Learning Social Skills from the Tube?

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I had a sociology professor who said the best way to identify unwritten social rules is to break them. Anytime that happens there is some form of social backlash, from simple gossip to direct confrontation. What if we had the chance to watch someone break every unwritten rule that's been made? We'll see what not to do, and although we'll know many of them, others might not be so obvious at first.

On Curb Your Enthusiasm, I noticed I had broken a few of the rules brought up. It's just ironic. I never would have thought of a comedy show as an effective teaching tool for social skills, but it fits. You see this guy break social rules, he gets backlash for it, and you learn. When I was younger, this could have been very useful, as a lot of the rules brought up on this show, I learned by breaking them myself.

For older Aspies, the show might not teach so much, because we've already learned most of the rules by breaking them. For younger Aspies, it might be very useful at teaching them without generating all the anxiety problems I've had to face. I'm really interested in hearing opinions on this.

"Seinfeld" which Larry David created was all about making fun of social rules like the third date rule etc.

It's funny, but I think these shows could really be useful at teaching social skills to younger individuals with Asperger's Syndrome and HFA. Then again, I think that primarily because these shows address the social rules in the first place, and they cover so many of them at once it's getting close to becoming a textbook.

I agree actually and have often thought the same thing. What's especially good about Curb Your Enthusiasm is he has plenty of people around to tell him exactly what he did wrong. I've read that George Costanza on Seinfeld is based on Larry David.

I think television can definitely be a helpful tool in learning social expectations. I think most of what I know is based on lessons I have learned from tv. (to give my parents credit, they often taught the same lessons, but on tv I could see the lessons carried out and the results)

I think this learning is both a help and a hinderance however. I think it made me a better friend to the people around me. I do all the things I have learned that a friend should do, I just don't have any of the expected emotions behind the actions. I do them because I have learned what people desire/expect from a friend. The same goes for familial relationships.

The hinderance factor impacts me more than them. I have never had a deep relationship because (I think) I have such a high expectation of what a true friendship is. The ideal in my head (an ideal I picked up from the unreasonably altruistic friendships on televeision) is very nearly unattainable. I have no need for shallow relationships and unfortunately friendships don't start out deep.

The thing is, for instance, I am flirting challenged and heaven knows I've observed it enough on TV and in movies, but I still can't do it. It's just not me and I would always feel awkward even if I knew exactly what to do. It doesn't matter now anyway, but it's something I've thought about.

Although intellectually I knew Kramer was from another planet, he is the one that I identified with the most on Seinfeld.

That's what I would probably be like without my (perhaps limited) 'adjustment' skills.

However............he may be more or less EXACTLY how I do appear to NTs


Was his 'condition' ever discussed (at any level) during the series?

I agree. I feel like watching sitcoms is how i learned most of the social skills i actually have. Plus, most comedy shows either have a laugh track or an audience that laughs when something is supposed to be funny, which i think can help sometimes with recognizing jokes... I mean, it's easier to get the joke when they're basically coming out and signaling that it is a joke in the first place. Sort of like humor-recognition "training wheels," it helps you to interpret what they really mean so that you can focus on how what they said could be funny and use the things you hear there to better recognize what people mean as humor in real-life situations.

I advise against it.

TV has a lot of exaggerated behavior and frankly they do things that just are not appropriate in polite society, but it passes for "drama."

I grew up modeling my interaction skills with others based on what I saw in TV. Trust me...it failed badly, and I never knew why because it worked on TV so why not in the real world?

The comedy shows should be used to model what NOT to do, rather than what to do. What not to do seems to be a bit more universal than what's acceptable.

I've been told to watch soaps for pickup skills.

CowboyFromHell wrote:

Pick up skills maybe. I haven't watched soap operas in many many years but they are not known for depicting people with conflict resolving skills. Otherwise there would be no show.