NT phrases or questions that drive you nuts!

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untilwereturn
Deinonychus
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21 Jul 2016, 8:35 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Untllwereturn: Were you ever diagnosed as having "minimal brain dysfunction" when you were quite young? Or with a "perceptual disorder?"

I find many people diagnosed with "brain damage/injury" or "minimal brain dysfunction" in the 1960s-1970s would be diagnosed with HFA/Asperger's/Level One ASD today.


Not that I am aware of. But I grew up in a small, rural community where people weren't routinely diagnosed for anything non-physical. My entire school (then grades 1-8) only had about 200 students, so there weren't many specialists of any sort there. I did, as I mention in the book, go to see a speech therapist for my lisp, but that was about it.



kraftiekortie
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21 Jul 2016, 8:47 am

I had a severe speech delay--didn't talk till 5 1/2. They had to diagnose me with something LOL.

It was autism at first---then it was "brain-injury/damage." The latter was the working diagnosis all through my early school years.

I'll have to read further. I feel you. The probably thought you were apathetic/lazy, etc as a kid. That must have been frustrating.



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21 Jul 2016, 8:49 am

"Just suck it up!"
Tell a guy in a wheelchair to walk.
"You need to learn social skills, everyone does!"
Yes, I have for a long time, you don't think I'm trying?


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Deinonychus
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21 Jul 2016, 8:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I had a severe speech delay--didn't talk till 5 1/2. They had to diagnose me with something LOL.

It was autism at first---then it was "brain-injury/damage." The latter was the working diagnosis all through my early school years.

I'll have to read further. I feel you. The probably thought you were apathetic/lazy, etc as a kid. That must have been frustrating.


That certainly sounds like classic autism. If the diagnosis were still in the DSM in 2014, I'd certainly have been diagnosed as having Asperger's since I had no speech delays. Just social delays. :) I was lazy and selectively social by most accounts, I think.



kraftiekortie
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21 Jul 2016, 8:58 am

I think you're quite right about that. You'd be squarely in the Asperger's camp.

I was a person who exhibited classic-autistic symptoms until age 5. Then I became quite Aspergian.

You should read a work known as "Elijah's Cup." Elijah was a kid who exhibited the same profile I did. So did Temple Grandin, actually.



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Deinonychus
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21 Jul 2016, 9:02 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think you're quite right about that. You'd be squarely in the Asperger's camp.

I was a person who exhibited classic-autistic symptoms until age 5. Then I became quite Aspergian.

You should read a work known as "Elijah's Cup." Elijah was a kid who exhibited the same profile I did. So did Temple Grandin, actually.


It's remarkable that you were able to make that transition. I'll have to add that book to my reading list! Thanks.



kraftiekortie
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21 Jul 2016, 9:16 am

You know what I'm wondering? I'm wondering if maybe you, and others, could do an anthology-type work. In addition to excerpts from the book you've written, you could have other autistic people give their accounts.

If only my mother and father had a better memory of my childhood! If this were true, I could become part of the mix.

Objective accounts, without too much of the infusion of politics. Just detailing one's life, how they were treated, the treatments given, the strategies employed. Straightforward, anecdotal accounts which would be appealing to a mass audience.

Perhaps this could create a springboard which would enable the New Autism to become well-known.

The Old Autism, the one with the poor prognosis, with the kid in a corner rocking and spinning objects, with the kid not socializing, is still how most people view autism.



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21 Jul 2016, 9:22 am

Sorry for derailing the thread LOL

What drives me crazy sometimes is when people say it's "hump day" or something like that. People love to live in clichés. It also drives me crazy because if it were a 2-humped camel, we'd actually have 2 "hump days" LOL: Tuesday and Thursday.

When you think of Hump Day, think of the Bell Curve.



paradox_puree
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21 Jul 2016, 4:00 pm

Dataunit wrote:
Questions in general piss me off, tbh - unless they're questions that are strictly necessary, or as a way of gaining academic information.

I don't understand why people at work keep asking "how was your weekend?" and "did you go anywhere nice?" when I invariably answer "fine, thanks" and "no" respectively. I call these reflex questions or compulsive questions because the asker doesn't care about the answer; they're only asking out of habit. I know I only ever ask questions like that when I know they've done something interesting and actually do want to know how it went. Asking out of 'politeness', rather than genuine interest, makes people phoney and insincere.


... I've never understood why people ask these questions about weekends and "did you go anywhere nice." I try to answer honestly and tell them stuff, but it always feels like a bit of an invasion of privacy. I've tried it a few times myself, and people have talked to me for a while, but it just feels so... weird. I hadn't considered that it was a reflexive thing like "How's it going?" I thought they were genuinely interested.



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21 Jul 2016, 4:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You know what I'm wondering? I'm wondering if maybe you, and others, could do an anthology-type work. In addition to excerpts from the book you've written, you could have other autistic people give their accounts.

If only my mother and father had a better memory of my childhood! If this were true, I could become part of the mix.

Objective accounts, without too much of the infusion of politics. Just detailing one's life, how they were treated, the treatments given, the strategies employed. Straightforward, anecdotal accounts which would be appealing to a mass audience.

Perhaps this could create a springboard which would enable the New Autism to become well-known.

The Old Autism, the one with the poor prognosis, with the kid in a corner rocking and spinning objects, with the kid not socializing, is still how most people view autism.


I think that would be a fabulous idea. I don't know how you'd get the ball rolling on something like that, but I do think it's important that the general public grasps the concept that it's all a spectrum. I tried really hard to hammer away at that truth in my book. The last thing I want is someone saying that I painted with too broad a brush, or how their experience is different from mine and thus invalidates my story, etc. Hopefully I've succeeded in that regard.

My parents, especially my mom, seems to have forgotten some of the details I recount in my book (like the comment from my teacher on a report card), even though she's the one who told me about some of these details years ago. Documenting people's stories could have a lot of value for future generations. Clinical information is helpful, but it also tends to dehumanize people when it's not balanced with real world examples.



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21 Jul 2016, 4:34 pm

paradox_puree wrote:
Dataunit wrote:
Questions in general piss me off, tbh - unless they're questions that are strictly necessary, or as a way of gaining academic information.

I don't understand why people at work keep asking "how was your weekend?" and "did you go anywhere nice?" when I invariably answer "fine, thanks" and "no" respectively. I call these reflex questions or compulsive questions because the asker doesn't care about the answer; they're only asking out of habit. I know I only ever ask questions like that when I know they've done something interesting and actually do want to know how it went. Asking out of 'politeness', rather than genuine interest, makes people phoney and insincere.


... I've never understood why people ask these questions about weekends and "did you go anywhere nice." I try to answer honestly and tell them stuff, but it always feels like a bit of an invasion of privacy. I've tried it a few times myself, and people have talked to me for a while, but it just feels so... weird. I hadn't considered that it was a reflexive thing like "How's it going?" I thought they were genuinely interested.


I'm genuinely interested in what friends, or people who might become friends, do on the weekend and how they're doing. It might be the start of a nice conversation about an interesting or fun hobby or passion. Is it always interesting? No, sometimes it's really, really boring, but I find the good ones to be worth all the boring ones. Most of the time, the conversations are quick anyway: I share a quick sentence about my weekend and they share one back.

Congrats on your book, UntilWeReturn. Good luck with it, and if you decide to take the project further. Please keep us posted. :)



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21 Jul 2016, 4:59 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
*Current time is 5:52*

Me: What time is it?
NT: 6:00.

GAAAAAAAH!!


I had that problem, but i carefully trained my family members to give me at least the [hh:mm] part. I'd prefer full ISO 8601 compatibility, but hey - we're only human :lol:


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21 Jul 2016, 6:04 pm

Quote:

Congrats on your book, UntilWeReturn. Good luck with it, and if you decide to take the project further. Please keep us posted. :)


Thanks a bunch! I'll certainly give it some thought.



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21 Jul 2016, 6:11 pm

We should attempt to have as diversified a group of people as possible.

People who are engineers.
People who are artists.
People who have "weird" Special Interests
People who can only communicate via Augmentative Communication Devices or computers
People who have overcome social anxiety and are able to give speeches (e.g., Temple Grandin)

Varying functioning levels, too.



Mosborn
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21 Jul 2016, 10:44 pm

I used to have a terrible time with "How are you?" My mind would race over many topics I had recently been thinking about, I'd try to evaluate my current states of emotion, finances, health, employment, etc., and frantically search for a concise answer to such a broad question while trying to determine how sincere the person who asked the question was. I'd get anxious and my hands would flap. Sometimes I would actually try to tell them how I was.

Then one day a friend of mine told me, "Just say 'Fine.'"

That saved me lot of trouble.

Since then I've found some benefit to considering a great deal, if not most, of what NTs say to be simple idioms, and I can easily deal with them on that basis.

Most of the time, when an NT asks "How are you?" she does not mean "Summarize your current life-state." Instead, "How are you?" is usually idiomatic expression meaning, "I recognize your presence in my immediate vicinity and I wish you no harm." The reply "Fine," means "I also recognize you in a benign way." It's not ordinarily meant to be a complete physiological and psychological report.



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22 Jul 2016, 12:48 am

I hate it when somebody asks, "Any plans for the weekend?" I feel like telling them that I'm going to stay home and work on my crafts.


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