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Scoots5012
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12 Feb 2006, 9:28 pm

Thursday afternoon - 4:35pm: I'm at the final staff meeting for the TV show I'm working on as part of my lab credits. The shows producer says to all of us - "Meet at my house on sunday night at 8pm, were gonna watch the final episode from last semester and discuss somethings"

I hang around a bit and offer a few suggestions, I then close things out by saying "I gotta get to class now, see you sunday at 8pm."

To which he replied "See you sunday at 8"

So now if I'm not mistaken, concenseus was made between the two of us to meet at his house at 8pm sunday, am I not right?

Sunday night - 7:55pm: I make my way over to his house and proceed to knock on the door. I feel like I'm walking in no man's land. I knock on the door and one of his roomates, who is another producer of the same show answers. He's not home, and from what his roomate told me, esentially he canceled the meeting and told no one, yet no one else showed up at his house......

So anyways, I'm confused now. He called for a meeting, and no one showed up. The meeting was canceled, and he told no one, yet no one showed up.

Did I miss something here? Was there something in the tone of his voice that implied his notion for a sunday get together was nothing more than an idle after thought to be ignored? Did everybody just forget about it? Or was this some plot to make me look like a fool?


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Aspie1
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12 Feb 2006, 11:13 pm

Sorry to break it to you like this, but I'm under the impression is that he (the guy who invited you) told everyone but you that it was cancelled. I'm guessing that when he said "see you Sunday at 8", he meant it as a idle statement, rather than an invitation. So when it was cancelled, he assumed you weren't coming, so he didn't bother to tell you.

For the future, here's what I recommend. Do NOT mention this unfortunate incident. It might make it look like you "feel for it", which as we all know, you didn't; it was an honest mistake. However, next time he makes a group invitation like this, be specific ask: "Can I come?" That will force him to say yes or no, which should be a lot more clear.



Civet
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13 Feb 2006, 8:17 am

I doesn't sound to me like he was just saying it idley, if the conversation took place exactly as Scoots described, it seems like it was well established that they'd be meeting at that time, with a specific set of objectives to accomplish.

It's more likely they just didn't tell you the meeting was cancelled, in my opinion. This could be out of malice, out of forgetfulness, or simply because they weren't able to reach you. It's really hard to say without more information.



NeantHumain
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13 Feb 2006, 11:21 am

It's often a good idea to call an hour or a day before a fairly casual meeting to see if it's still on and they haven't forgotten.



TuDoDude
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13 Feb 2006, 1:33 pm

Based on the information provided it seems highly unlikely that he did not tell anyone else or at least one other person would have accidently shown up as well. As with many NTs life seems to revolve around a need to know basis (or has been my casual observation). Sunday night is a good excuse to not attend such an informal meeting (going to church, etc.) whether you go or not. To each his own but I would try to avoid such informal meetings that is part of a larger social game.

Scoots5012 wrote:
Thursday afternoon - 4:35pm: I'm at the final staff meeting for the TV show I'm working on as part of my lab credits. The shows producer says to all of us - "Meet at my house on sunday night at 8pm, were gonna watch the final episode from last semester and discuss somethings"

I hang around a bit and offer a few suggestions, I then close things out by saying "I gotta get to class now, see you sunday at 8pm."

To which he replied "See you sunday at 8"

So now if I'm not mistaken, concenseus was made between the two of us to meet at his house at 8pm sunday, am I not right?

Sunday night - 7:55pm: I make my way over to his house and proceed to knock on the door. I feel like I'm walking in no man's land. I knock on the door and one of his roomates, who is another producer of the same show answers. He's not home, and from what his roomate told me, esentially he canceled the meeting and told no one, yet no one else showed up at his house......

So anyways, I'm confused now. He called for a meeting, and no one showed up. The meeting was canceled, and he told no one, yet no one showed up.

Did I miss something here? Was there something in the tone of his voice that implied his notion for a sunday get together was nothing more than an idle after thought to be ignored? Did everybody just forget about it? Or was this some plot to make me look like a fool?



DadoSam
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13 Feb 2006, 3:37 pm

You really can't go wrong by assuming positive intent. Some people are just absent minded. He probably just forgot to call you. I wouldn't shy away from asking this person what happened but just try to do it in a very positive way.

Just keep it light by saying something like, "sorry I missed you Sunday night...I must have had the time wrong". That gives the other person a chance to realize they made a mistake by forgetting to call you and apologize.

In any case, I'm sure it was an honest mistake.



mikibacsi1124
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13 Feb 2006, 4:05 pm

I would have to agree with the people who are saying that he did expect you to be there, and that he probably just forgot or was unable to reach you about the cancellations. Although, I guess I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't have gotten a little paranoid in that situation.



Scoots5012
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13 Feb 2006, 6:49 pm

mikibacsi1124 wrote:
Although, I guess I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't have gotten a little paranoid in that situation.


Ha! I know where your coming from on this one. Walking back to my dorm I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head, the most bizzare of which was that everyone WAS there, saw me coming and hid someplace to make it seem like I was the only one to show up.


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