A Day in the Life

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I raise clumsiness to all new levels. This morning, for instance, I spilt a full coffee all over my lap at work and had to spend 20 minutes in the washroom drying my pants off with paper towels.

Later, I got to spend 2 1/2 hours of tedious, frustrating, boredom listening to a company "state of the union" presentation where mindless motherhood statements were bandied about and one had to talk about "teamwork" and being "proactive" until you were ready to vomit.

The carrot dangled in front of everyone's eyes, was an afternoon of small talk and beer. I lasted for about 30 minutes. I think I'd welcome the another 2 1/2 hours of motherhood statements over having to make ridiculous small talk. I just don't know what to say. It's not that I don't know how I'm supposed to behave. I can see what everyone's doing, I just can't mimick that behaviour for long. So, I have my beer, make an appearance, and then duck out a side door to go back to my office and work for the rest of the day while the rest of the company is enjoying it's party.

Sound familiar? I don't know if I'm on the spectrum. My "stats" are below. I think I'm just odd rather than having AS.

I can relate to hating parties, and knowing (somewhat) how I am expected to act, but not having any desire to act that way. However, sometimes I am completely at a loss as to how to respond socially. I can relate to parties feeling like obligations.

I understand. I was fine with people I worked with as long as we were "at work". As soon as we entered into a social situation, however, I was totally at a loss. I couldnt "hang out", and I was so uncomfortable. I know people didn't understand why I avoided the Holiday potlucks and stuff like that. I would never attend the evening shindigs like the Christmas parties either. I made up excuses. People never invited me anywhere after a while, which made me feel bad because I knew they didn't understand. They probably thought I was a snob or didnt like hanging out with my coworkers, and for that I felt guilty.

When people talk about being "pro-active" I want to say: "I am not a yoghurt."

I so get what you mean.

It took me a while to realize what's really happening: NTs really don't like the laborious aspect of their jobs. They may enjoy the fact that they have careers, expertise, etc., but what they really yearn for is social acceptance. The fact that the work they do helps the world in some way is ancillary to the fact that they are approved of, and those social gatherings are a way for the work group members to compliment themselves on how important they are, while (somewhat) demeaning the value of the work itself.
I'm -- we're -- the exact opposite of that. 'The job is the score.' We love what we do, how it improves the world and ourselves. Something as ephemeral as the emotional impact of our work is not even significant next to the material improvements that we implement. We only go through the requirements of social interaction to placate the demands of the rest of the group.

A word of advice: just grin and bare it. Most people's emotional needs aren't, objectively speaking, all that much. (If they are too demanding, they're gotten-rid-of fast.) To give them their 'due', the minimum is just to find a way to get them to talk about their own work as a worthy chore. "That job you were working on was tough. Are you expecting to have to go though all that again?"
It stinks, and it's sometimes incredibly hard, but doing the social minimum is a necessity. If you don't play ball, the negative consequences will eventually add up. BTDT -- it's not pretty.