why are self-diagnosed aspies considered "posers?"

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And some of us are just confused like me. Even Aspie quiz says I'm a person with traits of both AS and NT. I have other mental health issues that are more severe in my life though and I get treatment for those, I've been told that if I do have AS, it's not impairing me nearly as much as the mental illness and I don't need yet another label.

Anyway, I have some social issues (but I guess not as bad as it could be), I have special interests, and severe meltdowns and shutdowns, and during my mental illness symptoms I suddenly get sensory issues. I can relate, which is why I stay here. Plus one of my interests is autism, sometimes I wish I could get a job to help teach children affected some life skills.

i looked into getting a diagnosis, but it costs right at $2200, and i don't have that kind of money to spend on a diagnosis. i'm not paying that much for someone to verify what i pretty much know to be true. this is not unlike how i haven't officially been diagnosed with gluten intolerance, and i'll have people ask me, but how do you KNOW if you haven't been tested? well, i figured it out on my own, and to get tested for gluten i have to start eating it again, so that i can be told that yes, i am in fact being made deathly ill by it, and oh by the way you should stop eating that immediately. no, thanks. i know i'm gluten intolerant already. no tests needed. i feel much the same about asperger's; the only difference is that i've shared this self-diagnosis with only a few people.

my neurologist accepted my self-diagnosis of gluten intolerance, but i haven't run the asperger's thing by her yet. and on the other end of the spectrum (haha) we have my therapist (of the CBT variety), and when i told her i thought i have asperger's she responded with: but you can't have it! you make eye contact! and then she went on to tell me about another of her clients who she was absolutely positive had asperger's, only she doesn't like labels so she didn't tell him. meanwhile, he continued therapy with her but couldn't figure out why life was so hard for him. i left that session feeling very, very bad for poor undiagnosed guy, and now i'm looking for a new therapist. so, sometimes it's hard to get diagnosed when even the professionals won't tell you what's wrong with you!

and yeah, i feel like a poser on here for being undiagnosed. it makes me feel bad. i don't want to feel bad about this. i already don't fit in in real life. i want to fit in here.

this discussion reminds me of how bisexuals are treated--not accepted by straight people, and not so much by the gay community, either. i say this as a lesbian who once thought she was bisexual--thank god no one has ever asked me, but how do you KNOW you're gay? were you officially diagnosed?

OK I am a still unsure, think I may be, nothing official, unsure, whatever. Actually I think I am really having a little denial, I don't want to be here. nut I can't ignore it. I got here because of the same problems I have been having my whole life, but it seems like suddenly in my 40s, I am having trouble just getting by. I'm not going into it all here. I'm not looking for sympathy, benefits, excuses, or attention. I have studied my motives. I am here because I need to know what works for you, how do you deal with things. What I have been doing my whole life to half-way fit-in, (and yes I can "fit-in" sometimes) isn't really working.

When I was growing up, there was no dx of AS, I did get a Learning Disabilities label in school, and at the same time Gifted, and put in speech therapy, and they considered holding me back a year for not fitting in with the kids my age.

I have a job and health insurance and that still wouldn't pay for any mental health over $2500, I also work for a healthcare organization, which means my employer, my co-workers have access to my health records,( and no they shouldn't be telling things, but they do) The other thing is that I appear "functional" to most people most of the time, another strike against getting a true evaluation. I wish I could get evaluated, I would do it tommorrow if it wasn't costing anything, and I wasn't afraid I might end up un-insurable in the future. I would love to have the confidence to tell my parents that many of the problems I had growing up weren't their fault. To tell my partner of 12 years that I am not a "freak" as he calls me when I have a meltdown, or have to pull away from his touch. To be able to explain to the few people I do like to socialize with that I'm not trying to be rude when I turn down invitations to go out to a bar or restaurant because I won't be able to handle the noise, or when I do go and I leave suddenly without saying goodbye.

I can already see the flames coming, I didn't think this really bothered me, but it does. I don't want to "self-diagnose" with Asperger's, I just don't think I have a choice. And I have dealt with enough messed up stuff for one life already, it's not like I need anymore. But everything I am, everything I am not, keeps pointing me back to this. If I am mistaken, then fine. But given the fact that I am dealing with the same things many of the "diagnosed" are, I'm going to keep working under that assumption. If I can learn some things about how I work, and maybe change a few things to make my life a little easier to deal with, then good for me, and since I'm not taking anything from anyone or hurting anyone, then it doesn't affect you. Bash away.

OK that's harsher than I want to get, but at the same time I am not changing it. I know there are a lot of good people here, with and without a dx. I thank you all for your posts, and I really enjoy the diversity here. It's nice to see people as interesting as I am. Tonight I read some things that I can use in my day to day life. That's what matters. Maybe one day something I say will mean something to someone.

Ever since I was in kindergarten, I knew I was different than other people, but no one could figure out what it was. Five years ago, as a registered nurse, I started putting two and two together and began thinking about the autism spectrum. I researched it a bit more and discovered Aspergers. I took a couple of online "tests" and was relieved and surprised by the results. I made an appointment with a psychologist who specializes in autism issues. He officially diagnosed Aspergers. He said it was one of the most cut-and-dried cases he's ever seen.

I'm self diagnosed and I have no desire to see a doctor about it - there doesn't seem to be any benefits in it for me. On the other hand - it seems dangerous to self-diagnose just on the basis of being socially awkward or being teased. It won't harm the autistic community but it seems dangerous for the diagnoser themselves. It seems safer to look for other traits too - like inability to multi-task (shutdown from overstimulation), inability to follow conversations where more than one people are talking, inability to make small talk or carry a conversation, inability to get sarcasm, inability to look people in the eye, inability to read faces and gestures, obsessive interests that take you in, repetitive motions (pacing etc.). I know not all aspies have these traits, but it seems dangerous to self diagnose if you don't have any of these traits apart from just shyness and social awkwardness.

I'm not living my life functionally. I don't work and I barely leave the house. I also don't have any way to get diagnosed or get help.

This is my own case. If people think I'm fake I don't mind, really. I just know that it explains so much about my life and stuff about myself that even if I'm the only one who thinks I'm real it's okay. I like that I can understand why I am the way I am, finally.



This is my case as well. We just can't afford to do anything about it for the forseeable future.

I don't consider myself "self-diagnosed" because it was my therapist who suggested that I might have AS. I'm planning to visit a psychiatrist for more extensive testing so that it can be proven as fact rather than just a hunch.

I think having a diagnosis can offer a sort of validation. It would solve the issue of constantly wondering "Do I have this? Am I a 'true' aspie?" Personally, I need that professional opinion. Before I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, I did a lot of research. I had every symptom in the book, but still felt like I needed a doctor's opinion. I'm curious as to why.

Last edited by IndieSoul on 04 Jul 2012, 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^^^ in the back woods of the deep south.

Also, note the ages on those who are managing to dogpaddle compared to the ages of those who are clearly floundering. My "niece" is on SSI -- when I was her age, I wasn't doing much better. I expect she'll find her feet sometime during her 30s, and have gone on record as predicting that she'll be a Linux guru when she does.

I was diagnosed at six years old with "autism" (think early 1980's) FAS, GID, Echolalia, hyperlexia and dyscalculia by a school psychologist after three rounds of testing and play therapy. Then the woman who gave birth to me took me to a pediatrician and he labelled me with ADHD. In adulthood I've been dx'ed with bi-polar and BPD.... I know I do not have ADHD or bi-polar, I simply do not have the traits. I am certain I have a decent dose of PTSD maybe even C-PTSD...

So, at 5PM today I am going to see a shrink for my first assessment as an adult. It only took two years to get an appointment... I don't have to pay for it, that I am aware of yet anyway, I'll know more after the meeting I guess.

Panic mode: ENGAGE

I have a couple of reasons for wanting an official dx, first is to shut people up.... I'm tired of people asking/suggesting I might have AS... Secondly, I'd like to know for myself so I can take action. Get into therapy with a therapist that has the tools to help me. More internal understanding of myself is always welcome. I need an official dx in order to unlock local programs in the community. Maybe meet some peers, my boyfriends social life has taken a hit since we've been together, he wants me to have friends of my own and to learn some social skills.

Getting diagnosed is not expensive. When I was diagnosed it only cost $50 that was when i was 18 or 19. I am 25 now. I called the office where is was diagnosed out of curiosity and the price was still the same... $50.

Some places do charge around $250 or so, give or take. Since I was on Medicaid when I was diagnosed due to being on SSI, they wouldn't take the insurance. I have horizon now because that is what Medicaid is now issuing i guess. Not sure if the new doctors will take new medicaid or not. Worth a ty. Just call around and you will find a cheap price!

It entirely depends on where you go. My diagnosis cost $1600. It was absolutely worth it for us, but it was expensive. If it was $50 I'd have been diagnosed a decade earlier than I was diagnosed.

Holy **** man, that is seriously expensive. In my area of new jersey we have a rapidly growing autism community and there are so many resources it is ridiculous! My area is full of people with HFA! So maybe that's why it's so cheap?? I'm not sure!

I know this thread was made in 2010, but I just want to point out that many traits are shared amongst a whole tree of different diagnoses. Frankly, I wouldn't assume the OP was on the spectrum just for these reasons, as many people, even NT could relate and share the same disconnect with society. Environmental upbringing also plays a huge role in how we fit into the puzzle. ASD is not an environmental problem, it's often a genetic one and we are born with this.

Computer games? Who DOESN'T love computer games? I know who, not all aspies love computer games, but a lot do, and even more NT love computer games as well.

I'm not being an ass, just honest. Obviously I can only speak for myself, since I know only my own circumstances, but traits can be shared with many. Unable to show affection, that can be a sign of child abuse, or it could be social anxiety or I'm sure a number of other reasons. Depression, even. Obviously if you are comfortable with what you think you have, I see nothing wrong with it, but for me at least, I would be scrutinizing every possible reason, including diet. Diet can also play a huge role in personality and how you feel.

I'm not comfortable with people that don't try, is all. I was pretty young when I was diagnosed, but I do remember my Mum taking me to see a whole bunch of people, even several naturopaths to rule out dietary factors and such. In the end, my problem was pretty obvious once everything else had been ruled out.

It doesn't sound like you tried at all; it sounds like it was all done for you.

And, how do you know that people haven't tried? Over 20 years I saw 20 doctors on whom I spent tens of thousands of dollars. And before that my mother took me to various naturopaths in addition to her own (Japanese) folk remedies. The result was no answers.

Only after I worked things out for myself, scheduled myself to see specialists, and insisted that those specialists do certain tests did I get anywhere. (For physical health problems.) The process has left me with much less regard and feeling of need for the expert opinions of experts.

You were on Medicaid when diagnosed? If so, it is likely that Medicaid picked up most of the bill, and the $50 was just the co-pay. I"m not on Medicaid. Nor am I on SSI. and being between jobs, I'm also not on any medical insurance. Any medical bills I rack up now will come completely out of my pocket.

Read through this thread, and note the ages of those insisting that getting diagnosed is easy and the ages of those insisting that it is anything but. Those saying it's easy are invariably young and got diagnosed while children. Those saying it is not easy, are too old to have been diagnosed while children -- the diagnosis did not exist when we were children. It is easy to get diagnosed while a child. Once you pass a certain age, it gets progressively more difficult. Add being female to the mix only adds to the difficulty. When there is no upside to getting the diagnosis, why bother?

Frankly, from my research, I'm beginning to suspect that the money would be better spent on Buddhist mindfulness training and acting lessons, than on anything "modern" medicine is currently offering.