How come NTs don't accept us?

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I find they can't tolerate anything out of their box. And if you are that person that doesn't fit then something is wrong with you, because it certainly can't be them.

I think that wealthy NT's have the luxury of drawing a circle in the sand, declaring that everyone inside of it is normal, while everyone outside of it should be beaten, medicated, restrained, or institutionalized.

(I share this opinion with the writers of 'House', from whom I paraphrased the above quote. It is to their credit, not mine.)

Your friend does this because he doesn't understand properly and thinks that with encouragement you can change and that this will make you happy, and you can both have fun together as well. He does this with the best will in the world. He's right when he says the best thing for depression is to socialise etc - IF you were an NT.

Perhaps you think you've explained fully, but asperger's is a very difficult concept for NTs to understand. It takes a lot of patience but we can do it. Just saying you're depressed and that you don't like going out will only make your friend want to try and help you more in the way that he would want to be helped himself, ie encouraged to socialise.

If you don't really know what to say to your friend to help him understand (it will take more than you telling him you feel like this because you have Asperger's - he won't understand the nuances of what that means without a lot more information), it would probably be a good idea to find some literature to give to him. I've had a lot of insightful info from the UK National Autism society (www.nas.org.uk, in case you're in the US), or as I'm sure you know there are tons of autobiographical style books written by aspies available on the market.

This might help your friend understand what you really mean and what sort of questions he needs to ask you in order to help him understand and stop what you see as him pressurising you.

Hope that helps.

Last edited by bloop on 12 Sep 2008, 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You and me both.

Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick here, I'm not sure if you;re referring to something specific or just things in general that don't affect other people.

This isn't directed at you personally lionesss but Asperger's does affect NTs. We care about you but you don't communicate with us in a way we can understand (sound familiar? ). Much of the way that's typical of Aspie communication (or non-communication) feels like rejection. Which is hard. Especially when it's a close friend or family member.

We all need to meet half way, it's not about Aspies becoming NT or NTs becoming Aspie.

Are you being sarcastic?

This is hypocritical BS. Aspies can't tolerate anything out of their box.

I don't want to get into the middle of this flame, but I just was thought I'd put my 2 cents in. I've been in this situation too many times to count. And yes sometimes I end up being labeled as the "weird" one that doesn't want to hang out with people and be friendly, social etc. But in the end, I think if this person really is your friend they'll understand. I don't think you should force yourself to go through this, because it will only make you miserable in the end and if you're like me it probably won't accomplish anything but that. I hate to say "never socialize" but if you're this nervous and miserable about it then I'd say don't do it. Try not to get angry with your friend, they don't understand and maybe they never will. But hopefully, and time will tell, they'll be your friend anyway.