"You are not what you think you are"

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31 Aug 2010, 3:25 am

There's a saying that goes something like this: "You are not what you think you are, you are not what other people think you are, you are what you think other people think you are". What is the meaning of this saying? Does it have anything to do with autism or AS?

Ambivalence
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31 Aug 2010, 6:04 am

alexptrans wrote:

It's an attempt to explain behaviour by making the simplification that only behaviour which is influenced by other people is important. This simplification cannot be made; while we (almost) all act, to greater or lesser degree, based on how we think other people will perceive it, this is just one component, not the sum total of our behaviour.

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Philologos
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31 Aug 2010, 8:38 am

My immediate reaction at ANY moment in my life would be:

Here is a guy who WANTS others to think he is smart saying something really dumb but cute sounding.

alexptrans
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31 Aug 2010, 8:40 am

Ambivalence wrote:

Thanks, I think I get it now.

alexptrans
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31 Aug 2010, 8:41 am

Philologos wrote:

My immediate reaction at ANY moment in my life would be:

Here is a guy who WANTS others to think he is smart saying something really dumb but cute sounding.

LOL. I react that way too sometimes when I hear silly expressions. Like, "God is like the sun; you cannot look at it, but without it, you cannot look at anything else".

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31 Aug 2010, 8:43 am

If anything, I would think the statement applies LESS to people with ASD since social pressure seems to have less influence on how people with autism behave.

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31 Aug 2010, 9:13 am

alexptrans wrote:

There's a saying that goes something like this:
"You are not what you think you are,
"you are not what other people think you are,
"you are what you think other people think you are".
What is the meaning of this saying?

I have never before heard that particular saying, but yes, certain other people *might* be right at times. The problem there, however, is one's tendency to try to change what other people think of us ... and that is usually a fruitless venture. So, I now view what other people think of me as actually being none of my business.

Overall, here is how I first heard that kind of thing:

There is the person I see when I look at me;
There is the person other people see when they look at me;
There is the person "God" sees when He looks at me;
I am in best condition when all three agree.

alexptrans wrote:

Does it have anything to do with autism or AS?

Not as far as I can see.

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primaloath
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31 Aug 2010, 9:30 am

I have a different saying: "Whoever tries to make you doubt yourself has a hidden agenda."

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31 Aug 2010, 10:32 am

alexptrans wrote:

---

The saying has nothing to do with autism or Asperger (my view).

The saying applies to everyone on planet earth (simplified).

The saying, the way it is used above, means:

You are what you think the words of others about you actually mean.

The words may mean what you think they mean or you may (accidentally, somehow mishear/whatever) misinterpret how others used the words so your misinterpretation becomes what you believe.

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01 Sep 2010, 2:32 am

jagatai wrote:

If anything, I would think the statement applies LESS to people with ASD since social pressure seems to have less influence on how people with autism behave.

not necessarily: one thing I can flat-out tell the majority of folks here who are desperate to learn social skills to "fit in": deal with it guys: no matter what you tell yourself, you don't sound even one iota as smooth as 007 when you're in conversation, ok? :lol:

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01 Sep 2010, 2:46 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:

jagatai wrote:

If anything, I would think the statement applies LESS to people with ASD since social pressure seems to have less influence on how people with autism behave.

Wouldn't that depend upon the individual ASD person? We aren't all exactly alike. Some of us maybe be smoother than others.

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01 Sep 2010, 2:54 am

Taupey wrote:

TheDoctor82 wrote:

jagatai wrote:

If anything, I would think the statement applies LESS to people with ASD since social pressure seems to have less influence on how people with autism behave.

Wouldn't that depend upon the individual ASD person? We aren't all exactly alike. Some of us maybe be smoother than others.

smoother yes, but don't forget he also has the "aura" that attracts people; we don't...or do you forget this?

yukari
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01 Sep 2010, 4:04 am

I have a saying I think with similar idea.
When two persons take part in the conversation, how many people are really there?
Six.
Two - how do they both see themselves.
Two - how do they both see each other.
Two - how do God see, who they really are.

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01 Sep 2010, 7:07 am

Maybe that person is afraid of people who are different, so they want us to blend in, with our same age, same sex peers. No thank you. I don't understand my own gender, let alone my own generation.

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01 Sep 2010, 7:12 am

alexptrans wrote:

Philologos wrote:

My immediate reaction at ANY moment in my life would be:

Here is a guy who WANTS others to think he is smart saying something really dumb but cute sounding.

LOL. I react that way too sometimes when I hear silly expressions. Like, "God is like the sun; you cannot look at it, but without it, you cannot look at anything else".

What about those immensly pointless supposed philosophical debates like "If a tree falls down and nobody is there, does it make a sound?"

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01 Sep 2010, 7:51 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:

jagatai wrote:

If anything, I would think the statement applies LESS to people with ASD since social pressure seems to have less influence on how people with autism behave.

I've met smooth talking aspies. It really depends on the person.

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