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17 Oct 2009, 7:08 pm

when someone is laughing at you or when someone is laughing with you or doing the "I can't believe she said that" laughter or embarrassment laughter or laughing as in something being cute or funny?

I can't tell nor can my husband, he says he can sometimes and my mom claims she can tell the difference because "she doesn't have Asperger's" but she wouldn't exactly tell me how she knows. he said it was all complicated and confusing. I assume when she said it is confusing she meant it's confusing for me.

So do normal people tell the difference or no? I recall seeing some people on here claiming they don't know if someone is laughing at them or not. With me I don't really care but I always wonder what did I do to make them laugh or why are they laughing. My mom told me the laughter I got at my wedding when I said about my aunt and uncle being cheap but aren't cheap enough to not get us a wedding gift was a "OMG I can't believe she said that" laughter.



Tim_Tex
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17 Oct 2009, 7:10 pm

I think I can tell.


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17 Oct 2009, 7:21 pm

Well, yeah, most of the time I can tell. I think...


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burro43
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17 Oct 2009, 7:27 pm

Before I learned to pretend to be telling lots of jokes, they were laughing at me; now that I am usually pretending to tell jokes, I can't tell. :D



EngishForAliens
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17 Oct 2009, 7:53 pm

Often confused about this, I automatically assume they are laughing at me until I see any evidence otherwise.



Ruchard
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17 Oct 2009, 8:37 pm

I can't not tell



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17 Oct 2009, 9:09 pm

nope not really, sorta like a blurry painting, cant see any meaning behind either and become so confused prob why i get upset easily someti,es.


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polymathpoolplayer
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17 Oct 2009, 9:20 pm

I can only tell if after they laugh they share a specific reason why they laughed. Other than that I assume they are laughing at me (I have thin skin too - in my perfect world the only time "I" want to be referred to at all is if they hero-worship me or want to go out with me - other than that I would rather be invisible.)



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17 Oct 2009, 9:53 pm

I can't tell you how many times I find myself asking people "What's so funny?" Usually they say "Never mind". Apparently I have a knack for making people laugh without trying to.



17 Oct 2009, 10:30 pm

I always assume I said something funny or cute when people laugh. Sometimes I think they thought I was joking when I wasn't.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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17 Oct 2009, 10:54 pm

One thing that really confuses me is when someone is looking straight ahead and smiling. I've seen that a lot and I don't know what it means or what they are smiling at or if it has anything at all to do with me or something they are thinking about or what. I have no clue. I see one lady that does that but I don't know if she does this all the time, with others, because I only saw her twice for about a minute of smiling each time, but, she had the same smile each time and I remember it vividly because I wondered what it meant and if it had anything to do with me. Usually when I see the "smiling at nothing" I pretend like it doesn't have anything to do with me and ignore it even if I think it does because if I convince myself it does I will get aggravated by it.
So much for the smile @ nothing.
Now, onto the laughter...if there is laughter, a look at me, more laughter, a look down corresponding with the toning down of the laughter to a smirk, I assume they are laughing at me, especially if it's two or more people and one looks at me and the others look like they are stifling the desire to look my way and their faces look all tense and stuff. Then I get paranoid and think they are all laughing at me in a way that's ridiculing and that sometimes pisses me off, depends on my mood.
If I say nothing and they look at me laugh, look down, then smirk I assume it's at me. Yes, I get laughed at a lot so I have the routine down pat.
If they laugh after something I said it's probably them laughing with me if I laugh too, or it can be them laughing at something I said which is sorta like them laughing at me.
I feel, a lot of the time, normal people have more control over the situation than I do.
So, the truth is, I often cannot tell exactly what people are laughing at unless they make it very obvious and when I've asked before I have gotten replies like "oh, nothing" so, that could mean they are laughing at me. I don't know if people without AS can tell or not but I bet they can.



matt
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17 Oct 2009, 11:33 pm

I can't tell if someone is laughing at me or with me or if they're doing a fake laugh because they think I was trying to make them laugh.



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17 Oct 2009, 11:45 pm

I used to not be able to tell if someone was laughing at me or with me (unless they had a real Bwah Hah Hah Hah evil laugh when laughing at me - then it was pretty obvious).

What makes matters more difficult though - is sometimes the laughter is a combination of both!! Someone can have an "OMG I can't believe she said that!" laugh and be genuinely chuckling at something I say at the same time. Sometimes people laugh with me and at me at the same time.



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18 Oct 2009, 12:38 am

not really I can't tell. I always wonder about this actually because I also have a tendancy to make people laugh without trying. The more I try the less they laugh actually. But when this happens, I always wonder if the laugh is with me or at me.



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18 Oct 2009, 12:43 am

I really have no interest in knowing the cause or the difference.
If they are laughing with me then fine.
If they are laughing at me then fine.
If they are laughing inspite of me then that's fine as well.
Perhaps I am too self-absorbed to care.



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18 Oct 2009, 12:43 am

I really have no interest in knowing the cause or the difference.
If they are laughing with me then fine.
If they are laughing at me then fine.
If they are laughing inspite of me then that's fine as well.
Perhaps I am too self-absorbed to care.