addiction to hitting

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Beware Sorta Gross Thread About SIB...

so i never ever knew SIB(self injurious behaviors) disorder is not a given for all autistics, i thought all autistics did it no matter what, well anyways i have that disorder, i didnt know, and it has become addicting to do. I get sorta pleasure outa slamming my head into the computer, against concrete, almost through a window, onto the floor, etc that it has becoming extremely addicting. When i was growing up i hit my head against anything, didnt matter, even found glass bottles( i can remember at age 4 or 5, i found a wine bottle was my fav color grabbed it stored it in my room to stare at, came in hours later and started slamming my head against it, idk kinda weird thinkin about it now and how i guess it slowly added to my addiction now), i would punch my sides my head, my chest, my legs, my lips(i use to punch my lips nonstop to taste blood) etc. I did it even if i tripped, if i fell, if i couldnt do a task right, if it itched, if it tingled, if i was angry, if i started getting bored, if i needed that stimulation, all types of reasons, or even if something else would trigger it, for example the other day smelled some bad odor and started punching my head falling to the ground nonstop, then i had a mini siezure. I noticed my SIBs got worse more and more, i now am started to punch my face and slap my face, punch my jaw, slam my fist into my lips, hit my head so hard with my fist that i would punch parts of my scalp off not so much to notice but got the remains of skin on my knuckles. I noticed I'm becoming addicted to all of this, i'm craving this stimulation alll the time, and if i get a bruise i punch or push on it more to feel tha pain. My hand has been even more deformed lately that ppl are noticing how badly im biting(had ppl grab my hands and say please stop biting urself), i recently tried working on that because my knuckles, hands, and fingers were all bruised, red, huge scabs, very dry skin, that it was bad, i'm doing better tho with that now, still bite, but not as hard, idk if its because im resulting to my chewing toys more idk, but hopefully i stop doing that .

Either way, i'm wondering if there is anybody out there who is addicted to hitting and doing self injurious behaviors? where you punch yourself or headbang so hard u feel water going through your head, and you just continue on and on until somebody either redirects you or you pass out, or you just fall asleep wearing urself out from self injuring? just want to see if there are other autisitcs out there who have similiar experiences, and im sorry this sounds like a pity thread its not actually its more of a is there anybody else going through this kinda thread, my life has become all about this lately . If you have any advice also, love to hear it too!

I don't have this problem. I get very queasy at the thought of inflicting physical pain on myself. I'm a big Nancy in that regard .

Have you tried video games? They can help to divert your attention and channel excess energy. They can also help relieve feelings of frustration.

Not to anything like such a high degree, but a little. I used to like punching myself/things and headbutting things. Still do a bit but not when there's anyone around. I find punching myself really hard in the side of the head (enough that it hurts a lot) as a way to break myself out of angry behaviour, but it upsets and annoys people so I don't do it if there's anyone there.
My hands and feet are somewhat scarred from the "more normal" abuse I put them through.

I've never done this, so I wouldn't have any advice for you. The closest thing I've done is pinching/picking at my skin periodically. Now that I think about it, though, I do tend to press on my bruises a lot. That's something I've never consciously thought about before, that's why I like these forums.

There's gotta be some other way to get this kind of stimulation. Bruises are pretty harmless, sure, but eventually you could damage an eye or get a concussion, and that's not harmless.

While you figure this out, I think I would recommend taking steps so that you can't hurt yourself badly. Maybe gloves or a hat/helmet?--something between hand and head, anyway, so that when you do hit yourself, it won't create major injury by accident...

OK, so you're doing this for the feeling? I get that... lots of things that are technically painful don't feel bad to me, and I'm guessing it's the same for you. So this is probably something like any other stim, that you can maybe re-direct to something else that has the same function. I remember you talking about liking pressure on other threads (thought about wearing a weighted vest, maybe?). If you like the feedback about where exactly you are and how you're moving, maybe that would be a solution. Intense sensations can be had from other, non-injury sources... brainstorm a bit... what other kinds of intense stuff do you like?

Maybe there's a safe way to hit yourself, when you have to, of course you mightn't get the same net benefit from it. I used to bounce my head off the pillow when I was a kid--totally harmless, way better than bouncing it off the wooden arm of the family's couch.

Also you should check to see whether you're getting overloaded by sensory stuff or having to interact with people or unexpected things; maybe some of those can be removed, if this is a stress reaction. For that matter, maybe you're using it to cope with some new psychological thing (depression, anxiety, etc.) we all use our old bad habits to try to deal with new bad stuff, after all.

Good luck, I hope you figure this out.

At the very least, try to avoid giving yourself brain damage. I like reading your posts .

i have problem with headbanging too but i only do this when upset etc so im not sure is it SIB,grouphome staff offcourse tryes to prevent me to not to do it

I aree about this. I've had one instance of self injuring that went too far and it took years before I was in an emotional position to dare having a doctor putting it right (not yet ready to talk about it here) .. (It was after my parets died, in itself not too dramatic, natural causes and they died one year apart.)

I keep having this image of my mind as being the dough from which you make toffee I imagine a person making toffee and stirring a big pot of it. Then they pull out the stick they are stirring it with and it is covered in this large chunk of brownish super sticky toffee-to-be I feel my mind is like that. Anything will stick to it. It almost doesn't even have to touch it ...

well, i feel in my own case i simply can't be too careful in trying to avoid overload. Sensory, emotional and I know not what ... And if I'm too overloaded i have to work work really really hard for a pretty long time to even begin to come out of it. Normally heavy intense stimming is enough. But if it isn't I start to bite and hit myself alot.

So, I guess that's my thought and advice .. Try to imagine what is causing an overload and try to avoid it. I feel in my own case I have to almost picture my life as a tiny cosy den of some really small and scared animal and then what would make that little rabbit (or something) feel less vulnerable .. scared. What would make him feel more safe .. (not sure what of my feelings of vulnerablility is due to autism and what is because of parents' lack of parenting .. ) (both pretty real)

Not sure this is anything to do with your issues .. Just my personal experience.

Maybe another thought is to think of and treat your SIB as any other addiction .. maybe something like AA might be helpful .. I have had real big help of it, myself (AA books). Trying to learn trust and faith and stuff ..

I do this when I have serious meltdowns. When I'm in a distressed state, I crave pain. Don't know why, though... I guess it helps me calm down, because I begin to undestand that there are limits and that I need to stop before I hurt myself very badly. I also hurt myself so that I don't break too many things around me in an explosion of violence. It's a way of redirecting violent physical energy.

I use to bite my hands too, and have punched and kicked things during meltdowns.

thank you everybody for replying!! and for the advice!! I have used gloves, helmets, nothing has worked jus overstimulated me more, its weird i didnt notice until i found out i think two weeks ago when i did horseback riding therapy for autistics and the helmet overstimulated me and realized this happens everything i wear a hooddies, or hat, or my hair blows in the wind dangling over my forehead i get overstimulated dont ask why haha. For gloves same thing, also ill chew and eat the gloves haha and if i cant rub my keyboard due to teh gloves ill freak out. I dont have any added stress, idk why but im always stuck in the moment, so if i dont get upset for osmehting its already over in like 2 mins and i move on lol, so i dont get depressed either.

i dont know what u mean callista by intense stuff, if you coupld please go more into detail if that is ok with u? when i hit myself i need it to be painful, or against a hard object unforunely. my hitting can be anywhere anytime any place from anything, so i dont think anything triggers it either. i wish i could avoid it too, its something that now has become my life daily. either way thanks everybody again for replying! it means a lot to me.

Heh, well, I've gotten fond of hot peppers, for one. I've also done the "falling backwards onto your bed" thing--the sensation of falling. Also, fairly intense exercise. Video games. Scary TV shows. Oddly enough, logic puzzles and research (I guess mental intensity has the same effect--naturally one can't do it when overloaded but it seems to actually prevent it... maybe that's a special interest thing?) Learned from a self-injury recovery group--snapping a rubber band against your skin (but that does cause minor injury)... Wrapping myself very, very tightly into a blanket... jumping up and down, on a trampoline or just normally on the floor... singing or playing music loudly. Swimming. Going outside and feeling the wind on my skin...

Don't know if that helps you any, because our sensory systems are probably really different (some of those might be highly unpleasant to you), but maybe you have things of your own like this.

wow great ideas callista!! ! ive done the rubber band thing i jus ate it, and played with it instead, never done the falling back on the bed though gotta try that. i play wii fit plus a lot every other day to help keep me exercised and take 3-8mile walks depends on the weather how long every other day also, and i hate video games, jus do the fitness section to help, which is hard. i dont get scared of anything either lol, i love horror movies too, lately im not interested anymore in tv, or movies when i do watch it need to be constantly reminded and redirected to stay seated. I wraped myselftightly in blankets all the time use to do more as a child, would call it being in a taco lol, it doesnt stop the behaviors tho i isntead do it while be wrapped i slam my body against the ground. trampoline helps when too energenic not with sibs unforutnely either. going outside def helps with the wind, if i didnt have freaking cold utercaria or siezures due to the heat would be good lol, im very unlucky when it coems to that hahaha. cnat swim really good either, and just found out recently im allergic to water thanks to an older post haha. im def going to try the fallin back in bed, and hot peppers, that might help a lot, thanks callista although we have different sensory systems u still help a ton hehe

I bite myself/suck my fingers and on my skin quite often, and I love the way my braces graze my skin it feels really nice which is probably only helping encourage me to bite/suck on my skin but I don't do it to where I bleed unless I get so into it and I don't realize I am doing it until I taste blood.

one family member disouraged me from headbanging by telling me that (she used something she knew would really upset me) if I did that a kitten would get really sick and die but if I did not and did something else that I would save the cats life (I was six, and I really believed said relative, turns out she was lying.. but still I have never headbanged since.)

However, I pick at my face excessively and have scars, and such. It really bothers my mom but she can't stop me from doing it cause I do it at the oddest times, generally when I am very stressed (besides rocking/spinning/sucking/biting... and picking at my face.) I can't stop doing that for some odd reason.

I wish I had some advice, but I don't even know how to help myself in this area. :/

its okay, i hope u fix ur behaviors as well, i dont understand my emotions so kittens wouldnt help me either hehe, and when i had braces i used them to take off layers of skin too haha ur not alone, either way good luck in all u do!

Does swinging or spinning in a chair help?

I agree with whoever said about getting a helmet. It sounds like that's necessary. What do you think of that?