Extended periods of inertia, introspection and unfocused.

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Just wondering if anyone else goes through periods like this?

It is not a "state of quiet" per se (although that is what I am trying to achieve) more a time to let my mind be a "code breaker".....just a time to let it go. Random, frenzied(coupled with stillness), magical, daydreaming, powerful and so on......

Usually when I get my best ideas or epiphanies......but is not a time for decision making, seeing people(which is most of the time), learning new information, answering the phone or cleaning the house.

And once I am in this period of time, I cannot pull myself out of it. And if I try, I cause myself great distress. It is like poking a hibernating bear with big stick. It does pass though......it is in flux.

Can anyone else try and explain what I am trying to say?

And if you can understand, KUDOS!! !!

Mics

I think I'm going through something like that now. I was kicking ass a few months ago at work and my side project and at home and then... it all fizzled out. I never quite know what to do about it.

I'm not sure if I ever have times that are not like that.

i sometimes go through a sort of completely painful inertia (where i just bury myself in puzzles or games, etc., and nothing gets done.)

but i think what you're talking about is more like a part of a creative process. often when i'm in writing-stories mode (when NOT depressed---depression often kills that urge), i have to go through long periods of quiet first. it's a time to just sort of move myself from every-day life into the life of writing, of the characters, of the story itself. i'm not quite in active writing during that time, but it seems like a necessary transition. it's like a waiting period for my story to "start talking" to me again.

it's a time to "cycle down" from all the hurry, the hustle-bustle of my thoughts, stimuli overload, etc., and get to the place where my interest becomes productive. things percolate. then i can start shaping them more fully on paper.

i don't know if that's what you mean or not, but it sounds to me that you're lucky to go through that on a regular basis. i've been absent from it for a long time (chaos instead.) it's kind of painful to be away from it.

Good one........I hear you.

Mics

Yep, I get what you are saying........this cycle can change within a day, a week, an hour. Its only pattern is that it is inevitable, all-consuming and timely. Let me try and explain, which is exhausting in itself.

It is the time when I do hours of algebra, clean grout in tiles with a toothbrush, put things in piles in lines, knit, watch Spongebob Squarepants, wander around, stare at the sky, think of complex astrophysics, stare at my suncatchers, pretend I live in space, blow bubbles and the like. And occasionally I will come out of it to make decisions, pay bills, clean the bathroom(not just the grout) and basically behave like a functioning adult It sounds great(and it is) but is a struggle because I can get very angry if people interrupt this process. I covert it. I may be reverting/avoiding/completing/rejuvinating.......not sure. It is like my mind, after all these years of fierce control to be "normal", is finally letting go. It is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. Time also gets distorted in these periods. I am extremely vulnerable at this time due to the lack of perception of my environment due to the internal nature of it. I need to feel safe while doing it.

It is difficult when you have family, children, job especially. And yes, thank you...... Creative is exactly what it is although I have never considered myself creative.

I hope a period of time comes for you soon......where you can get back to your roots. Now that I have started embracing it, you would have to pry it from my cold, dead hands .

Take care, I do understand the chaos.......but for me the chaos arises when I HAVE to think about things/people/life.

Mics

Wayne,

One of my favourite quotes......

"To make sense of a muddy world, let it be still until it becomes clear" Taoist proverb....

Don't know if that makes sense to you, but I love the way it sounds when I say it. And I always imagine this swirling, muddy mixture slowly losing momentum until all the mud settles at the bottom......and clear, still water is left behind. AAhhhh lovely

Like all things in flux, your focus shall return.

Mics

This is a good topic, and timely, too. I am currently in that space, where I can't seem to work on my 2 novels, or my money raising project. I just wander around, cleaning stuff, talking to myself, and feeling out of sync. My muse seems to be on hiatus. It makes me think of a scene in that old movie, "The African Queen," where Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart are traveling on a boat that hits stagnant, slow moving water, full of leeches. After enduring days of the becalmed phase, they start moving again, and then hit clear, fast moving water, and then, rapids.

I go through exactly what you are describing, every single day. It usually happens when I have a free period, like when I'm not doing anything for 20 minutes at a time. Occaisonally, I get so wrapped up in that state that I withdraw from the world for days on end. I've been trying to make it less frequent, but it will never go away. I don't want it too, either. I just don't want it so often that it ruins my life.

thank you, Michista. i hope so too.

it is really lovely---it sounds that way. it sounds like the freedom just to be.

Ugh, I'm going through a period of time like that myself. It feels like my brain is burned out; that I used it too much for too long and it wants to rest. I have ZERO motivation to do anything besides surfing the internet.

I run only once or twice a day, as opposed to 3 to 5 times like I normally do. I've sketched about 3 or 4 pictures in 2 months, which is an all-time low compared to my usual productivity of 1 picture per every two or three days. I do chores only about once a week, compared to when I did them everyday a couple weeks ago. I also skip showers, once even going 3 days in a row between bathings. My room is a terrible mess because I hate cleaning it so much.

And the worst part of it is, I have no life. No job and no college. What little productivity I did have is completely gone, and I feel totally useless, lazy and gross. I just know that one of these days I'll start feeling better and wanting to accomplish more in my day, but right now I'm just not feeling it.

Oh and by the way, I'm not depressed. The opposite, actually - I'm really cheerful. The problem is, my brain feels numb and exhausted, like all I want to do is relax (even though I don't do anything stressful to begin with).

this is a description of a typical day for me. I am lower functioning probably than I have ever been. I really have a hard time with transitions and my parents really should have named me "Inertia", it would have been perfect. I was going to start a thread about this, I have to spend hours a day just staring into space and thinking. It's my main activity.

Great analogy, Hartz. Great movie too.

Thanks, cosmiccat!

That's a very common state for me. And I also get my best ideals at those times.

I can relate to this.

In my periods of inertia, I can get lost in diabolical killersudokus as though the Universe depended on my solving it!

Lots of introspection too.

Then all of a sudden, with no warning, I am locked into my work, my family, or whatever else it is that really IS important, with the most unshakeable focus.

Isn't Asperger's wonderful!