Be or not an Asperger ?

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It must be difficult, yes, to be sure to be an Aspie.. Perhaps it would be better to have some confirmation by a pedopsychiatrist (they know Asperger better than psy for adults). But I am sure that people who have an Aspie aroud them are able to recognize another one (ex the teacher).

And a question for you all who are diagnosed : how many criteria do you think you full fill ? 60% ? 75 % ? 90% ?

And when you became sure, how did you feel ? Afraid ? RELIEVED ? (there are a lot of people like me...)

Since there's different criteria sets for AS, and they take the form of "You have three from column A, and four from column B, and..." it's hard to rate my Aspieness as a simple percentage. I didn't meet most of the criteria, for sure, but I met enough.

A few weeks ago, I had been reading an article about some kid who'd either shot himself or murder-suicided after posting cries for help in this forum last year. (I don't remember much else about that now, and it isn't the sort of thing I normally read about.) The article linked me here to wrongplanet.net, and I just stumbled on in and started reading the Articles section, then the Links, and when I got to the Wikipedia article and read their diagnosis criteria it was a real AHA! moment. Then, like most of us apparently, I had doubts, read more articles, took the online test (I got 32 NT and 136 Aspie, very likely to be Aspie, IIRC) and realised that yes, this really was it. I'd been searching for this my whole life, not even sure it really existed, and now here it was.

I actually had to be real cautious that this all wasn't just wish fulfillment on my part. I'd wondered, growing up, why I was so different from the other kids. Embarrassing as it is to say now, one of my favorite fantasies had been that I was secretly the World's Smartest ret*d (Duh-duh-DUUUUH! Play the theme music, maestro.) Learning about all this, then, was practically a childhood dream come true. So I felt obligated to check everything out thoroughly before I started tootin' my horn here in the forums. I was worried because so many others were having real, serious issues that I'd never really had to deal with. I needed to ensure that if everyone thought I was obnoxious, it was because I was bein' me in a help forum for people like me, not because y'all'd been invaded by some poser troll.

Eventually I figured out that comorbidity was the real issue. Asperger's in and of itself TENDED not to be such a big deal, but combine it with OCD or Bipolar Disorder or something else, and problems could get real big, real quick. I've had depression issues my whole life, but that was about it for me in the comorbidity department. I also learned that aspies typically have intense childhood interests; when others had been learning about space and computers, I had been reading Jung and studying the subconscious mind and social dynamics. No doubt, this has helped me over many hurdles that trip up other aspies.

So I started posting here and, just as promised, no one's asked me to leave over anything I've said; no one's angrily demanded that I get a diagnosis or prove that I'm a real aspie. This forum--no, the people posting here--have been the best part of the whole shebang. The topics are all so pertinent and fascinating, the people who agree with me all seem so smart, the people who argue with me--well, sonuvagun, they seem smart too! I've seen plenty of heated debate, but very little outright malice. I'm just so proud of you all. I'm proud of us.

That's how I feel.

It's nice to post on a forum and not feel like I have to watch my tongue (or my fingers) all the time - which I do, quite often, in other forums. I'm not afraid of bluntness...I am afraid of being misunderstood and misinterpreted.

I don't know how many criteria I fulfill - I also don't care overly. Enough to have a firm diagnosis. Does it matter how many % you matched, when what it's actually about is managing life and you know, getting on with it? I don't tend to think so. Just that I am Aspie is enough for me. I've spent a long time trying to work out why I wasn't like other kids, but nothing I read fit.

(BTW, There is an Aspie test? LOL An online one? Never found that!)

Even now I'm still discovering things which didn't click before but do now. I've suffered with rhinitis and those problems for as long as I can remember. NO medication has ever helped it at all. Now I wonder if it even is rhinitis. It may simply be another facet of my AS rearing up. So many things it's explained...I'm more at peace with myself now that I know for sure what it is. I think I also open up to people more.

I honestly had times as a kid when I wondered if I was a bad person or evil or something, because I was always in trouble and always seemed to be getting simple things wrong and making others upset. The nicest words that the doctor said when he diagnosed me were..."Now you know, it wasn't your fault." Having the firm diagnosis doesn't change you or the fact you are or are not Aspie or whatever - so it's only necessary if you really want that closure. But I find it helps when dealing with people who don't understand - to have an actual name that I can back up with medical evidence!

Apple

My theme song used to be "Everything I do is wrong...." until I divorced the guy it was aimed at.

My parents used to say "You have such great potential!" (But where's the short circuit?)

However, I'm happy to be me now that those freaking mundanes are off my back.