What do I do with my purse??

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Nearly everybody I have ever hung out with have criticized about how "unsafe" my handbag is, and how I get money out of my purse.

My mum says it's best I have a handbag that goes across me, not just on one shoulder, because apparently it's more safer. So I brought one that goes across me, not too big, just the right size where I can find everything inside it without having to rummage.

Then when the small handbag broke, I saw a bigger handbag half-price, so I brought that. When my boyfriend saw it, he said "that one is better than the small one, anyone could easily of grabbed the small one and run off with it far easily than they could the bigger one."

Now with the bigger handbag it has less compartments and it's much harder to find my purse, even though my purse is quite big. Then I got criticized for rummaging too long in my bag for my purse. So then I started putting my money in my pocket, but then my friend said "watch out for pocket thieves, anyone could unzip that and run off with your money."

I've noticed that many people keep their money in their pockets, and one of my friends even has a handbag with no zip and her purse is showing, and that is far easier for a thief to just slip their hand in and run off with her purse without anyone noticing, than it is for me when I always have things zipped up.

But I can't win. I'm supposed to have a big bag what goes across me, with my purse hidden at the bottom, but I mustn't diver in shops when trying to get my purse out, but I've also been told not to hold my purse outside my handbag in case somebody snatches it out of my hands, but I mustn't have my money in my pockets...
I know people are only trying to help but it makes me feel so patronized. How safe can my cash be then, unless I walk around with a chain padlocked around my bag so that it takes even longer for me to access my own bag and purse, let alone anyone else. I don't see anybody else doing that.

Having a zipper top to the handbag and having it slung crosswise are both good anti- theft moves. So how to make your money accessible? Look on the inside of the handbag for a zip pocket near the top for cash. Or get a bag that has one of those. The zip pocket needs to be on the inside and near the top.

If you have sewing skills you can add your own.

http://craftpassion.com/2010/04/sewing-tutorial-internal-zipper-pocket-for-bag.html

I keep money in the pockets of my trousers, which might be unsafe with some types of pocket, but I always make sure they're a fairly secure type, i.e. reasonably deep and not prone to allow stuff to fall out when I'm sitting down. I avoid baggy trousers, which helps to keep the money from moving about and also makes it more difficult for anybody to pick my pockets without my being able to feel that happening. And I'm rather paranoid about being robbed, so I tend to be aware when strangers are in a position to do that. It helps that I don't like being near to strangers too. If I wear a jacket, I might put money in the inside pocket. I also tend to dress fairly simply, so I don't seem like the type who would have wads of cash. These days nearly all my transactions are via debit card anyway, which is a lot safer, but back in the day I used to carry up to £250 in cash, and never lost it.

Blimey, sounds like my dad. He says a lot of stuff like that. I've just learnt to ignore him but I feel very patronised, too, when people say this sort of thing. I just use the bag I like best and whatever is most comfortable (I hate having a strap across my body so just use one over my shoulder). I'm not saying there aren't people out there thieving handbags but I think constantly worrying about it will only make you (universal you) feel worse in the long run. (And I say this as a chronic worrier).

That's probably not very helpful but I honestly think you're fine with what you've got (but I've never been particularly worried about people stealing from me so I suppose it's not something I think about/prioritise so I could be biased in my thinking).

Anyway, I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated with the situation. I would be too.

They are just being paranoid.

I never understood why people suppose someone could steal their purse that easily.
I am using either something like this:

(wallet in the main, bigger pocket)
or something like this:

And noone even attempted to pickpocket me.

I am sensitive to touch so I feel every move of my bag. It's impossible for someone to steal anything from me as long as I am aware someone could try to pickpocket me. I always touch my bag or look at it everytime I feel someone rubbing it (like when someone walks past me and touches it accidentally) to check if it is fine.

I had my wallet stolen once but it was still in middle school when I was young and naive.

I was bullied badly then so when I felt someone rubbing my backpack repeatedly as I was walking the school hall I supposed someone is just trying to put something in it or stick something to it like they always did so I just acted as if a fly was bothering me. I already knew the best way to deal with bullies is ignoring them.
Then suddenly I felt the side pocket being unzipped and I felt something was taken out of it. I took my backpack off fast, realized the pocket I kept my wallet in is wide open and my wallet is gone and a few years younger, unknown kid(not one of my known bullies) is escaping through the hall. So I dropped my heavy backpack(nothing valuable - just schoolbooks in it) and run after the guy. I caught him right behind next corner(I was a fast runner because I often had to escape from bullies), told him to return my pocket right away and when he refused by saying it is his pocket (yeah, right... was he dumb?) I took him to the principal office.
In the end I got my wallet back and he received some help from the principal because we discovered he did is because he was poor and hungry.

Since then I learned not to keep my wallet in side pocket and to always check when I feel my backpack/bag being rubbed.

I use a large bag that goes across me too; the reasoning behind one whose strap goes across you is that it's not so easy for a thief to pull off your body as one that just hangs on one shoulder and just needs to be pulled off that one arm.

My bag is deep and my money purse is right at the bottom, so I guess sometimes there is rummaging involved at the checkout, but nobody has ever been annoyed about it.

To be honest, I wouldn't worry about anyone complaining that you're doing too much rummaging to retrieve your purse -- it's better that it's hard to find in there than easy for a pickpocket to slip it out in one smooth movement.

If you can't locate it in one smooth movement then even a skilled pickpocket will have to rummage too, and get caught. So it's almost better that it's hard to locate in there.

It's also a good idea to have the bag zipped up at the top, especially when you're in a crowded situation like a crowded mall, shop or street. Pickpockets are very practiced at targeting crowds where the general jostling makes a victim not notice that someone behind them has slipped a hand into their bag and pulled out their wallet/coin purse. These people know how to do this without you even feeling them touch you or your bag, particularly if you are in a crowded situation.

So always keep the bag zipped up, and carry it slightly forward to the front of your body rather than sticking out behind you.

These things aren't as important if you are in a relatively deserted place where it would be very clear to you that someone was behind you trying to stick their hand in your bag.

But in a busy shop or street where people are physically closer around you, the safety measures become more relevant. I live in London and pickpocketing here is rife and the people who do it are skilled. You do need to be alert in my area.

It's not about being paranoid -- it's heavily dependent on where you live and where you are.

I'd be willing to bet that the people in this thread who say that worrying about pickpockets, and feeling certain you would "feel it" if someone tried to pick your pocket, is "being paranoid," don't live in heavily populated major cities, or don't frequent very, very crowded places where most professional pickpocketing actually takes place.

As I said in my own post earlier, if you are visiting a relatively deserted or sparsely populated area where people are not physically all around you at close range, sure, there's not much to worry about, and you will certainly notice someone reaching into your pocket or bag because it will be glaringly obvious.

But you just try walking down Oxford Street, London, England, on a Saturday, or in fact any day.

Or take a journey standing packed like sardines.everyone breathing down each other's necks and jostling around in actual physical contact on a London Tube train.

And tell me then that nobody could pickpocket you without your knowing. Trust me, it actually HAPPENS, ALL the time in London, on crowded trains of standing room only and in crowded London streets or stores.

Come and be "not paranoid" here and I'll console you when you get home and find your valuables gone because you didn't think being careful mattered in MY city.

Joe90 lives in quite a busy town also, where the centre of town can have a lot of people crowding in, and shops can be crowded.

It's not paranoia to be careful with your belongings in crowded places, because it does happen. Google it if you don't believe it's a problem in urban settings.

Can they really get zippers open without someone noticing?

Maybe my zipper pockets stick more than most peoples'.

The thing is, I see more women walking around with bags over just one shoulder than I do with bags like mine.
And my bag has quite a stiff zip, where you have to hold the bag with one hand whilst you pull the zip open with the other hand, and it's impossible to creep along and undo the zip without me knowing.

But I hate strangers standing in my personal space anyway, because of social anxiety and impatience, but it's probably a good thing because I automatically move away. But I am one of those people who happens to be in somebody's way wherever I stand even when I'm looking at/for things, and it's gotten to the point where it makes me anxious. Maybe I should take advantage of that and look upon it as being one step ahead of thieves.

if you are in a high crime area, keep your money in your pocket. I've never had my purse attempted snateched except for once or twice. How many times has it happened to you? It's not that common of an occurance unless you are in certain places. If you are there and they do grab it, then snatch it back HARD and lift it over your head as you do. That should bring them to the ground. Then step on them and go to town till the cops get there. People don't steal from you if you are watching for it.

I carry a nice purse and usually my money in it, cause ain't nobody gonna f**k with me. That's basically because of how I present myself, how I walk and my vibe. But, sometimes some unlucky stupid ass Motherf***er tries and it doesn't go well. So present yourself as a serious person and not as some scared to be a victim tourist. Own the place you walk and show it.

_________________
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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

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Stop fretting. Find a bag you like, make a couple cute charms to hang on it, and go. Sometimes we do lose things.
Never carry tons of cash or credit cards. I carry only a few dollars, my ID, and my sunblock. Once you accept that
yes, it's possible to have a bag lost or grabbed and stolen, you can relax a bit. When walking in questionable
areas of town, I put my bag into a white plastic shopping bag. Another idea is a butt pack, which I used for
years. Then, it's right in front of you at all times. Best, Alice

Be sensible of course (e.g. don't carry more cash than necessary and keep your bag zipped up), but also be aware that theft, while not all that common in most places, is not always preventable (e.g. pickpockets may just cut the bottom of your bag with a knife and take the contents that way).

I would suggest that rather than trying to prevent every possible type of theft you make a plan for what you would do if your bag was stolen. Do you carry a small amount of cash in a separate pocket for emergencies? Do you keep your phone somewhere separate from your cash card? Is your bank one of those that let's you take out some emergency cash from a cash point if your card is lost so you can make some phone calls and pay for a bus home? Those kinds of questions.

Once you have a plan of what to do if the worst does happen (it probably won't), then you won'the need to worry about it so much. Stuff can always be replaced, you can even get it insured, your safety is what''s important (I wouldn'the advise getting involved in violent confrontations with muggers for the same reason).

Have you ever actually lost your money before because of your preferred style of purse? If not, I would just tell those people with their unsolicited advice to mind their own business.