I dont know where to start...

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This is my first time here, and i feel like im going crazy! It all started with my 10 year old daughter having problems at school. after what seemed like years of me trying to get the teachers to listen to me that there was something wrong they finaly agreed that there may be something, she was tested and we found out that she has short term memory problems and it all went from there, next thing we know she has Aspergers (high functioning) i got asked about her dad and we got talking, it turns out that more than likely he also has it, after many days of research everything fits in, he also agrees that he has it and that it explains alot to him about why he has always felt the way he has. Now it gets even better! Our 2 boys aged 8 and 6 also show strong signs of having it, i feel so crazy atm that i dont know if i want to laugh with relief or cry with devistation, My husband has never been there for me emotionaly, he fights with the kids like he is one of them, for a long time now i have been feeling like i just cant cope anymore, i have issues with cloths, food, my daughter has only one set of clothing that she will wear, my son will put his socks on and take them off many times b4 going to school because he hates the seams in them, my husband hoards everything, he brings things home from the side of the road, my youngest will only eay white food. God i seem to be going backwards and forwards here but i have so much to say, i just feel like im going to go insane, I dont know what to do anymore, Up untill hubby agreed that he has a problem the marriage was over we had even discussed him leaving. Now i just dont know what to do because i realise its not his fault he was not just being selfish and uncaring. I have even had people tell me its the way i have been bringing my kids up!! ! this was b4 we found out about aspergers, i just feel so helpless atm...

Thank you, i have actualy told my hubby that this has probably saved our marriage, i love my kids dearly, im just rather emotional atm and know that they are still the same people they were b4 we got the diagnosis it has just made everything so real. All this time i just kept thinking that our family was totaly disfunctional, im screaming inside for the people i love, im frustrated and scared to be honest, not of what they have but how im going to deal with it all (help them in the best possible way) it just explains so much to me and is a huge relief. While i want to be there for my hubby i feel so stretched and torn between standing up for the kids when he picks on them to trying to understand that he realy cant help it either, thats where im feeling like im going to fall appart. I mean how does one cope with that?

i highly suggest you come into the parents forum and start reading =) welcome to wrong planet!

knowing whats going on with your husband and kids will help a lot going forward.

Thanks ill try that idea with the socks! fingers crossed will also be looking into the parents forum ...muchly appreciated thank you!