What's Your MAIN Issue?

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My main issue? People never fail to disappoint me.

My main issue now is to create a safe, thriving community for my aspy son and autie daughter. It eclipses anything else for me now.

My main issue is dealing with others, whether they be friends, family, aquatances, people I dont know ect... Sometimes I can manage, other times im seen as so akward and distant, perhapse even a tad inappropriate? Now that I have a GF I can hardly do any of that right with her, i have no ability to read her and fear she may get tired of that quickly, leaving me alone forever, one of my biggest future fears.

I cannot decide if it is my sensory issues or my difficulties understanding people and interracting.

I feel as if my head will explode when in crowds or subject to certain noises or two people talking to me at once.

And I lack the ability to know what to say if I wish to reach out and talk to someone... it is as if my mind just empties of words and there's nothing there.

It must be hard for you because your intense fear of losing her could hurt the relationship. Being painfully honest is how my relationship survived.

I knew a couple where the NT wife felt unloved because her aspy husband wasn't demonstrative enough. His feelings ran deep and he deeply loved her but he isn't the kind of person who would shout his undying love from the rooftops -- unless someone handed him a script that required doing that. He was awkward when he expressed his love. I think all they needed was to talk to someone who would get them to really talk and bring a better understanding between them.

I didn't understand what to tell them when they talked to me but that was years ago. Now I can reflect and better understand why things went wrong between them.

My main issue, at the moment anyway, is that no matter what nice things are said to me by ppl, I still feel like I'm a bad person/ugly/stupid/completely and utterly alone in the world, despite the fact that I have a lot of ppl who love me in it.

I don't understand why they do, and it annoys me that they must know something I don't, but I'll never understand it.

I discovered late in my autistic daughter's life that unconditional love and acceptance from her parents wasn't nearly enough. One day, in her earshot, I was telling my husband how courageous our daughter is because it's one day, one painful hour at a time to navigate through life without messing up the people around her or whatever she was working on. She takes everything so hard. I noticed that she was reacting better to life's challenges after she heard that conversation.

I understood, then, that she often hates herself. Love doesn't help much. To her, we, her parents, are like the long suffering martyrs who love the screwed up kid and make her feel guilty that we feel her pain and she hates herself for that, in addition to her harsh, unforgiving attitude about herself.. She gets upset at her screw ups way more than anyone around her feel about her mistakes.

Now, though, she's so much better because my husband and I talk about her often and about how cool her good points are. It works better than talking directly to her.

I think that kind of affirmation has a lot of healing power but has to be reinforced often.

heh, yes it is a challenge, I have yet to explain (if I even do) why I may act differently then any other BF she has ever had. She seems cool at the moment, I need to get her over and really just talk, she says I dont express myself and seem distant, I think ill explain that I love her and want to be with her, but may not talk about the AS/HFA thing ATM as it may scare her away...

heh... so tough to deal with, relationship stuff. Thank you for your concern it sounds like the NT wife and my GF have the same problem, a guy who loves them but may not know how to show it proporly.

That sounds so familiar. I often find solace in overhearing praise given about me. I simply don't believe it if someone tells me themselves. I feel they're pressured to say something nice.

It is painful. And tiring. I once read my first school report which said I was immature and sensitive and used to take everything to heart.. but now I don't think that was the case. I think it was purely just reinforcement for my conscious negative view of myself.

Meeeeeeee!

I know how that is.

The pick on the weird kid meetings? Have you talked with your boss about that? It's bullying, and bullying of any sort should not be tolerated in the workplace.

I'd say, "Perhaps you should take your own advice, and not act like high school bullies, who gang up on someone who wants to be left alone."

I don't think it's meant to be bullying. They just don't understand why their workmate doesn't want to join them outside of work, that's all. It's an NT thing, from what I've seen.

My main issues are communication and socialising.
I have to get a representative for myself in the court battle I'm part of (parents splitting up) even though I'm 18, as I cannot communicate my needs vocally. I can write down things wonderfully, but when I talk, I just can't make sense. Thoughts in my head seem to be in a different language; I cannot translate into speech.
I also tend to stand in the corner and read a book in social situations, and I also feel very sick, and nervous. I've never been to a social or a disco, because the thought of those terrify me.
I am 18 and I haven't even past the "fancying" stage that I notice that early teenage girls seem to go through before progressing to full-blown relationships. I have never felt any sexual feelings in my life, nor have I ever looked at someone and felt that weird feeling that people say they get when they "fancy" someone. I don't even know what the feeling is called.

It ~is~ a being interrupted which is very jarring to the senses. I disconnect simply for reprieve.