Avoid this depression trap

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The only solution is for people to be more tolerant of differences in others. The NT world needs to drop their taken for granted belief that everyone should fall in line with the social order. It baffles me that the world of people are so resistant to differences, they really can't handle it if someone is different.

Some companies are recognizing the advantages of employing people on the Autistic spectrum, but for most others it is not recognized as a good thing.

Hi Robdemanc, I think you are right. One part of the problem is also that the difference is invisible. But even when the differences are visible, people are no more accepting. It's pecking order all the way through.

The problem is, when they want to socialize constantly in this "pecking" way where they are to find out who is higher in the pecking order, I don't want to participate. I hate socializing that way. I cannot care for people who think about nothing but the pecking order, as they do at my current job. I have to leave because of that, even though I'm doing great at the job itself.

I'm more like a cat myself, so yes.
I don't understand why the NT have that need for social hierarchy. Why can't everybody be equal? Why someone has to be lower?

I think this is why I have been bullied so much. Unfortunately, one of the recent examples, is this girl who wouldn't stop saying how much she envied me, and that she wished she could be like me, that she envied how pretty I am, and that I am a genius, and she's not...... She was horrible. She'd come saying she wanted to help me, and then doing stuff behind my back and lied to me about everything. Also, so much envy is not healthy.
I'm so glad I blocked her. I don't want people like that near me.

Hi. I have many times in the past left a job that I was good at and enjoyed because I came to the point where I had had enough of the social situation in the work place. I often wish I could go back to that time and tell myself to just ignore it and do my job (after all it is my livelihood).

But, like a paradox, it is impossible to see it that way when thinking of leaving a job. My thought is to just need to be away from those people and their politics and games.

I have taken to not working for a long time now because of my inability to fit in with the crowd in the workplace. It is tragic though because I miss having a job and there are things I am good at that could benefit a company.

I wonder if you can focus on your role for the company rather than your role amongst your workmates? If you are doing a good job and are valued for the time you give to the company then is it right to give up your livelihood because of the social issues?

Sometimes in the workplace I have been myself and some people liked it and found me to be interesting rather than a threat to their established group.

It's not going to happen they never grow up[ sadly.

Anways where guilty of this to I believe she was near middle aged aspie women here claimed the men at the "meet ups" ethier irriated her or aroused her self pity, I did ask her if she thought it was a one way street oddly I did not get a response

I wonder if Doves have evolved from cats he comes when I call him when he feels like it or he yawns and looks the other way!

Yes, the issue is it's impossible to just act "rationally", because you are affected by the office environment emotionally. Especially if you work full time as I do. I feel like I'd rather never come back simply to avoid those people. I don't want to expose myself to any more mocking. It's an open office environment, so it's very social, and that's actually very stressful when working there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I agree, it's tragic lack of social skills prevent us from using our job skills. We become bullied cats in a dog pack - Bullied because we don't want to accept their social ranking of people, that including mocking people into obedience (peer pressure).

I know my livelihood is at stake, so I should fight for it. But on the other hand, if I get depressed when doing it, my livelihood is in another sense also at stake if I do fight for it. So it becomes a balance between feeling well and maintaining a livelihood - those two a conflicting, but both important!

It's really impossible to not focus on my role among my coworkers, when they sit around me, 3 facing me on the other side, and 1 person on each side additionally. Furthermore, I can see directly into the boss office, since it's made of glass. Their presence puts on an uncomfortable pressure.

I need to find a better job for me - social-wise.

Have the social issues been the same at all jobs you've had?

^^^


I yearn for the 80's with the enclosed office cubical , but with the 90's do.,con boom came the "open office with the "hackey sack" room

Yeah their comes a point when you have to make a choice between your health and your livelihood, which is a horrible choice to make. With me I always choose my health and quit the job.

What I have found with the social issues is that whether people seem to like me or not my jobs always end badly, or I end up quitting, because of the people! It is bizarre and I have been through some peculiar situations with people at work and had to leave to avoid them. I have even left high paid jobs that were easy for me to do.

Do the people you work with know about your AS? Perhaps if they did and you educated them a bit some of the issues may ease off.

Is your boss oblivious to the issues you have about working in such an open, public space? Could you not ask to move to a desk next to the wall or something? Have you mentioned your issues regarding constant social pressures negatively affecting your ability to do your job to anyone at your office?

Were they directly mocking you? What kind of peculiar situations were you exposed to? Sounds like it must have been horrible experiences when you chose to leave the jobs! But one's health is more important in the end, if you can get a sufficient income some other way. It's about getting a good life.

No, I haven't told them anything. Also, I am not diagnosed, but there is no point in getting one, because I am 120% that I have AS. Besides, I cannot see it would do me anything other than put me in a worse position job-wise.

They are not the kind of persons you should inform about an AS-diagnosis. They would use that to hit you, not sympathize with you. They have a tight pack, which is all that matters to them. So revealing something like AS is only going to put you in a worse situation because you drop in the social hierarchy, which means you have to put up with even more bullying. One should avoid revealing any weaknesses in that forum.

I dunno, I love dogs, respect them for their loyalty and adherence to a certain set of pack ethics, everyone eats, everyone is protected, and sometimes the betas can mate with the alphas lol

I don't think my boss considers it an issue - he is mocked by his own boss in an obvious way himself. Seems like he's content with it being that way, then probably thinking I am too.

The whole office is very open (glass walls), so it's not possible to sit anywhere "in peace". You are forced to be social.

No, not directly, but I have expressed it through my social attitude, i.e. tried to lessen the mocking-culture, only resulting in peer pressure from the others in becoming more of a mocker myself. It's almost like I made everyone turn against me because I did not want to be a mocker. So they pressured me (through mocking) into choosing to be a part of the group or get isolated.

I suppose telling your colleagues about AS is not preferable, no one should have to declare themselves as anything and its only because of intolerance and ignorance that declarations like that come about. Imagine someone having to declare to their colleagues that they are NT

The peculiar situations I have been in with people come about because I don't know their motives towards me. In some jobs I was very popular amongst colleagues and so they took more interest in me and wanting to have more conversations etc. So this naturally led to confusion for me, and often overload. In other jobs i got in trouble with the boss without being sure why and had some horrible ordeal with several managers in one place. I complained to HR and was offered redundancy!

One boss I had creeped me out because he sent me a lot of text messages when I was off sick. Other times I just felt it was due to lack of understanding peoples intentions which led me to leave the job so I could stop trying to work them out.

All of this happened before I knew about AS, I have not worked since I had the initial diagnosis.

What has really helped me with depression is medication.I got to see a great nurse practitioner with prescription approval and she helped me out so much.Somtimes we lack the inner chemicals to work against the depression chemical in our bodies.There's nothing wrong with taking a safe prescription for it.I had tried everything,especially a healthy lifestyle,and was still depressed.I haven't been in months now! I feel so happy and alive.I wish everyone could feel this way as well.

exercise, even if it seems impossible to even get out of bed