aspie women and boyfriends

Post Reply New Topic

I can only talk about me and my situation. For me it was a combination of my husband and I sharing a same interest and him being persisitant about wanting to date and get to know me.

I think many aspie men and women say they want friendships and relationships but I think they want them on their terms and a solid, strong relationship or friendship does not work that way. A strong relationship takes a lot of give and take and it is, at times, hard emotional work.

There are many aspies on here who have read a lot of books on relationships and have made a lot of personally changes because they felt the effort was worth the reward. For them, having a relationship/friendships was important enough to them to put in the effort. I, myself have had to make changes with myself and my husband has had to make changes and adapted to things about me. It is worth it to the both of us so we do it.

For me, having a strong relationship with my husband is good enough for me. I do not feel less of a person for not having lots of friends. Friendships are a lot of work and they do take up a lot of your free time. I understand and accept that. I guess I am selfish with my free time and want to use some of it on things I want to do and some of it with things my husband and I like to do together.

I hope this is helpful to you.

where in the heck did you get that from?

[quote="NoGyroApproach
For me, having a strong relationship with my husband is good enough for me. I do not feel less of a person for not having lots of friends. Friendships are a lot of work and they do take up a lot of your free time. I understand and accept that. I guess I am selfish with my free time and want to use some of it on things I want to do and some of it with things my husband and I like to do together.
I hope this is helpful to you.[/quote]
Yes it is helpful. So what im getting is. That alot of you aspie ladies don't have a alot of friends. However men have no stigma against dating a women with asperger. You can find a loving caring man that doesn't give a s**t about you not having alot of friends.

With the term 'lazy welfare queen' you are talking about aspie females?

Are you by any chance an NT woman whose husband has run off with an aspie female?

By "lazy welfare queen" he's not referring to aspie females in particular. The OP seems to believe that others should only like certain people though.

Sounds more like a 'she' to me, who is jealous of aspie females and can't understand our 'inexplicable' success with the men lol

Yes it is helpful. So what im getting is. That alot of you aspie ladies don't have a alot of friends. However men have no stigma against dating a women with asperger. You can find a loving caring man that doesn't give a sh** about you not having alot of friends.[/quote]

People keep giving you informative answers and you seem to be ignoring them.

Not having any or many friends is certainly no stigma and anyone who thinks it is is a fool.

Yes it is helpful. So what im getting is. That alot of you aspie ladies don't have a alot of friends. However men have no stigma against dating a women with asperger. You can find a loving caring man that doesn't give a sh** about you not having alot of friends.[/quote]

Your last sentence is a bit confussing. Being that I'm not a man- Why would a man care if the woman he is dating has a lot of friends or not?? What stigma is there about dating a woman with aspergers??

Please remember that my posts only represent me. I am in no way a spokesperson for women with aspergers.

May I ask, How old are you? I ask this because throughout your life you view things differently the more time you spend on this planet so there is the possibility you may not relate to a lot of what I have said do to an age difference.

Not for a man. many men don't care if women has alot of friends are not. In a way that a good thing for alot of you aspie women.
Now if your man with no friends. Well you have alot lower chances of getting a girlfriend.
Denial it all you want. But men are alot easier on you ladies than alot nt women out there.

I just don't get why so many very good looking, very social nt women can't get a man or even keep a man. On why so many men would not even try to date a more social or more better looking women. Look if a man is good looking,very social is he going to have alot of women after him. 99% chances he going to have a girlfriend (a straight man of course). If a man has asperger most likely no women would date him. Why do so many men going after aspie women but ignore the more succesful women.
Yet women are total opposite of that. ( go after succesful man, ignore the ''loner'' man)

men are alot easier on you ladies then they are on alot of nt women out there (at least that what I get from reading here)

I've never known many good looking and social woman who have been unable to get men, unless it was a purposeful choice on their part.

Nor me - they're mostly married with children.

One thing is for sure: AS shows a lot more outwardly in men than in women. I'm sure of this because I've met countless men in my life whom I can think of as possibly aspies, yet not one woman.

Thats something I used to wonder a few yrs ago why so many aspie women manage to find relationships? From personal experiance, I am sorta pulling a few hypothesis.

Yes aspie women are awkward but you know how many awkward, nerdy guys there are out there? Both aspie and NT. Well an aspie female are often the type of girl, these guys who have no luck with women are looking for? Aspies females generally are more interest, subject based then NT women. NT women tend to be more emotional based in social interaction. Therefore, they can befriend guys better but not have as much luck with the other women. Women are typically valued in society for being outwardly caring, empathetic and emotional. Well I found from personal experience that not having those traits very strongly does not put you at a disadvantage when it comes to many guys. Some guys, yeah but for many guys, nope. It does put you at a disadvantage when it comes to getting female friends however.

Im sure there are many awkward aspie females who dont know anything about guys and dating. But I can say, were typically non-conformist who end up getting along better with guys and being able to relate to them more easily then NT women. Sure NT women can probably pick up more men from flirting and what not. We dont play the game quite the same as the NT women. Well I dont. I sorta pull the friendship mode. Idk about other aspie females. Besides if were super awkward in person, we can always go online these days. You can generally find more men seeking relationships online. So when you are outnumbered online, then your chances go up.

I dont have a bf, but that is more due to personal preference and looking out for the right guy. I'm not looking to jump in and out of relationships. How do so many aspie women get into long term relationships? That I am wondering?

Look Bill, or whatever your name is.
This is me,



and you will or would never get me. Ever.

To everyone: if you did not notice yet, he - she - it - is a troll.