What crap did your parents try and feed you growing up.

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Yeah.

And his PASTAAAAAAAA (does he eat is plain all the time roffle)

Sqeeeeeee

I had an argument with my parents last week when I was going to attend a meeting about the new library our community is building.

"I don't know why you waste your time going to these meetings. It doesn't do a bit of good and they have made their mind up what they are going to do anyways."

fortunately i had very understanding parents, they never forced me to do or eat anything i didn't want. i never liked meat (no, i'm not a vegetarian, i just simply can't eat meat in its natural form (eg a slice or something), i can eat SOME types of meat if it's well processed (eg meatballs). but i never eat meat if i'm not at home, because usually they can't make it so that i would like it. and then i'll throw up.

so, i remember only one thing they always told me to eat: carrots.

we have a saying, that you'll be able to whistle nice if you eat a lot of carrots.

so i ate a lot of carrots.

but i still can not whistle.

I thought it was about food too and was about to say "spinach" but luckily other people have replied before us !

That if I talked about what the other person was intrested in, they would talk about what I was intrested in.

"Never talk to strangers."


"A stranger is a person that you don't know."

Okay, so there a millions of people that I don't know who could all be potential boogiemen.
I might as well not talk at all then.

I have had people call me "paranoid" and "not very street smart".

Why?

Because I don't know how to talk to or deal with strangers, I was never allowed to practice!

actually, the last one I HALF agree with; I agree with the former part, but not the latter part.

If there's one thing I learned from us being on the "dating market", we creep most people out enough as it is--I often refer to our level of "creepiness" as similar to that of Gordon Jump as the child molester on Diff'rent Strokes--, so when we're "on the prowl" in the dating world it freaks most folks out even more, and they're just happy to be rid of us once we leave.

I didn't find my gal by "playing the field"; I found her by doing what I always do, and she went after me!

ignoring bullies, btw, doesn't help because while you're being told to ignore them, unfortunately the same people who told you that are also encouraging the bullies to do what they do.


And now for some of my favorites:

they really pushed for me to get good grades, which by the end of high school I managed to do; I made it to the honor roll in the very last semester. Oh, and btw...my parents got Cs and Ds in high school, and that was it.

"you won't get anywhere in this world without a good college education" -right, yeah....that's why I currently own my own business and it's been running for over 2 straight years now, correct? Y'know...after I dropped out of college after one semester?

"they're just jealous of you" -yeah, um...maybe now sort of. Definitely not back then.

"I wouldn't say we're poor; in what context? We're not as rich as Bill Gates or anything, but..." -no, we were pretty much financially strapped, and there was no way around it. This is why I'm pushing so hard to be very financially successful.

"you'll understand when you're older" -this was often regarding hypocritical stances, and a lot of *common knowledge* stuff to which I now always just say "I'm older, and I still don't understand; all I understand is that you're a hypocrite, and you otherwise don't know jack"

"try engaging in the activities the others are engaging in, and they'll include you" -no, they just pushed me away. Even my teachers pulled this, and after a while, it just sounded like conformist dribble; I soon learned that's exactly what it was...and I'm glad I fought it.

those are just some of the ones I remember offhand. My Mom also used to want me to go outside and play; my question: and do what?

However, it was harder for my parents to try to convince me to conform and "fit in"....as they themselves weren't exactly in the crowd either. My Dad's a hermit-like shut in, and my Mom I believe was Autistic as well.

"Study hard and you'll be fine."

"Be successful and you'll be happy."

let's see... no matter what particular yucky food item it was, if i hesitated in swallowing it, they would say "EAT IT OR WE'LL POUND IT UP YOUR ASS!"

in terms of non-food items, it would be comments such as "you're WEIRD!" or "WEAKLING!" or "It's no wonder that kids want nothing to do with you!" or "it's easy to see why kids like to mess with you!" but what both the food and non-food yuckies had in common was that there was no arguing with either of 'em, on pain of more of the same.

oh yes, for the non food stuff: not exactly my parents, but like my teachers and such: "everybody is equal"

lol I can't believe the sh*t some peoples parents think will work. So patronising. Im so glad my parents never tried to patronise me.

Everyone is equal? LOL. I got told "You are different and have to do your best to cope with what the world throws at you and make the most of it"
The closest I would get to "Everyone is Equal" would be "Everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others"

This was before my diagnosis btw.

I was lucky to have parents that were a source of real wisdom, as opposed to some of the crap you people had to put up with :/

"Never date a short guy, they all have compensation issues." My first two boyfriends were on the short side. They were weird but I don't think they had an compensation issue.

Sometimes, wanting isn't enough.
You have to:
A) Be Good Enough

B) Have other people let you be good enough


Lots of people can do lots of different things in the right environment and the right support.

Some people probably do more than most give them credit for.

But this doesn't mean that one person could be absolutely anything s/he wants to be.

People are human, even the exceptional ones, and have limits.

Also, dreams can be shattered by accidents, illness, social circumstance etc.
So a person might not be able to reach a dreamed goal.
The person might be shocked that s/he was blocked from doing what s/he wanted to do.

Would this person be a failure if s/he gave up her childhood dream for a more realistic goal?

What if this person could find an unconventional way to approach the field that s/he was interested in?

Would it be wrong for someone to reappraise the situation and work around his/her problems?

Would it be a tragedy if the person was very successful at a job that s/he never wanted to do?

I have to partially disagree with something here:

"B) Have other people let you be good enough"

Gee...I would've guessed from this huge thread you'd know humans aren't like that as it is...that includes towards other fellow humans( and I don't mean Autistic folk).

No one's gonna let you be good enough; either you are, or you aren't.

and as Dean Stefan once said on a certain franchise-specific podcast, ya gotta go in being even BETTER than everyone else, not just "good enough".