Non-specific instructions

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I find that I freeze up when I am asked to do anything new that I have never done before... I have this feeling of dread, as if it will all be too much for me. This can be alleviated if i an able to find out how to do this new thing, and then I do it and somehow iron out any problems that come up, until I am comfortable with this new activity.

But problems arise when someone wants me to perform some task for them, then they walk off without telling me where all the implements are, or the specifics of performing the task, and I end up unable to do the task....

I am sure all people would have problems with this but I have poor executive function so I end up in a blind panic if i am asked to do something new and am not shown how.

ie, a manager asking me to do something and I go to do it and find it is impossible because some of the stuff I need to complete the task is missing, or completing the task involves having been trained in a way i havent been.

Then the boss is back later and I am bailed up because I couldnt complete the tasks. Very stressful.

Also i have been in the situation where the boss asked me to do something by myself which I only vaguely knew how to do and they got impatient when I asked questions, and then they said "Figure it out yourself" and went out, and I ended up wasting an hour because they didnt answer the questions, or leave any instructions for me...

Anyway this is getting long. Has anyone else had this happen to them? I wish I was a more practical person and had more initiative. At the same time, i dont think it is unreasonable to take a little time out to show an employee how to do something new, or tell them where to find things...

Yes, this happened to me all the time in my last job. I explained many times to my boss that it would be more productive and less stressfull if he gave me proper training and information to do the job. In one ear.....out the other. I would often sit there trying to work it out - and I would work it out- and get really stressed in the process . But his attitude was hey you worked it out - where's the problem?

I also asked for written instructions, to be better informed (kinda imperative for anyone to know what's going on - but more so for people like us) and for some understanding towards my sensory issues.


So for these and other reasons I no longer work there.

The "Just figure it out yourself/ suck it up/ I can't be bothered " attitude is not good enough.

Happens to me all the time....

I sometimes just suck it up and ask all the "stupid" questions and "own" the "I'm sorry, I'm blond and I'm a girl" f****d up stereotype, sometimes that is better than the prospect of failing miserably.

If I for some reason can't do this, or if I'm not comfortable enough with the person in question to do this I display an air of confidence and assure them things will be taken care of, and THEN proceed to either seek out someone I AM comfortable asking or dig up any information available to me that could help me figure out what to do.

Thankfully, I don't often get put in these situations, but when I do it is usually for a week at a time, not counting the occasional unplanned situations, and I usually come out of them stressed as hell and with a feeling I've either failed miserably or just barely been able to hold a bull by it's tail... I hate it... Beer is my friend after episodes like this....

I need to know in exact word for word, A to Z detail what it is I'm supposed to do. It's one of the problems I have so much trouble with college classes-- the professors never five enough information. People always get mad at me when they tell me to do something & I do it wrong all because they would not tell me exactly what I was supposed to do & exactly how I am supposed to do it. I hate being expected to know things without being told.

Oh, I positively hate it when I don't get specific instructions. I had this type of bosses before, they think you see what's going on in their heads. I've learned to ask for clarification though, no matter how dumb I may look. Anyway it's better than realising that you've been doing the job all wrong halfway through it.

Thank you guys, you have all helped make me feel better. i guess it is one of the things in life I will have to put up with. And it is true that it is better to look a bit stupid and ask too many questions than to make a monumental mistake...

the "you worked it out, where's the problem?" attitude that Opal is talking about, I think perhaps some people are good at working things out on their own and they assume others are too...

i guess we need to stop beating ourselves up about not having a certain personality trait/talent such as that, even though it is required for many workplaces.

High school english class assignments

"write whatever you feel like writing however you feel like writing it"

and then me sitting at the computer for hours looking at a blank document like "ok. what do I write about?"
Filling out a page. Reading and deleting it. Starting another. Reading and deleting it then showing up to class empty handed to earn my slacker cred

Theyd leave me no instructions and then get frustrated at me for not completing the assignment. "you're right. Im insubordinate. Thats why I didn't do my homework" is better than explaining the situation and being told to stop making excuses and "just do it"

That was their responce to every question I had. Glad the mantra works for them

Thats kind of funny Yes, it is a lot easier to write about something when you have an actual topic.. I know what you mean....

Who told you how to write this post? Where were the instructions? I understand being labeled because people don't understand how your mind works and how upsetting that can be. But there isn't always going to be a clear set of instructions in life. So I think this is one of those things we just need to work harder at than everyone else. It's not as simple as "just do it." But I would say "don't give up until you find a way to make it happen." And by that I mean finishing the paper. It doesn't have to be amazing or perfect. Just finished. Another reality of life we sometimes struggle to grasp.

I'm probably sounding like an outsider here, but actually this looks like something I would have posted years ago. It's just that the importance of being able to work without clear instructions is something I didn't really appreciate until I finished school and started working.

Last edited by scubasteve on 17 Sep 2010, 6:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, but it can be hard for us to get initiative up without clear guidelines. I could easily see how someone who has difficulty thinking of things to say, or things to write, would freeze without guidelines. That is what happens to me a lot.

Yeah, it still freezes me sometimes. It's tough. I'm not trying to belittle the task. But it's very important. At some point we have to figure out how to apply any knowledge that could guide us, when it's best to ask more questions, and when it's better to just give it a try and if we fail so be it. So I wouldn't be too quick to assume this teacher is lacking compassion - it may just be a "tough love" attempt at preparation.

Oh my goodness, I relate to this so much. I don't think I'm quite on the spectrum, but this has been my #1 problem in life.

It happens with every type of job I've ever had. I've been a stay-at-home mom for over a decade now, so I don't have to deal with it quite so much, thank goodness. A few years ago I volunteered to help at my kids' school, and it was a nightmare. All the other volunteer moms kept busy doing stuff, like they magically knew what to do and how to do it. I felt like an idiot. So after a few days of that, I quit.

When I do have a real job, bosses always complain that I need to "take the initiative" or "be a self-starter." But then when I do try to figure out how to do something on my own (or guess what it is they want me to do, because they never actually say), I end up guessing wrong more often than not. Then I'd get in trouble for that. No wonder I've had chronic anxiety my whole life. Being a stay-at-home mom is pretty cool, though, aside from the fact that it doesn't pay a penny.


I've asked my husband about this, because he's an absolute expert at knowing just what to do. He tells me the trick is to ask lots of questions. But in the jobs I've had, the boss is either nowhere to be found, or is so mean and wicked that you regret it if you open your mouth at all.

I have this problem. Mine happens when there are stressed or irritable people to work with, and stuff or situations that are very touchy. They'd either not give me enough instructions, or they didn't let me figure it out and they were the type that got mad if you messed up.

I was just giving an example there. Im out of school now so the papers aren't an issue anymore, thank god

the guidelines for this discussion are in the the thread title. The topic is non-specific instructions so I know to type about something related to that. Thats easy. Its when my mind is left to wander that things get frustrating. Its a matter of organization and organization is a matter of prioritising and prioritising is something my brain doesn't really do. Interesting things are interesting and boring things are boring. Theres a ton of interesting things and a ton of boring things and id much rather be told to write on a specific subject I find boring then told to write about anything I find interesting

Nowadays I work at group homes with people with lower functioning autism. We are there to provide support and structure for these guys which I find very frustrating if Im not given specific instructions on how to provide that support and structure. What would be a violation of personal rights for one person may be what another person needs to learn and grow and im not comfortable at all with telling someone to do something unless I know its gonna help them. Regulations provide that these things be written down in the individuals file but ive been put in situations where my administrators expectations of how I should handle a situation were extranneous and unneccesary. I had a couple of breakdowns due to this and nearly lost my job but Im still working and that administrator was fired... so yeah

I don't do things without specific instructions. I will just stand there doing nothing until they help me or give me better instructions. I have to be shown things or I don't usually understand what to do. If they won't do that hand them to me written.

I've been accused of defying people's authority when I have been left with nothing but verbal instructions, because I would continually do them wrong. I'd rather stand and do nothing than do something wrong and potentially get in trouble now.

This is something I cant wrap my head around at all. It seems like everyone just knows what they're role is in every situation and they dont even have to discuss it. I have a hard time working with people cause of this. Some people like to stay busy. Im fine with that. Im not one of them though. So I let them do their thing because thats what they like to do and then they get irritated with me for not doing anything. And whenever I ask them if they would like help with anything its just like "nah, Im all set. Thanks" and then pretty soon im the guy whos totally worthless and sucks at everything