OK.. Now I've met you fine folk.... how do I tell my family?

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If your family has teased you for ackward social scenes, the no-touch thing, and other teasing things; however, they also express fear of your angers and everyone asks "did you take your pill today?"

So, having set that up.... how do I tell them I'm officially an aspie? Does that make their issues with me better or worse? Do I lose my responsibility, respect, trust (?) in their eyes?

Anyone been there, done that?

H.

I think the first thing you should do is ask yourself, "How do you see yourself?" Do you see yourself as not worthy? Or do you see yourself as worthy? People can be influenced by the manner in which you see yourself.

You need to have high self-esteem. Be proud of who you are and do not apologize. If you tell your parents that you have AS, then you go to them and in a non-shameful manner say, "Mom/Dad, I have officially been diagnosed with Asperger's. And that does not change who I am for I have been this way all my life."

You must develop your personal philosophy of AS. My philosophy is that AS is a difference and not a disorder nor a disease. I uphold the belief that AS can give us a gifts if we accept them, nurture them, and use them. AS/autism has given me the gift of music and special intense interests. I have challenges in life, but I accept them without question for they are a part of what has made me happy.

I have been fortunate because my family has not teased me. They have always been supportive of me. I do not keep my AS/autism a secret. It is an important part of who I am and have always been.

Stay positive and think about the benefits of now having an understanding of your life. You are not alone. Good luck and may life give you what you deserve---happiness.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said:


"You need to have high self-esteem. Be proud of who you are and do not apologize. If you tell your parents that you have AS, then you go to them and in a non-shameful manner say, "Mom/Dad, I have officially been diagnosed with Asperger's. And that does not change who I am for I have been this way all my life."

My mother who's a reading specialist may very well understand since she protected me and kept me a "good girl' growing up. Dad won't get it - period..

Do folk tell everyone? Employers? Friends? or more close to the vest - family and close friends.?

Thanks for the response.

H.

You are welcome Harobed. I have been thinking about you this evening with this decision before you. Some of my fellow workers know I have AS because one of them is involved with our local autism support group for children (my youngest son has AS too). And since I am the gifted intervention specialist at our school, my students are interested in brain types, and therefore I tell them I have AS. I have never had a problem with telling people. I don't just run up to people I know and say it, but if I find an appropriate situation to tell people, I do. I find it helps both me and them because I do have social awkwardness, and there is a reason for it. So they know not to expect me to be the social talker like other people are. At first, my wife didn't mention my AS to people she knew, but now she does if a conversation leads up to it.

I would be careful.

Many people on here (myself included) find that some tend to think it's a cop out, especially if it's not immediately evident to them.

I've stopped telling people for now at least, I'm still undecided on whether it's a good thing to tell everyone.

I think it would be a great thing to tell people if they had an education on ASD's, but most people only have assumptions that are in the extreme regarding symptoms and if you don't fit their pre-conceived stereotypes then you may have a hard time convincing them that there's anything different about you.

With that said, good luck and let me know if you're successful, perhaps I'm just doing it wrong!

Brundisium---I fully respect your advice of caution for the OP. It definitely makes sense and should be taken as wise advice for the OP. And to the OP/ Harobed---please take the advice of Brundisium seriously.

But for me, I am 45 years old and have decided to not be that careful in regards to disclosing my AS. All my life I have been careful about my eccentricities---I always knew there was something extremely different about me. So, when I walked out of that clinic in November of 2008 with an official diagnosis of AS---the diagnosis that made my eccentric life make sense, I decided on a new journey in my life. I was no longer afraid of what the world thought of me. I was not alone. I adopted the motto, "My journey has just begun." I launched a new music ministry and have told every congregation I have played for that I have AS/autism. I relate it as a gift in my life. My students know I have AS. I have told many people (as situations have made it appropriate to do so) that I have AS. And you know what? I have never been met with a negative remark---not one. I am not saying that it won't happen. But so far it hasn't. The closest thing I had was a mother who said she didn't understand how I could talk in front of the church when her autistic son couldn't even speak. But she understood that most AS people do speak. The minister told me afterwards that the mother was trying to find hope for her son in that someday he could do some of things that I was able to do. I am who I am , and I am not afraid to let people know.

But again Harobed, listen to the advice of the posters and decide what you must do. You should do what feels right for you. But don't be afraid of what feels right. Good luck.

Hand out copies of Look Me In the Eye and ask if any of it sounds familiar. It sounds trite, but it helped with some of my more skeptical friends and relatives.

That's good advice - and I do think some will be skeptical, B. They will look only at the big picture of my successes and not the underlying and ongoing problems from, well, birth.

Maybe I'lll just let my daughter the testing specialist, tell them.

Thanks and keep the ideas coming, frankly, as this is a big issue for me.

H.