Depressed After Aspie Meeting

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I actually went to an aspie meeting this month and I walked out happy but almost nearly cried because this sweet lady who was there left before it even ended. She worked as a special ed teacher or aid at a school but only did it part time because the people who work there drive her crazy because they don't understand their students. She was surprised I worked full time and didn't have an aid and I lived in a apartment that wasn't for people with disabilities. I said I didn't need extra help and I have a bf and I don't need to have an honorary citizen bus pass because I can afford an adult one. I have my bf and we split the bills and I don't have any kids. But I did have an aid in school when I was in my teens but not in elementary school.

The meeting was nothing but listening and we all take turns to talk so it's like being in school. But we are allowed to get up and walk around than staying cooped up in our seats.
I wonder if I'm allowed to bring the laptop with so I can work on my B&J fanfic while there is the bla bla bla. I can't listen for long periods of time and if it is something interesting, it's frustrating because I can't keep up with the words.

I´ve been wondering for awhile if I should go to one of these meetings; I know there is a group that I could go to here. One of the reasons I was not sure about going is that I have not been diagnosed, so I wasn´t sure if I was "allowed"- though some have mentioned that people often go undiagnosed, so I guess that question has been answered. I realize now that one of the things that holds me back is fear. I tried getting information about this Asperger meeting via e-mail, but discovered it´s impossible- they gave me a number, which I would have to call. Well, needless to say, I haven´t done that yet, and I don´t like making those kinds of phone calls. I thought about just showing up at the place and asking for information...again, I have procrastinated. Now...hmmm...not sure if I should go or not.

I basically never go out to meet new people- (just go out sometimes with old friends)- so I was wondering if it would be good for me to go to one of these meetings. But I´m kind of scared. Well, I might make it one of these days....

As I have such bad luck with men and relationships, some people have suggested that it is easier for women to date other men on the spectrum. I feel pretty intimidated by NT men. But going to an AS meeting, to try to meet an AS men might be totally stupid..probably "inappropriate"...(???)

You might enjoy the company of an AS man if you are somewhat assertive as you'll probably have to drag him out of his shell in order to get him to talk.

I think you should go. Just try it and if you don't like it, don't go again.

I had to make a phone call myself before I went to one here. But it was cancelled that day because of the snow so I went this month. The meeting is for the diagnosed and for the self diagnosed and Roger Meyers (the group leader) said I can bring my bf.

When I think about how many people have posted here how they strongly they avoid using the telephone, it seems pretty foolish for a support group to use that as the contact method, doesn't it? I guess it is difficult for well meaning people to ever truly get inside someone else's head.

That's a really good observation. Actually it must signify that the group facilitator is an NT if they list a phone# unless perhaps its a way to weed out the low functioning? But most Aspies much prefer contact by email. I actually get mad at businesses that don't have emails because it seems so behind the times.

E-mail would be the most obvious choice, I agree. Even then, I'm hesitant using e-mail. I like discussion boards too much. =/

Well, it was a FAMILY potluck. Kind of required that I come with someone. But all of the other times, I went by myself.

Yes, that was my thought exactly! And that´s one of the reasons why I´ve been procrastinating. If it were by e-mail, I´d do it in a heartbeat. Yes...I told myself I´d try to call, and go to this meeting in February, when I have more time, and now that February is coming up, I see myself getting scared again...

This might sound really strange to some, but although I think I have residual AS, I´m really scared of actually meeting people with AS! I don´t know anyone with AS- (although I do suspect a few, but who knows?) I realize that all social situations have a different dynamic, and I´m afraid I´m not going to "know the ropes"...I realize that sounds totally stupid, as the others will probably be in the same boat, feeling like me...but it feels scary to me nonetheless. Maybe it´s just an irrational fear. Did anyone else feel this way? (Of course, I´m doing all this in German too, not my native language. Though I´d probably be just as scared in English).

Hmmm, well that may be a problem. I can be assertive about some things, but not romance...I´m totally shy. I have a kind of a problem, after years of obviously getting it wrong...so now I´m afraid to do anything.

I feel left out sometimes. I seem higher functioning than many others and it in some ways makes me feel bad. Often I don't fit in with other aspies.

I'm sort of contemplating going to one of these places to see what they're like. I know I'd probably be the highest functioning in the room but I don't really mind. I mean not one of us are the same. there are some aspies at school and we all get on like a house on fire but we are also quite a diverse bunch. I mean my best friend is a very low functioning aspie (he's had more meltdowns in a year that I've had in about 5 years!) but we still get on really really well.

But I'm a bit embarrassed about telling my mum I want to go to aspie conventions ("support groups" sounds too support-ish) which doesn't make sense why should I be embarrassed?

A lot of Aspies are embarrassed about emotions and admitting to having an interest in others ie: social interaction. So you've probably never admitted to much interest in meeting people before so it embarrasses you.

The conventions I've heard of are mostly geared towards parents. Try saying the words a social group for Aspies to your mom as support group isn't necessarily what the groups are really made for. Unfortunately people just call it that.