How have you experienced adulthood?

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Clakker
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15 Nov 2017, 3:03 am

traven wrote:

Clakker wrote:

traven wrote:

All, but 4.
I took up farming, esp shepherding, against the tide, now costs gone over benefits and it hurts a lot, physically and mentally, though it was weirdly informative and interesting.

You know about a year ago there was a program on tv that featured a PhD Biologist. She had given up her academic career for full time shepherding. She was also complaining about the ruinous effect it was having on her finances. Are you this very same shepherdess?

No, i've met people like that, also a shepherd-friend studied history&politics, i didn't study, though i was admitted for agri-engeneer-uni, long ago.

I thought it was unlikely.

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Fireblossom
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15 Nov 2017, 3:55 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Fireblossom wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

It's amazing how much money I can't save even though I don't have kids and I earn a decent salary. This is one of the biggest reasons why I'm immature.

Maybe you eat out too much? That's what you said in another topic... cooking at home is a lot cheaper than eating in restaurants or ordering food.

But then I'd have to pay for the ingredients. I'm not sure if it would be that much cheaper. I've tried cooking a meal a few times but I usually end up spending $10 or $20 on the ingredients.

Really? That's odd; if I choose what I make correctly, I can buy the ingredents for something that'll be enough for even five good meals with that smaller amount (10 australian dollars is just a bit over 7 euros.) Well, maybe you just eat much more or are just pickier about what you eat than me... or maybe food is much more expensive there.

Clakker
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15 Nov 2017, 5:06 am

B19 wrote:

Number 7 suggestion: "developed my special interest into a source of income"
Number 8 suggestion: "my artwork was published/bought/acclaimed"
Number 9 suggestion: "won an award for.."
Number 10 suggestion: "showed my maturity by caring for....."
Number 11 suggestion: "designed/invented a new ... or new way of doing things or new science theory"
Number 12 suggestion: "volunteered my time/energy/thoughts deconstructing AS myths"
Number 13 suggestion: "wrote article/s about x and published them"

These seven additions would make the list more AS friendly than just the set of 6 traditional NT goals.

I actually didn’t consider this when I began this thread. My autism is marked by seeing patterns and making thematic connections. There’s an inherent depersonalization in this way of thinking. The individual is seen in the context of being representative of patterns and commonalities. I think in categories that are neither rigid nor are they pejorative- they simply exist to categorize information (i.e. a windows file system with a Goggle search bar).
I had no intention of triggering a flood of negative emotions. :oops:

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HighLlama
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15 Nov 2017, 5:21 am

B19 wrote:

I've done number 13. I like these goals.

the_phoenix
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15 Nov 2017, 9:21 am

B19 wrote:

How about starting a new thread for this?

JT_
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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15 Nov 2017, 12:21 pm

1. Romance- Never had one and not actively searching, the love of my life right now is my car.
2. Marriage- Not really interested.
3. Children- Maybe one day.
4. Career- I have a job but it's not a career since I'm only currently employed for about 7 months of the year (seasonal contract).
5. Home Ownership- Not yet but saving up for it.
6. Friends- A few but not really any close ones.

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CockneyRebel
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15 Nov 2017, 5:39 pm

I think that adulthood is a fluid thing that's unique to all people. Everybody has their own ideas of what adulthood should look like. Some people have experiences that are more conventional and other people have experiences that are more unconventional.

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EclecticWarrior
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16 Nov 2017, 11:53 am

A very stunted definition of adulthood. I want to be more mature. I'm trying my best. But I just feel like a manchild.

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Clakker
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16 Nov 2017, 6:09 pm

EclecticWarrior wrote:

A very stunted definition of adulthood. I want to be more mature. I'm trying my best. But I just feel like a manchild.

This is why I began the thread. It wasn't trying to cull adulthood down to six benchmarks. It was about feeling like I'm living a bit self-indulgent since I wasn't actively pursuing 2-5 (marriage, kids, career, homeownership) and my community engagement currently doesn't go beyond accepting packages for the neighbours. I do all the usual things that a teenage boy does (looking for a girlfriend and seeking friends) and that at an age where I could (should?) be engaged in parenting a teenager. I guess I should have replaced adulthood with maturity. :wink:

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Joe90
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17 Nov 2017, 3:04 pm

Quote:

1. Romance
2. Marriage
3. Children
4. Career
5. Home Ownership
6. Friends

I am in a relationship and engaged, so will be getting married some day.

I'm scared to be pregnant because of the pain and sickness, and also I don't want to pass on my cursed ASD to my child.

I think career is the thing I struggle with the most in life.

I won't ever buy my home, unless I was rich. I'd rather stay in council.

I have friends and I am independant enough to go out and meet up and go places.

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redrobin62
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17 Nov 2017, 3:15 pm

1. Romance - No romance at all. Had sex once in my life. This was back in 1999.
2. Marriage - No marriage.
3. Children - No children.
4. Career - Was a nurse, cab driver, stockboy at Walmart, maintenance man at McDonald's, a few other things.
5. Home Ownership - Never owned a home.
6. Friends - No friends.
7. Developed my special interest into a source of income - nope
8. My artwork was published/bought/acclaimed - yes. I'm now a member of the Horror Writers Association because one of my short stories won a contest for $25.
9. Won an award for...my short story "The Candlestick Kid"
10. Showed my maturity by caring for....patients under my care in various nursing homes and hospitals.
11. Designed/invented a new ... or new way of doing things or new science theory - When I was screenwriting in Hollywood, I devised a notebook/folder combination that would help with writing and arranging scenes for films.
12. Volunteered my time/energy/thoughts deconstructing AS myths - I may have deconstructed an AS myth or two, but never volunteered my time to explaining them to anyone.
13. Wrote article/s about x and published them - if publishing them in my own blog counts, then yes.

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Trev038
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Joined: 19 Nov 2017
Age: 46
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Location: United Kingdom

20 Nov 2017, 6:23 pm

Clakker wrote:

1. Romance
2. Marriage
3. Children
4. Career
5. Home Ownership
6. Friends

1. I'm nowhere. Had a few short-lived relationships, never worked. but I could do with the company.
2. Don't know about that. Probably never.
3. I wish I could but I don't think I could handle it. I'd love to, though.
4. Nope. Working on it. Trying to turn my passion into a job, but so far I'm in a low-pay office job
5. Nope. Far from it.
6. Not many proper friends. Maybe two close friends. Loads of acquaintances.

Jeez that's depressing.

Embla
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Joined: 4 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 490

21 Nov 2017, 7:40 am

1. Romance - Yes. It's fun and all, but alone time is a higher priority.
2. Marriage - No. I only see the point of that if it's to help out someone who needs a green card or something.
3. Children - No. I might consider adopting at some point, but making my own seems like the worst idea ever.
4. Career - Well, it seems to be on it's way. I want to be a children's book illustrator, and I made some bad books already. I'll consider this one checked when I've made a good one.
5. Home Ownership - eeehh.. Does a caravan in a horse field count? Ok, no. But I'd really like to have a real house one day, and am saving up for it. With my current income, it would take about ten years. Would take about one or two years if I had a real job with an average salary.
6. Friends - Yes, I have a few of those. Don't see them much, but it's nice to know they're there.

RetroGamer87
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22 Nov 2017, 5:34 am

Embla wrote:

5. Home Ownership - eeehh.. Does a caravan in a horse field count? Ok, no. But I'd really like to have a real house one day, and am saving up for it. With my current income, it would take about ten years. Would take about one or two years if I had a real job with an average salary.

You live in a caravan? That's so neat!

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MagicKnight
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Age: 51
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27 Nov 2017, 10:24 am

Clakker wrote:

I’m curious did you feel “worse of all creatures” because you felt that all these benchmarks are an illusion and not worth striving for?

There's so much social pressure on people who are single and trying to figure out how to live a meaningful existence on this planet in their own terms that at times, there's no other aftermath than that of depression for being a total outcast. If you are interested, watch a movie called "The Lobster" directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. That movie tells a lot about this.

Embla
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Joined: 4 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 490

27 Nov 2017, 11:22 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Embla wrote:

You live in a caravan? That's so neat!

Haha! It can seem idyllic from the outside, but you do get a little tired of emptying the poop-box and bathing in a plastic bucket after a while. I still prefer it over an apartment though. Cheap, and no neighbours

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