Aspies are normal too!

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Perhaps I'm just Dyspraxic then. And suffer with high anxieties. I don't know.

Whatever I've got, I am NOT in denial. Everything I wrote down on this thread is the truth.

Yer but black people or religeous people or whatever don't get laughed at in the street (not in Britain anyway - I don't know what other countries are like). Over here people judge eachother against behaviour. Fashion has also took over, so any young girl who is not wearing fashion seem to be looked down upon (though I would never judge someone's personality by their clothes). And everyone you see when you walk out in the street is acting so original - and if you decide to behave differently to them, they will look at you. When my boyfriend dumped me and wouldn't let me speak to him, I got really really upset and also wound up, and I was crying my eyes out in the bus station, and everyone was looking at me, just because I was crying - simply because no-one else cries in public (unless they're babies, but babies have priority to do anything).
So whoever is looking ''different'', people looking weirdly at them and laugh. There are plenty of black people walking about, but nobody looks at them or laughs at them, but if I was to, say, have a meltdown in the street.....by christ would I be the laughing stock of the town!! !! !
So in this day and age, all people look out for is whether people are acting normal or not, and if you're not then you will be laughed at. I could even put a bet on it. I've had people sniggering at me a couple of years ago because I was standing in a doorway of a clothes shop looking fed up, because I was waiting for my mum to finish looking at clothes.

So everybody seems to follow these ''rules'', and if you break one rule then you will be laughed at or stared at. I don't know why humans are reduced to this.

The only people that won't get looked at are people in wheelchairs who have major disabilities. But people like us who can walk and talk and be independent like everyone else will get looked at. Ohh, I can't explain it, but I'm just saying that these days all NTs are prejudice against are people who aren't acting ''normal'' in the street. I'm not saying I don't know how to behave normally, but one or two times I have blown it, and got looks from people.

So if someone is caught having a meltdown in public, people will just look as they pass, and laugh and just think, ''oh he/she must be really ret*d and weird and horrible!'' instead of thinking, ''oh he/she might have a condition. Better leave him/her to it!''
But then again, if an Aspie saw someone having some sort of physical meltdown in the middle of a public place, would we look and laugh? I don't think I would laugh, but I'll probably look and just think, ''oh dear.''
Also you get criticised for being different. I hate being criticised. I always get people saying, ''oh you should do this and you should do that,'' and when I try saying that I don't want to, they just say, ''oh stop moaning,'' then carry on lecturing you. I hate people doing that, so to avoid people being critical of me, I just go along with what other NTs do.

I'd rather be a Spirit of the British 60s, than be normal.

What is normal anyway? I think that everyone I know and everyone in my family is either unusual in some way or boring.

I recall going to a local Mensa meeting where one guy, a "normal" looking stockbroker, came out and said that he had Asperger's. Everyone just looked at him like "yeah, so ?" I've been around lots of people with graduate degrees, engineering backgrounds, academic scholarships, etc., and eccentric behavior is common enough in these groups to be "normal."

To clarify what I said before, it is okay to not be "normal." However, it is often advantageous to look "normal" and keep your mouth shut if you are thinking something that will cause you social difficulties, school difficulties, etc.

I had uncontrolled epileptic seizures for 8 years in my twenties and was on a lot of medication at that time. I found pleasure in the "normal" pursuits of dating, going to school, having a regular job, hanging out with NT people, etc.--but I didn't have my creativity any more and had to change career goals. Ultimately, I had brain surgery (which only impaired peripheral vision on one side), got off the medications, and got my old self back--much to the dismay of my mother who found me to be both unsubmissive and unhappy with the career path I had drifted onto under her guidance.

Currently, to the horror of my parents, I have given up my legal career (basically a boring state job involving a whole lot of phone calls and boring paperwork) and become a successful real estate investor (shark) slumlord. I also create speech and reading products for my two sons on the spectrum. (The idea of turning this into a business does not please my parents either. Where is the 401(K)? Who is your employer? What about a pension?)

I may do some advocacy, but I do not want to go back to a normal job or go back to being just normal.

I think all us Aspies are as normal as we feel. It's the same when people say, ''you're as old as you feel.'' It works like that. And I feel pretty normal, no matter how ashamed I am of having AS. It ain't about whether you're normal or not, it's how you see yourself as a person. And I know I worry too much about how I come across through NT's eyes, but this very post is about me and how I feel. I hate having AS, but if it makes me feel any better about myself then I will class myself as a normal person with some difficulties. (The difficulties I could do without, but that doesn't make me any less or any more normal than the next person.)
I think I fall into the average human life population. But it's just the way I feel about it as an individual.

Some other Aspies might think they're not normal and never will be, and that's your opinion about it. It's true to you.

Some NTs might class themselves personally as not normal. My NT auntie says it all the time about herself. I just tell her, ''if that's the way you feel about yourself then it's not my business to change what you believe within yourself.''

Joe 90, We are pretty much on the same page. I think with a little confidence building and social skills guidance, someone with Asperger's can successfully integrate with society.

Feeling normal isn't going to rewire my brain.

Normal is not a state of mind. Normal is a nonexistent Platonic ideal, on which all humans are to greater or lesser degrees variations. Normal could also be defined as being within a standard deviation of average on all significant measures. Or any other definition, really; it's just a word.

But please do not define it as good. That breeds typicalism, which will oppress all of us. Maybe not you, but I will suffer, most of the others on this site will suffer. Or you can realize that variation is necessary and stop shooting yourself in the foot. Then you will benefit, and we will benefit.

Well I'm just saying we are average, if not we're close to average. That's why some Aspies have to fight to get DLA, because those with mild AS are as good as a NT, when it comes to self-sufficient and independency. And there will always be some areas where we need help with through life, but that doesn't mean we aren't any less average to the next person.

It might surprise you that some NTs are able to claim disability benefits!

Which average?

The mean is where you add up all the values and divide by the total number of values. This pretty often doesn't actually exist on any given trait (like having 2.5 kids), so standard deviations are determined as a range where a certain percent of the data fall.

The median is where you line up all the values from smallest to largest, listing any repeated values as many times a s they occur, and pick the one in the middle. If you have an even number and a bimodal distribution, this can be very misleading.

The mode is simply the most common value. If you poll ten people on their favorite color and five say blue, one says red, two say orange and two say green, the mode is blue. This is the only one that can be used for data that you can't assign numbers to.

We don't fit any of these. Aspies are not the mode; we're less than 1% of the population. Introverts (we practically all are) are not the mode; people with sensory processing disorder (we practically all have that) are not the mode, either. Because of the cutoff, the mean IQ for an Aspie is not 100. We do not develop in a normal order. We do not become interested in normal things. We end up with abnormal skill sets and moreover strangely scattered skills. WE do not have normal instincts. It's true that we are more similar to NTs than we are to bananas. We're vastly less similar to NTs than they are to each other, and the differences are meaningful, because they mean we need to opt for different courses of action to achieve success in life, however we define success.

I am not surprised that some NTs claim disability benefits. This would be because they're disabled. NT does not mean normal; it usually gets used to mean "non-autistic" around here, but technically means "neurologically within certain parameters such that they could not be diagnosed with any mental illnesses or developmental disabilities that affect cognitive function." Now, MS and central pain might both be in a gray area by that definition, but it's commonly understood that they don't make one non-NT. Similarly, some NTs are paraplegics. Some NTs are blind, some are deaf, some have chronic fatigue or pain. NT does not mean normal. It means normal-minded, not able-bodied.

Look, when I say you're not normal, that isn't a value judgment. You're a luxury sedan in a world of jeeps; you're not normal. You're not MEANT to be normal. (Well, you might be. I can't say that I know you, but nothing at all about what you've posted really screams AS to me.) You are what you are and if you want to argue that you're valuable, I'm right there with you, but if you want to argue that you're valuable because you're normal, well, you aren't.

Weirdo, freak, spaz, nerd, geek, idiot, mug, abnormal - call yourself and other Aspies what you want. All I know is I am normal-minded. So I have a few difficulties - who cares? How does that make me not normal? I know you think that all NTs are normal-minded just because they're not diagnosed with anything and all think the same, but they are not. And I know you're right about NTs are people who aren't diagnosed with anything, but that doesn't mean they're all normal-minded/able-minded. I've come across loads of strange people in my life who are NTs but are very odd and even I would ''laugh'' at them (not horribly).

I've heard some strange stories on the news about people, and no disabilities were mentioned, and they were most probably NTs. What about peadophiles what rape children? What about these people who are cruel to animals? What about these people who walk around and never bother to wash even though they work and live in a house with hot water? What about these murderers? What about these people who just cause grief for no reason? It isn't always drink and drugs and awful upbringings - some people just do these weird things. Is that normal behaviour? Are their minds working normally? I don't think so! There are lots of people I can name who don't behave normally or who aren't in the ''real'' world. Compared to them, I am perfectly normal. My IQ is average, and I am interested in normal things, and I get along with normal people.

Yes, I may suffer from acute hearing - but my mum does, and she's NT. She can't stand loud noise, and won't go to any parties where there might be loud music. One of my colleagues is NT, and she avoids the crowds. She finishes work at 5pm but waits around at work til the rush hour is more or less over because she really hates all the hubbub in the high street. My other NT colleague shys away from social events because she is a shy person and finds it hard to fit in sometimes. She likes to be around people who she's comfortable with. Does that make them abnormal, just because they lack a certain ability what most NTs don't?
Throughout my life I've experienced lots of weird and wonderful people. (Not the people who I just mentioned - I meant weird people who are the type who most normal people wouldn't want to get involved with.)