No Meaning

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This is the second time today that I've posted a "sob story" on WP, which is really unlike me. I just don't have anyone offline who will understand me.

I quit school a few days ago because school was so stressful for me. I used to get bullied terribly and I started having frequent meltdowns. It really depresses me because I feel like I've gotten worse rather than improved. I know that I was born with Asperger's, but I don't have it severley so I start to feel guilty. I see people who seem worse off than me and I wonder why I can't function better than I am functioning. I don't believe that I am better than anyone but sometimes I feel guilty because I think I'm not trying hard enough or something. My parent's do not help either. My step-dad wants me to be normal and he says I hit myself to get my way. They called me a spoiled brat a few days ago and kicked me out. I just don't think they understand how it feels for me to be angry; I never know what to do.

Anyways, I have been feeling depressed and I can't really seem to find a purpose to life. That's what is making me so distressed.

Go back to school! Give yourself the chance to have a good life!

You're 17 right? You must have been almost finished school, and if you complete school you will have a much brighter future. It might be hard but it always is for aspies; I believe life is like swimming in the ocean - if you give up, you drown, so you've got to keep going so long as your limbs keep working (for some aspies, they might not have limbs, so they look for alternative modes of transport such as boats).

As far as your family kicking you out, that is really really worrying. Have you sat down with them and discussed things in a rational manner? It seems very extreme for them to kick you out of the house.

The worst part is that I can't go back. Once you drop out of my school you can't enroll again. I do have a plan though; I'm going to get my GED and try to go to a tech school. I'm hoping this will work out but I don't know.

They kicked me out just because they were irritated with me. It's not like I did something wrong. I tried to have a rational conversation with my mother and things are okay for now. I guess things are looking better than I thought they were.

I forgot to mention that my parents let me move back in. It just worries me because I don't want it to happen again.