your closet.

...if you're seventeen and still sit in your closet.

...if you were genuinely worried that you would be blown away by the wind if you held an umbrella and still do not use umbrellas to this day.

...if you cough every time you see a person you know just so you won't have to say hello to that person.

...if you listen to the same song over and over simply because you had tuned it out.

...if you've had to define words you've used in caual conversation.

...if you gave the exact dictionary definitions for these words

...if you're a junior in high school and people are STILL looking off of your homework.

...if you really see no other point to a fire drill other than getting away from the horrible fire alarm. (The lights flash, too, at my school.)

...if you're so terrible at DDR because you like to stare at the arrows.

...if you're actually worried about being good at DDR.

...if you've ever had a backward conversation/conversation in another language/conversation in computer jargon with another Aspie. (guilty...)

YMBAAI,

If you have been reading wrong planet forums for about a year and THIS is yr first post...

You mean 'normal' people don't consider Latin their favorite class ever? Boy, have I been missing out. (Seriously- lingua latina est optima lingua. ea est melior quam omnes linguae.)


Or if you really hate all non-flip-flop shoes but think the word sounds funny.


...or if you only look forward to it for the learning, but not the people.


...or if they take points off your in-class essay for illegible handwriting.


Or if after you sign the yearbooks of your understanding, oddball friends you hide from the yearbook people because you don't want to sign a stranger's yearbook and you don't know most of the people who want signatures and you think it's too personal. So when they find you you just scribble HAGS and run for it.


Mine has this awesome bit in it that's like a foot deep into the closet and two feet wide--just perfect for curling up in. [/OT]


Or if you once tried to find out if it was true and broke four umbrellas testing it on a windy day, and were annoyed that it wasn't true at all.


And then your classmates still couldn't understand what you were talking about so you gave up in frustration.


And you've devised a way to fold up your ear on top of itself so that you look kind of like Dobby from Harry Potter but at least there's significantly less sound coming through.

...if you once commenced a campaign of hiding from a person solely because they go up to people and hug them and you were terrified that that would happen to you.

...if you try to always be just a little late to math class because they keep wanting to stage group hugs and they want you in the middle and you're terrified of letting this happen.

...if you spend more than half your lunch period in the library every day if you can, just to stay out of the cafeteria with its smells.

...if you can't bear to eat at one of the tables in the school cafeteria because they're too sticky and bad-smelling and close to people you don't know so you eat on the floor by the vending machines.

...if lunch is the same food every day exactly, and it's all one food.

...if you worry constantly that if you ever do manage to train your dog to be a proper therapy dog, you won't be able to actually do anything with him because you'll be too freaked out by the hospital or nursing homes.

...if you constantly try to translate what you're saying into Latin in your head. (...in tuum capitem...)

...if you spend more than half your lunch period in the library every day if you can, just to stay out of the cafeteria with its smells.


I stay in there the whole period.

They won't let me eat in there.

Everyone's mind in my house races quicker then mine.

We have three mathamatical prodigys in this house and one who is very good at maths.

And all four would be working out that power sum.

You're an Aspie if you talk about the advantages of a Kleeneze to a Betterware salesperson.
You're an Aspie if you psychoanalize everyone's feelings and what they say.
You're an Aspie if you know more about computers then the designers.
You're an Aspie if you find very weird films entertaining, and are obsessed by them.
You're an Aspie if you're obsessed about something to the point everyone else tells you to shut up.
You're an Aspie if you have to be reminded to change your clothes.
You're an Aspie if you plan to do something today, but in reality wont get done until next week (if you can find time for it...), or it gets sneaked into your daily life (like that bin - the one you pass everyday, waiting to be emptied.)
You're an Aspie when you set yourself a target bedtime, but never make it to bed on time, because more urgent things come up (like talking).
You're an Aspie when your NT family members want to pull their hair out with frustration, and you have no idea why.

Last edited by redvelvet on 01 Mar 2006, 8:51 am, edited 2 times in total.

...if reading Redvelvet's post made your twitch because s/he used the wrong word, using 'your' when s/he apparantly meant 'you're.'

...if you feel the compulsion to capitalize all proper names even when the owner of the name does not capitalize.

My Aspie son loves cheese, has it with about everything. any cheese. the stronger the better.

You're an Aspie if you're a girl and you have a really short haircut that is usually only associated with Lesbians, and you talk about who at college is going to chat you up first - the boys or the girls.

You're an Aspie if your AS boyfriend was being flirted with and you happened to notice it (and he happened to notice it), and you would then later talk with your boyfriend about the girl's flirting techniques and analyze the whole experience, and laugh about it.

You're an Aspie if (when you were a child) you read every dog-related book in the library, and ordered every book not in stock about dog training and the various breeds, and every factual book about dogs.

You're an Aspie if you would rather have a good pair of walking boots than a *nice* pair of shoes.

You're an Aspie if you're female and you sit on the floor and cry when being taken shopping to get a new pair of *nice shoes*, due to not feeling well and hating shoe shopping above all other shopping.

You're an Aspie if you have two or more people talking to you and you get flustered and tell one of them to be quiet for a while.

You're an Aspie if you know more maths than your maths teacher.

You're an Aspie if you point out the correct use of the English language to your college English Language teacher during the lesson.

Last edited by redvelvet on 01 Mar 2006, 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.