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Corp900
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25 Jul 2010, 12:23 am

Why isnt there like one book, that is like the master book to help people integrate and socialize with people out there?

THe book of unwritten social rules really dosent give any rules, its just her personal experience in life, plus she had like early intervention.


Ive searched the web for countless days i havent found one web site that can give me a good peice of info on developing conversation and neurotypicalism.

thinksocial.com has a bunch of articles on the inner social coach that is born in neuro typical kids since birth but when i was that young i was just f*****g around and playing with and collecting toys, i didnt care to interact.

So as janet jackson says in her song with Bustah Rhyms "whats it gonna be?"



LancetChick
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25 Jul 2010, 12:33 am

Psychopathy is a lot different from autism and the inability to interact effectively with others. Do you really mean psychopathy, or do you mean the usual autistic tendency to put a foot in it and screw up in front of people whenever possible?



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25 Jul 2010, 12:46 am

Their isn't one book on helping an autistic person meld in2 NT society b/c their is so much to cover that the autistics and NT's who write the books don't individually or collaboratively think of at the same time... SO MUCH STUFF 8O


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KaiG
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25 Jul 2010, 12:46 am

What's psychopathy got to do with anything? Are you hearing voices?


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cyberscan
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25 Jul 2010, 1:01 am

I think that when a person is constantly picked on and rejected by society no matter how hard he or she tries to fit in, it is NO WONDER that such a person develops a deep seated resentment or even hatred towards other people. Even though I try to be nice and polite to everyone I meet, I don't expect that this will be returned, and in many cases, it is not.
I think that until people learn how to treat others (even those who are different) as they would like to be treated, we will continue to have an increase in murders, rapes, and other violent and nonviolent crimes. It is a well known fact that most people involved in mass school shooting are those who are bullied constantly by many people.


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nara44
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25 Jul 2010, 1:11 am

Corp900 wrote:
Why isnt there like one book, that is like the master book to help people integrate and socialize with people out there?

THe book of unwritten social rules really dosent give any rules, its just her personal experience in life, plus she had like early intervention.


Ive searched the web for countless days i havent found one web site that can give me a good peice of info on developing conversation and neurotypicalism.

thinksocial.com has a bunch of articles on the inner social coach that is born in neuro typical kids since birth but when i was that young i was just f***ing around and playing with and collecting toys, i didnt care to interact.


because not only such book is not really needed but any such book would be an insult to lot of us
Social rules are mostly crap,
be someone, adopt some critical view ,find better rules and stick by them so society can change and develope, feeling different doesn't necessary makes u a sycho
especially when it's not u and us that get picked and rejected but the people who fits the rules u r so anxious to adopt
do u really want to be as stupid and inhuman as them ?



anbuend
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25 Jul 2010, 2:37 am

KaiG wrote:
What's psychopathy got to do with anything? Are you hearing voices?


Autistic psychopathy is what Asperger called autism. In that context, it meant "psychological pathology". These days, psychopathy means something like sociopathy (and doesn't mean anything about being psychotic). But back then and in that culture it meant something different.


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one-A-N
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25 Jul 2010, 2:44 am

Dr Hans Asperger called the condition he described in his books (what we know now as "Asperger's syndrome") by the name "autistic psychopathy", which in those days meant something like "autistic personality disorder". The term "psychopathy" did not have the meaning that it has in current English.

That said, I can see no reason why that phrase appears in the title of this thread. The term is only of historical interest. What does the old German term "autistic psychopathy" have to do with having a "master book" about social interaction skills that Aspies need?

A better title might have been "Why no 'master book' on social interaction for Aspies?"

:?: :?: :?:



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25 Jul 2010, 8:00 am

OP, there's no book of "social rules" because it's such a big subject. It's like expecting that someone could write a single book to tell you all about biology or history--it just wouldn't fit. And, unlike biology or history, social rules change depending on the culture, the situation within that culture, the people you're talking to, your own social position (which also changes), your age and the age of the people you're talking to, your environment, whether or not you're at a specific social event, what your social class is, etc.

There's a whole field of study about "social rules"; it's called sociology (as well as parts of the related fields of psychology, anthropology, and linguistics); and people spend their whole lives studying only a small part of it.

There are lots of books on etiquette. Some of them are even written for Spectrum people (one can be found here), but if you ask for a book of all the rules, you're going to be disappointed. It's just too complicated to put in one book. All you can do is get yourself a good list of taboos and things that will outright hurt people, and after that just be yourself, learn what you can, and understand you will always have atypical social interaction. NTs are good at connecting with people, and they can reach part of the way. You don't have to play a perfect NT (impossible in any case) to be understandable.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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25 Jul 2010, 2:06 pm

Corp900 wrote:
Why isnt there like one book, that is like the master book to help people integrate and socialize with people out there?

THe book of unwritten social rules really dosent give any rules, its just her personal experience in life, plus she had like early intervention.


Ive searched the web for countless days i havent found one web site that can give me a good peice of info on developing conversation and neurotypicalism.

thinksocial.com has a bunch of articles on the inner social coach that is born in neuro typical kids since birth but when i was that young i was just f***ing around and playing with and collecting toys, i didnt care to interact.

So as janet jackson says in her song with Bustah Rhyms "whats it gonna be?"


Okay, I can give you some pointers. Bear in mind it's easier for me to intellectualize than put in practice, especially where I am, since I am highly unmotivated.

One thing you can do: Compliment people, but don't go overboard. Give compliments based on reality and how you really feel. If you like a new hairstyle say "I dig your new hair, it's cool" or "that hairstyle looks really good on you" if you are in a more formal setting. You can compliment hair, clothing, a talent or skill. People like to hear nice things about themselves. Just don't sound like you are kissing ass or people get suspicious. It could open you up to being disrespected if people suspect you of insincerity.
While you are doing this, don't forget to ask a few key questions:
How ya doing?
So what's it like to ________________________ here? (go to school, work, live, hang out, whatever the situation calls for)
How long you been at this?
Where'd you get that ____________ because it's cool!
Got any pointers on how to _______________________?

You want to sound interested in them and give the impression you respect their input and opinions. They are quite capable of advising you and you take their advice seriously. They feel invaluable and important, like you need them. This gives them a warm, fuzzy, happy feeling inside. :)

Another thing: be tough. Most people respect toughness and self confidence.

Third, talk about people when they aren't around. You can compliment people high in the social heirarchy, and bash the ones the higher ups disapprove of. This gets you points up high where it matters.

Last and most important. Don't be timid or shy. Just jump right in there and take control of the situation. You will be respected as the alpha male type if you do this.