Why do some autistics lack the ability too hide it?
06 Jun 2019, 5:13 pm
Jamesy wrote:
Why do a large proportion of males with autism lack the ability too ‘mask’ there Aspergers compared too other males who have a knack for hiding there autism?
Do men with aspergers such as myself and many others although highly intelligent lack certain skills that helps us mask our aspergers symptoms?
I understand that many females have a different form of autism that makes it a lot harder for people to detect it so in this thread I want to focus more on the males with AS.
Do men with aspergers such as myself and many others although highly intelligent lack certain skills that helps us mask our aspergers symptoms?
I understand that many females have a different form of autism that makes it a lot harder for people to detect it so in this thread I want to focus more on the males with AS.
A few of the points I was going to bring up was already mentioned so I'll skip those.
There are therapies that have been developed to help draw more symptomatic Autistic s out of their 'shells' and to help them be less symptomatic. They are done as children. Some of the children have responded very well and become much more engaged with the world around them. But some of the children have not shown much if any 'improvement'. They have not been able to pinpoint as to why some have responded and others have not. I suspect that this may tie in with the fact that some of us are not able to mask their quirks. So part of the answer to your questions is still unknown.
There are different types of intelligence so I'm not sure which you're referring to. In the case of more rigid logical thinkers, I would think that they would have much more trouble than a more emotional thinker.
When people have said that I "seem normal" my response has generally been that "I guess I'm a pretty good actress". Each person's ability to mask may be something like that, in how some people are good at acting and others are not. Not everyone can be a Hollywood actress/actor because they simply don't have the talent for it. Masking may have some similarities to this.
As I mentioned above there are certain therapies that can be implemented when we are young. I don't believe they have to be an official kind of therapy how well we are able to get along an mask could have some reliance on how much we were 'worked' with as children. I never had anyone other than my mother, but she will say how she worked, and worked, and worked with me as a kid. I have no doubt that this played at least some part in how I was able to adopt more 'normal' like behaviors. This also can be tied in with the gender differences.
As others noted, the things that are expected of females and males tends to be different. But also how we tend to raise our girls an our boys also has differences. After a certain age many boys are largely left on their own to grow as they will, while females tend to get more attention longer. More time is often spent in grooming social protocols, how to hold certain appearances and so on with females. We are taught to blend in and be apart of a group early on. Boys traditional aren't given so much attention for these things and this lack of attention is also impart as to why many males don't know how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. (Not that there aren't females also like this but it's much more prevalent among males)
There may be a kind of evolutionary role too. Women were long the main caregivers as such it meant we had to be more adapt at reading others. We primarily learned these skills by watching our own mothers, and mimicking them (ex. children feeding their baby dolls). Through this process we as a gender may have continued to evolve with this ability more developed than our male counter parts. So the even with the Autism challenging our social abilities we may be falling back on something (mimicry) that has been 'bred' into us over time. Men have things like this also but what was necessary for 'the hunt' skill wise doesn't sync up with social adaptability among other humans in the way a female's does.
Another note is when we are bombarded by the Autistic symptoms or have 'severe' Autism being able to mask would be very challenging if not impossible. When my reserves are low; stressed, overtired, overstimulated, anxious, etc. My mask falls away and more of my traits show up because I am too overwhelmed dealing with what is going on inside me to be able to do anything extra. I legitimately do not have the strength or will to keep up appearances. I drop into defense mode. If someone with autism is essentially living in defense mode, I don't see how they would be able to mask/hide the Autism, it'd simply not be in the realm of capabilities right then. Then those that have 'severe' Autism may not be very engaged in the world around them. To be able to mask you have to be able to observe and mimic that which is around you. If you're not present to what is around you you aren't going to be able to not care to hide traits.
As for being 'more' autistic' or 'less' autistic I don't find the language gels. You are Autistic or you're not. However I would say you can be more symptomatic or less symptomatic, if you're going to us the more and less language.
_________________
"Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world."
07 Jun 2019, 3:40 am
Twilightprincess wrote:
MrsPeel wrote:
I wish I could remember where I read this. And knew how to add pictures into a post.
I just remember seeing a picture with two overlapping bell curves, one representing the distribution of social skills in neurotypical males and one in neurotypical females. The bell curve for females is shifted a little more to the right, towards the side of good social skills.
Add in the bell curves of autistic/asperger/ND males and females, and the ND males are mostly (but not entirely) off beyond the left side of the distribution for typical males. In other words, most are outside the "normal" ranges such that the lack of social skills would be readily apparent. The ND females are to the right (social) side of the ND males, with more overlap with neurotypical males. More autistic females could therefore "pass" as NT, particularly in male company, though perhaps less likely to pass in the company of NT women.
I'm not sure if that was based on any science, it may have been a thought bubble. Just made a lot of sense to me. It's saying that there will be some ND men who can mask well, and there will be some ND women who mask poorly, but on average men seem a little worse at it.
I just remember seeing a picture with two overlapping bell curves, one representing the distribution of social skills in neurotypical males and one in neurotypical females. The bell curve for females is shifted a little more to the right, towards the side of good social skills.
Add in the bell curves of autistic/asperger/ND males and females, and the ND males are mostly (but not entirely) off beyond the left side of the distribution for typical males. In other words, most are outside the "normal" ranges such that the lack of social skills would be readily apparent. The ND females are to the right (social) side of the ND males, with more overlap with neurotypical males. More autistic females could therefore "pass" as NT, particularly in male company, though perhaps less likely to pass in the company of NT women.
I'm not sure if that was based on any science, it may have been a thought bubble. Just made a lot of sense to me. It's saying that there will be some ND men who can mask well, and there will be some ND women who mask poorly, but on average men seem a little worse at it.
Where I live, more is expected out of women socially. It’s more acceptable for men to be blunt than for women to be. Women are expected to exercise more tact and avoid hurting other people’s feelings to a greater extent than men are.
I’m not saying that’s how it is everywhere, but it’s something I’ve observed personally.
Yup, same here.
Jamesy
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