selfishness

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I find one of the reasons I'm not as well liked as I feel I deserved to be is that a lot my actions are interpreted as selfish for example calling friends and family with a favour in mind. As I think more logic about things most of the time I need a specific reason to talk to people as I find it gives me more structure in the interaction. I wish people would sometimes understand this.

I come off as selfish too. Sometimes I don't always think of other people or I say something that makes me sound self absorbed. It's just the way I am. I only know me. Even with my friends I don't seem to be not as caring as them. I want to be, there's just nothing there.

Yea, I have been told I am selfish - or at least do not know how to share. I always thought it might be because I was an only child, but maybe it's more. I know I often see people not getting to the point - for example, they want help, they talk in a round-a-bout manner, which does not always work well for me - I do not always get it. In many cases they are left thinking I do not want to help them, but I just did not get the message. Then the asking other people for things/help- my tendency is to be 'to the point' - and I think people just do not expect this, do not know what to think of it - so they think you are being selfish maybe.

I've never been a selfish person, as far back as I can remember. It's just not in my bones.

I'm the same, I like knowing I have something to talk to. It is possible to learn to phrase things more subtly though, or have a few stock questions to ask people before you lunge in with a request for something.

Yeah, people say that about me, too.

Or they say that I'm unwilling to compromise. It's not so much that I want others to do as I want; I just won't allow others to push or even cajole me into doing things I don't want to do.

Being in a relationship...
Getting married...
Dating...
Kids...

I have friends who "get" me and like me for who I am (as opposed to in SPITE of who I am...or is it DEspite?)

Anyway, it's more co-workers who seem obsessed with my so-called "selfishness" and the fact that I won't change to meet their "needs" or demands.

You've got some who seem to think that it's selfish that I flat-out refuse to date women at work. For me, work is work...play is play...and never the twain shall meet!

Actually, I don't date at all. I do, though, hang out with a fantastic bunch of men and women playing cards till all hours of the night...and morning in some cases. And even though I do often feel lost and/or overwhelmed in conversational situations, I am completely humbled by their friendship. I also have other friends I've known for years...decades in some instances.

I can't pretend to be interested in other people's stuff if I'm really not. I tried that once, and it just came across as fake and then the other person was even more upset when she realized I was trying too hard. In another instance, I'm still processing my reasons for where I stand and why it's different from where another person's interests are. Being engaged with others' thoughts is very tiring and it gets in the way of understanding my own thoughts, so I need to spend a lot of time alone.

I totally relate to this. No one has actually said anything to me about it, but I do worry that people will think I am selfish because I do require a reason to get in touch with someone before I contact them. Often the reason is because I need something. "Hi, can you help me move house," for example. If I wasn't moving I would have no need to talk to them. I'm not gonna phone up to discuss the weather or ask what's new - In the words of 7of9: "I dislike irrelevant conversation."

I would say that I am a pretty selfish person. I do not like to share my things, and I do not usually go out of my way to help others. It becomes too mentally exhausting to go out and help others unless I am ask to.

My husband says I am but he doesn't mean it in a bad way. He knows I do my best.

my mother and sister think that i am very selfish. i just tend to keep myself to myself.

My mum is forever calling me selfish, I don't even notice anything. I guess taking time to think like the other person does just isn't in my thought process. Don't see why it should be TBH.

The richest and most successful people in the world are selfish and, more, domineering and inconsiderate to others; this has always been the case.

I guess that depends on how you define success.

Very true.

My mom is always telling me that I'm selfish, and my best friend most likely thinks so too. My biggest problems are that:
A) I get absorbed in something I wanted to do and forget that I was supposed to do something for someone else, or
B) I am completely unwilling to meet someone halfway on something I already have my mind set on.

Even I think I'm selfish.