Gifted or Aspie?

Post Reply New Topic

I think just the fact that you're a resident of WP says a lot. Labels don't really matter diddly-squat (unless you're after Government assistance). You are what you are. The best you can hope for is to like and be comfortable with yourself. I know it sounds cliché but it truly is what makes the difference in life.

Anyway, as of the DSM 5, there is no AS (but what do they know! They can't work out whether it exists or not for less time than we've been living it. I think we know better ).

Gifted neurotypical people don't have nearly the level of social deficits as gifted autistic people. And they seem verry merry berry good at communication and language too, while I am good at a bunch of things, but not those.

You can have both....a person can be twice exceptional.

I considered giftedness for the following reasons:

Asynchronous development when growing up (advanced moral development, high level of intellectual ability, IQ in the 140's as tested in my teen years but which has not been tested since, none (excluding social) of the learning disabilities associated with ASDs etc).
Able to hold two way conversations with intellectual peers, able to socialise with children older than myself as a child
Sensitivities could be Dabrowskis excitabilities.
Memory so good that I got A grades in exams without needing to revise
Started at school early due to exceptional brightness
Labelled as exceptionally bright or extremely intelligent by schools and colleges.
Able to take care of basic functions if have when feeling well or when using routine (ie can cook for myself and dress myself etc)


However....

Have severe social problems, cannot integrate socially, have trouble connecting with peers, feel different.
Unable to find friendships
Difficulties in relationships
Prone to emotional upsets
Hit head or self when overloaded, overwhelmed, overly upset or frustrated
Want to socialise but can also tend to be introverted so have to limit social interaction to preserve energy levels (socialising is tiring, except when engaged in a fascinating conversation about a topic of mutual interest with an intellectual peer...I prefer two way in that instance as I want to hear their contribution...I may be able to learn something from them)
Bullied relentlessly from childhood (ergo why I failed at school as I played truant to avoid the bullies).

Intensive interests...hard to tell if ASD or Gifted as both can be intense. I often have so many interests I feel overwhelmed by them (I love learning and want to know about lots of things and try lots of things and do lots of things...I never lost my child like curiosity) which is why I can choose to pick just one or two to focus on at at time. I can however also become obsessed with those one or two things to the extent that I neglect other things or my other interest..so its a bit of a mixed bag.

I could have some elements of both.

But to avoid sounding arrogant and in case I am wrong I will say I suspect (due to my social problems and my inability to find people I can connect with despite wanting so desperately to from connections...hence why I feel so lonely, its not enough to have the company of others...i seek the connection that keeps eluding me, the connections that others have but I just can't find..it seems like it would be such a beautiful thing to experience...excuse my soppy moment there) I shall say I mostly suspect ASD in myself.

I hope you find the answers you seek.

PS Evgeny Kissin was a gifted child. He was a child prodigy on the piano. He is so cute:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4WOwvwh_zA[/youtube]

Any excuse to mention Evgeny...

I am gifted, and I used to think that was the main thing that set me apart from other people. That, and the fact that I live in a "redneck" community with people I have little in common with. I always felt sort of anachronous, misplaced, like half of me really belonged back in the 19th century, and the other half belonged in a Woody Allen movie, but no part of me ever belonged here.

I thought it was everyone else, not me, that other people are slow and ignorant - and many of them ARE slow and ignorant...but I mean I thought I just couldn't relate well to them, and vice versa, purely because we have different interests and beliefs. So I always thought if I found people with beliefs and interests more like mine, I would find my own kind of people and my whole life would change.

But it has never worked out that way. I can be around people I have more in common with, people with an intelligence level closer to my own, people with similar spiritual beliefs, or people with similar tastes and interests, and I STILL find them hard to relate to. I still feel misplaced and alien. I still find social situations confusing, and I still feel irritated and frustrated by all the same old behaviors of people.

Theoretically, considering my intelligence level, and my various talents and my ability to be auto-didactic, I "should" be a highly successful person. Other people expected me to be successful, to move on to bigger and brighter things, blah blah blah whatever, but I haven't done anything noteworthy or significant. Far from it, I struggle just to have a job at all. I feel like I have failed at pretty much everything I have ever tried to do.

ADHD was a good enough explanation for me, around the time I graduated high school and started college, but getting diagnosed and trying medication didn't really resolve anything for me. I still dropped out of college. Never mind that, I should still be able to carve out a role for myself somewhere without a degree, have my own business, something, right? No.

I found unexpected talents, by getting entry-level jobs and teaching myself things, that "could" have led to something better for me...but every single time it has been the work environment and social aspects of the job that finished me off. I can't handle the politics, all the gossip and backstabbing and manipulation that goes on...hell, even when people are being nice and friendly and accepting of me, it goes wrong somehow and they end up attacking me or hating me.

I never realized it would be this way, when I was young, I believed if you are smart or you are good at something, and you work hard you can achieve things. Now I know that's not true at all, it's all about who you know, and who you pretend to be.

Now that I know I may be autistic, this is the first time in my life that I feel like I might have a real explanation for things. I wish I had known when I was younger. It probably wouldn't have been very helpful back then, in terms of getting support in school, but having a better understanding of myself, I certainly would have made different choices about my life. I would have tried to choose a career path more suited to my temperament. And I would have been more protective of myself in social situations.

I feel like in order to understand myself I need to have the answer for this doubt. I couldn't find any ways of being comfortable with myself if I don't know what's going on... Unfortunately seems like I need the labels.


In here we don't receive it... Only for families that earn less than 847 dollars a year. Not my case fortunately.


Thanks, it made me feel better


But how can I measure it?


Basically difficulties with friends, emotional instability, introvert, being bullied.
Well, I'm not sure any of those indicate aspergers. But anyway I have never been bullied and I have friends, I like them and I'm sure they like me too. I had some psychological troubles with low self steem etc but I don't suffer about it anymore, I am emotionally healthy and now confident. Yes, I am an introvert.


Yeah, sensory processing issues, obssessive interests, social awkwardness... All of this can be both. Pretty confusing isn't it?


Me too. But there are some people I can relate to, and it doesn't depend on interest or intelligence... Simply there are some people I feel comfortable with. People that like my oddities.


Sorry to hear that

For social deficits, special interests, and sensory issues, the gifted autistic (GA) people will have these at more eggstreme level than the gifted neurotypical (GN) people.

Besides evaluation from psychs who have seen a lot of autistic people and know what to look for and what the levels are, another way to get an idear is to see how these or other autistic traits affect you in eberryday life.

For eggsample, GN person may say that they are sensory sensitive and don't like loud bright chaotic places, but when they have to be at one of these places, there will be little observable effect on them, they will be able to hear people talk to them and converse normally with others, indicating that while they may be more sensitive to sensory stimuli than other neurotypical people, their level of sensitivity is not so much that it affects their functioning a lot, while GA in same situation can't interact anymore, because they have greater sensitivity, and the noises are so many and so loud that they can't hear anything that people are saying, even if they don't feel gawdawful and want to flee the scene, which they probably do.

For special interests, GN will pursue them a lot, but they will also think about a variety of other topics often, and they will prioritize things like eating/drinking/sleeping and some socializing, but GA will be constantly thinking about the special interest while deprioritizing even the necessities of living.

These are some general comments based on my eggsperiences, so they are only rough idears, so don't take them as the complete accurate truth either. I am surrounded by gifted neurotypical people, and these are some of the differences between me and them.

Difficulty finding friendship due a lack of knowing how to go about it. Difficulty initiating conversations and keeping them going. Difficulty adhering to social rules due to not always knowing what they are (ie I didn't realise until I was around 14 that I was not supposed to tell the teacher who threw that pieces of paper when she asked and that tittle tattling was not acceptable socially).

Emotional instability is a more a sense of feeling easily overwhelmed which can result in episodes where I hit myself on the head, pull my hair and scream/shout. I tested as being emotionally immature and cannot always cope with or process my emotions, hence the emotional upsets. My emotions still work as they did when I was 13 and I was emotionally immature back then. I don't feel as though I have ever matured properly in that way. Ergo I may be nearly 40 and people may expect me to behave that way emotionally and be able to cope with the same emotional pressures that other people my age can. I cannot as I don't have the level of maturity to be able to do it. That is different to emotional instability. Emotional instability can have nothing to do with being emotionally immature.


Yeah, sensory processing issues, obssessive interests, social awkwardness... All of this can be both. Pretty confusing isn't it?[/quote]

Yes, but I also have a liking for sameness in some ways along side the above which could either be a form of OCD or part of an ASD.


Ie As a child, if my scooby doo schedule was disrupted (I do not like changes to certain aspects of my routine) I would become very upset and, in my mothers words, "have a tantrum from hell". And I did have bad tantrums, so much so I was labelled as a problem child by my family. Add sensory issues to that in that I had to have labels cut out of my clothing or I would refuse to wear them, could not wear pure wool or certain wool mixes, did not like certain food textures, would not play with dolls and tended to collect bank forms instead and so on.

All of which are not exactly neurotypical in nature as far as I can ascertain.

It is hard to tell if my sensitivities are ASD or not, especially reading the poster above me. Sometimes I am able to tolerate them in order to do what I want to do but I do tend to have cut things short as if I expose myself for too I can start to become upset by them. For example I do not like crowded places as I do not like too much noise (or sudden loud noises which basically make me jump out of my skin...the last time I experienced a sudden loud noise I not only physically jumped, I screamed and it was only a dog barking from behind a garden gate. On bonfire night when they had fireworks I nearly jumped off the couch...literally). For a while I can cope with it, especially if it is only noise that I have to deal with. However it is difficult for me to converse in such conditions as I cannot separate what people are saying to me from the background noise and eventually the noise becomes so much that I have to leave to go somewhere to quiet in order to recover myself.

But I can still tolerate the noise for a short period of time at least.

Ie in a crowded supermarket I can make it around several aisles before the nasty lighting, noise, pushing and shoving and the fact that they have moved the tinned sardines again and I now can't find them will result in my slamming my basket down and leaving rather hastily in what appears to be a huff (bad temper) to other people but which has more to do with my really needing to get out of there as I am upset by the environment.

On a quiet day however, I can make it around the supermarket with only minor discomfort.

I seem to have traits of both when it comes to ASD or Gifted.

I don't identify with NTs, i know this much, this can be partly why I have so much trouble making friends sometimes. I tried recently and was told by that particular social group that no one wanted to speak to me because I was too weird.

Story of my life. I have not made a platonic friend in 20 years and my relationships have been short lived. My routines and need for alone time can knock a dent in them.

I also don't really desire many friendships which does not help. I'd like one or two close friendships or a life partner (id be happy with just the latter) with individuals who can accept me for myself (quirks included) but at this time time remain socially isolated despite having attempted to socialise recently. No family left that I have any contact with (the ones I was closest too are dead), no friends and relationship. There is something wrong with my ability to socialise that surpasses just being an introvert or socially anxious (which is my diagnosis...social anxiety...and which my new therapist disagrees with, she thinks it's Asperger's as did a support worker who completed my disability forms several years ago. I don't presently work due to my inability to cope with social interaction). I also don't have self esteem issues. Overall, the above probably does suggest an ASD is present to some degree even if Giftedness may or may not be present too.

Is that sarcasm?

Although I have never been tested I probably fit into the twice-exceptional category. My mother's side seems to have the 'Asperger's traits'. For instance, my maternal grandfather was a brilliant man, but was socially inept. He passed away before I was born. My mother is intelligent, but lacks confidence in herself because her father abused her as a child and she has unresolved issues. My father was definitely gifted - he was great at languages and spoke about five languages fluently (French, English, Hungarian, Polish, German). He was able to pick up skills quickly, but moved from interest to interest after he 'mastered' them (mechanics, art, lapidary/gem-cutting work, cooking, mathematics and other things). He had some underlying issues and had various addictions. He passed away when he was 38 from a drug overdose. I don't seem to have been given his abilities in language or maths (that or I haven't developed them due to lack of interest, fear or ADD). My older sister shows the signs of giftedness, but has unresolved issues of trauma.

About that I would be somewhere in between, in really chaotic places like a show I would probably have a meltdown (never been to a show not that I want to...). In less chaotic places like a party I would be exhausted and have a headache and I would retreat to some quiet place to be myself from time to time; but overall I can handle it and people don't notice, only notice that I'm awkward. Some bright colors and some sounds physically hurt me. Like you I'm surrounded by gifted people like some college folks and my sister (very gifted), but I think I have more trouble with sensory imput, like in my classe they move chairs around and it's like URRRRG but I notice I'm the only one to cover my ears in a class of a 100. Also I like to smell and touch things, which other gifted people don't seem to understand.
About the special interests, I usually priorize them over things like socialization (parties, going out...) and eating. One of the reasons my mother avoids to let me alone at home is that she knows I won't stop to eat the whole day if I'm doing something I like. But I don't priorize it over other things like sleeping. I always sleep the same hour everyday.


That defines me pretty well. Except that I'm not that blind to social rules, but I don't know if that's because I love researching about behaviour and culture. My friends say I "turn into mathmatics" (they probably mean systematize) social relations, like treating them as rules not spontaneous attitudes.


I think that describes me too. I have "immature" emotional reactions like crying when being criticized, screaming when I'm annoyed or feeling really anxious. About instability, I feel easily frustrated, and when I'm overwhelmed I cry and scream and break things. Last year I hit my sister and I felt really guilty later.


Try doing some research on highly sensitive people. It's interesting. Around 7% of NT's are like that.


On supermarkets or other stores (not crowded) I go from aisle to aisle scanning and reading everything or just pacing, so I usually hear: 'are you lost?' or 'the cash register is right there'; last month a salesperson said: 'do you need a gps?' and I didn't know if he was being friendly or making fun of me, so I just smiled.


I'm sorry.


No. I don't say sarcastic things

I don't mean this in any way that would be remotely offensive but if a sales assistant said that to me I would find it very funny

A bit like the time someone asked me "Would you mind if I interrupted your monologue"...its the politest way I have been told to shut up and let someone else speak thus far. I like novel or sarcastic comments, I can be amused by them. Warped sense of humour I have.

It was like the time I sent everyone 30 miles the wrong way up the motorway because I was holding the map upside down. I thought it was hilarious, but the other people involved were not so amused.

My sense of humour can get me in trouble.

would you mind if I interrupted your monologue to say that's funny...?

Not at all, feel free

It has recently been suggested following autism tests that I'm gifted as opposed to being on the autism spectrum, but I've never considered my intelligence to be above the norm. The tests ive done have usually confirmed that. I've done well academically but that is more down to having gone to a good school and a lot of hard work.

I can't stand the term "gifted". I prefer to use the following alternatives:

Cursed
Snob-in-training
Mummy's special little snowflake
Bully magnet
Victim of great expectations

That's been my experience anyway.

Irimais,

I would say it is the same for me. I always got good grades in school, particularly in subjects involving a high volume of reading. I would say hard work and a solid knowledge base acquired by reading widely contributed to my success in school.