What's up with parents?

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I don't know why but my parents say they're concerned about things of my best intrest like what I do online and about who I'm talking online. I mean come on I'm 19 and I don't need them to really be into my personal business anymore. My dad and my mom say that I've gotten into my mind that not all the people who say they are on the net are who they are. Don't I know know about it since they've been shoving that done my throat all the years I've been on these forums. I've been careful enough and now they're flying off the handle about me being on dating sites. Just a few minutes ago my parents mostly my mother doing the talking fussed at me for just a simple thing. It should be my business not theirs what I do on the internet. Why should they care? Just because I'm still living in their house doesn't mean they still have the same level of parenting they can do to me. Why should it be of their concern? They're afraid that one day I'll end up in jail because of this internet. I don't believe that because I've been careful so far and nothing has happened. What should they care about who I am? Just because they say they love me doesn't mean they have to rule my life anymore. I had to cancel a membership to a dating site right before I posted this thread just because of what they said. I know it might have been a little over board but I don't think I'll be able to find some girl outside of the internet. I'm not good at meeting new people and I don't know how to go about starting a friendship or even dating at all.
Just because I got finished with one relationship doesn't mean I can't find another one. My parents know what I'm doing and they don't like it but what should they care? Of course their parents but they should know one thing that they should lay off on my personal life and what I can do.

First off, if you parents are paying the bills, then you have no choice but to follow their rules as they can cut you off. The inverse of your situation actually happened to me because one year, I earned more than my mother did and was assisting in paying the bills. As such, my mother gave me quite a bit of leeway to do what I want.

If you parents continue to give you problems, I would suggest using public computers (such as the library) or putting aside some money to get a laptop to use at places that offer WiFi access.

Other than that, there is not much you can do.

I'm using my own laptop right now but I have to use their internet connection. Since they have cable and I'm using a wireless network connection.

If you are all grown up and don't need your parent's interactions, then perhaps moving out would be your best bet. That way no one (but your wallet) can dictate what you can and cannot do.

Until that happens, you pretty much need to deal with it. It is your parent's home, and will be after you leave it. They don't want trouble there, and even the most cautious among us can inadvertently invite trouble through the internet.

Keep in mind that to your parents, you will be their child until the day they die. No matter how old you grow to become. My oldest kids are 24 and 25, they are still my "kids". I am 43, and my mother - from 2000 miles away - still worries and tries to mother on occassion.

As for finding someone, you are still young. Let it happen, give it time. My husband is an aspie, and I am his second wife.

Naw I see their point now. My wallet on the other hand is well empty. I seem to spend every dollar that I get from my parents and I don't save. I really don't do well with saving. Since in that case my SSI checks I will now be getting will be sent to my mother. I know I'm grown up but there are things I haven't yet earned skill on. I'm going to see if I can find a girl off the internet. That will be the hardest thing for me to do. Take care everyone.

as my Mum puts its - you never stop worrying about your kids no matter how old they are!
don't take offense over their over protection, i know it probably feels suffocating, but they probably think they are acting in your best interests.
If you want independance you should move out, but they will probably butt their noses into your business still!

I think you need to have a serious conversation about this with them.
Your 19 years old and there is no excuse for them to treat you this way.
Now if you were doing something that might ruin your life ok...
But who and if you date is something that is entirely up to you.
Even if i were still 14-15 i still wouldn't put up with my parents trying to decide stuff like that for me.
Your an adult and them trying to forbid such things is just plain wrong.

You're 19 but it wouldn't matter if you were 39. Your parents will always be in your business as long as you're staying with them. And after you move out, marry and have kids, they'll still try telling you how to live your life. It must be some kind of universal parental law or something. Add to the fact you're autistic, they think you're even more vulnerable. If you want more freedom, the best thing you can do for yourself is to prove you're responsible enough to have it.

That means making more adult choices in your life such as building up savings, drawing up a plan of what you'll be doing for the next few years or getting some kind of employment, even if it's just to get you out doing something besides sitting around the house. The internet issue is just a symptom of a bigger one....that your parents still think you're too immature and treat you as such. Show them what you can do on your own and believe me, they'll have no choice but to lay off a little.

I think when you learn to respect that your parents have a right to their opinion that is a sign you are really grown up. (you don't have to agree with them - but just that they are people too). It is more than just a chronological age. There are plenty of people who are way past the teen years and have not grown up at all. I wouldn't get embroiled in a confrontation with them - if they think you are not responsible that will only reaffirm their belief that you are being immature. Just by respecting their request you may even surprise them and change their attitude. That will show them that you really are in control of yourself and capable.

I went to work right after high school - even though I had a scholarship. I went to school for a few months but it was not something I was interested in. Long story but my mom had moved in with my aunt so I was pretty independent from about 18 on - own job, car, ect. So, that kind of changed the attitude right away. At that point they can give advice but that is about it. So, for now you may have to wait it out.

The thing you must remember about parents is that they have no f*****g idea what theyre doing. But mostly for your sake they try to act like they know what theyre talking about. It is a lot less comforting if your doctor says, "I'm only like 35% sure, but you may have a rare and deadly genetic disorder, or you could have something simple and only minorly annoying." Most of the medicine authority figures give is bluffing. They are probably looking out for your best interest but this is your best interest in THEIR eyes, which may not look like your best interest to you. Generations that had hard times and needed to focus on surviving don't take kindly to generations who are see more wisdom in living to be happy. So whenever your parents do something you think is stupid and f****d up, just remember, they have NO idea what theyre doing. But they have enough sources(life experiances) to put together a bad idea as opposed to you, who rarely has any good sources.

I'd have to say that like most old people, your parents don't have a f***ing clue about the internet.

It seems pretty normal for a certain age group to be completely paranoid about doing certain things online, because they take newspaper scare stories so seriously.

Simple facts:

Less than, say, 1 in 10,000 forum users is likely to be someone other than they've described themselves.

Millions of people make credit card purchases online every day without someone stealing their credit card details.

Old farts are terrified of any new technology they don't understand.


If my parents pulled something like that they'd be cut off the internet for a month (benefit of being a computer geek aspie, and owning all the hardware/setting up the whole internet thing).


Go find a dating site, join it, and don't tell your parents about stuff that's none of their business, especially if it's going to help you out in life with very little risk.

I went to Japan for 6 months and stayed with a guy I'd only ever spoken to via email. He wasn't a serial killer!

I've just spent 2 weeks camping with a bunch of people I know from another forum. They are the best support group ever. I'd probably have killed myself if I hadn't found them


If you're too worried that s**t might happen you'll never grow any roses.

Lagitimization is hard to do online, I got a fax line for a few web projects but I am not sure if I am going to do them or not. Most everything I thought to do for advocacy and much more can be done through the regional centers, so in other states I'd just suggest to duplicate it. I have no use for the line as I do not talk to people often outside of family aside from online.

The only proper lagitimization I know for online is a BBB logo with a verify link. I've been ripped off way to many times online.

If my parents told me what to do intrusively there would be problems, I have allot of space from them. My own dwelling that is attached to there house, so they do not intrude and I just do my own thing. Not everyone has the choice to move out.