I recently had a conversation with one of my friends, and she told me, as she saw it, the history of the interactions between the people in our small group of friends. She told me things that I didn't know; she told me about alliances I hadn't noticed, feelings I hadn't picked up on, even total hatred between several pairs of people that I didn't have a clue about.
All along, I'd thought we were different--that we really did accept each other as we were, without all the politicking and backstabbing of normal groups of friends; I had taken this for granted, thinking that perhaps because we were all outcasts, we might be able to realize that tolerance was the most prudent course for all of us. I certainly thought that way about them.
Now I see I was just blind and unable to read between the lines of social communication. And I realize that, unlike me, satisfied with friendships and uncaring about social prestige, many of my friends aspire to become more "popular".
Why do people not just say what they're thinking? Why do they not just tell others what they are feeling rather than holding it in and then stabbing others (figuratively) in the back? If people would be a little more "blunt and straightforward" (the description I often get of myself), rather than believing such a style of interaction is rude, the world would be a much simpler place.
It's very frustrating.
