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jojobean
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23 Feb 2010, 9:19 am

Yesterday, I had a rough day. I had taken a broom making class the last 2 days before and really pushed myself further than I should have. I wanted that broom. Btw, broom making is not for wimps...it can be best described as weaving while weightlifting because you have to keep the tension on the wire so tight while wrapping it.
Anyway, yesterday I was feeling very autistic. Very few thoughts were going through my head. I could not focus on anything and I was amuzed by the the simplest things.And I felt numb, void of any emotion whatsoever (which is usually not the case for me...I am a very emotional person and usually have more than one emotion going on at once). Plus colors were brighter than usual and sounds were more distinct. Most of the time I can pull myself out of that, but I could not. It was like everything was in slow-mo. The bad part was that I had alot to do...a house that needed some serious cleaning. My mom was about to nut up because she is allergic to mold and there was some dishes and laundry that was about to get moldy. I just could not pull myself out of it, so I went to bed very early and slept for 12 hours and I feel much better. I was not deprived of sleep yesterday as I slept 10 hours the night before last. I think I was totally worn out from the class...I have worked hard in my life from time to time, but making that broom had to have been one of the hardest things I have done...right up there with mountain climbing.

Well my question is I did not know that autism has a micro-spectrim too...as in I can go from moderate pdd to severe pdd in a day. It was kinda scary although I could not feel the fear...I felt trapped behind a glass wall and no matter how hard I pushed to regain my regular level of functioing....I was unable. My mind was in a numbing fog and not many thoughts were cirulating through my brain...not enough to even do the simplest tasks. My mom had to make a list, step by step, how to do simple chores. I felt like Donna Williams did after her crazy mother smacked her head against the wall.

Has this ever happened to anyone else???


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scorpileo
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23 Feb 2010, 10:01 am

hmm.. kind of.. i certainly have times when my traits are more prenonced usualy after high levels of stress and have 'non verbal' times where i can not sumon the will to speak.... these are the times im more likely to explode...


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jojobean
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23 Feb 2010, 11:21 am

Interesting...I did not know before that our traits can flunctuate like that. Mom always said that "there are days when the tide is in and days when the tide is out" I understand what she is saying now.

so when you cannot summon the will to speak....is it because of shyness, or feeling particularly mute for the moment? Is there stress or any event that onsets this state? I have a cousin on my dad's side that is voluntarly mute...but he is that way all the time ever since he was 12.


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scorpileo
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23 Feb 2010, 11:25 am

jojobean wrote:
Interesting...I did not know before that our traits can flunctuate like that. Mom always said that "there are days when the tide is in and days when the tide is out" I understand what she is saying now.

so when you cannot summon the will to speak....is it because of shyness, or feeling particularly mute for the moment? Is there stress or any event that onsets this state? I have a cousin on my dad's side that is voluntarly mute...but he is that way all the time ever since he was 12.


... i dont know... its like i cant and yes it is normaly caused by stress


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Asp-Z
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23 Feb 2010, 11:28 am

Everyone has "off" days. NTs included. I guess that when we have them, our traits might get a bit worse along with everything else, which makes sense since they're built into our brain.



jojobean
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23 Feb 2010, 12:49 pm

I did not know that NT's have off days?? I noticed that sometimes there are days when it seems that the planets are mis-aligned or something because everyone is having a whacked out day. I remember one day last week was like that everyone I ran into was saying they were having a crazy day...that was the same day that I put the newly opened coffee in the sugar container...and not ten mintues later I went to put bird vitamins in the bird water and I ended up putting fish food in it instead. I screamed "HELP something is wrong with me!! !!"

But I never seen an NT seeming off...what are NT off days like?


scorpelio...that is interesting. Thanks for sharing that with me. It is amazing...I never really paid attention to this "micro spectrum" within ourselves. I think it might help you though when you get like that to journal so you dont get so bottled up that you explode...all that frustration has to go somewhere.


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IdahoRose
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23 Feb 2010, 1:31 pm

There are days when I feel I'm being more "autistic" than usual - but I think that's just me being self-conscious.