Having tantrums for no reason

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Anyone else have this problem?..It might be because I sometimes have trouble with transitions..and the glare of my solitude being interrupted by the presence of others....causes me to freak out...I just blew up at my business partner...I did not mean to ...it just happens...It happens a lot when it is "totally uncalled for" but I can't help it....it sucks...

I feel for you there, my tantrums happen only
when peple are meant to me in real life,
I don'tknow why but on boards I either taunt and
call names like poopyface and laff at them or
I spit out computer errors, but in real life
I smash things and throw thigns and scream
and cry.

I know, I have not been able to find the control
knob yet, nor the circuit that is soupposed to
control it, so they stillhappen.

Only with someone I know very well, otherwise I implode on the inside if people get too close to me for too long and likely why I stay to myself more often than not. Sensory overload is much greater when around others, for me. I have one friend that I'm nearly constantly in a tantrum around and have to limit even phone calls.

Do YOU think it is for "no reason" or do other people tell you that you just "blew up" for "no reason" or that your distressed response was "totally uncalled for"...?

Crucial difference, there...

The reasons that I might fly off the handle, sometimes is if somebody does something to provoke it, like destroying my property. Other than that, I rarely get angry.

I am aware of what causes my tantrums, and yet still have no control over them..Interactions w my business partner often invoke an auto-stress response in me..When he says my name, I often jump out of my skin..and i snap at him...and though I am repremanded for it, I can't help when it happens again...as I associate his saying my name with the threshold of some stressful ordeal...
I am also upset when I am asked questions that I am unable to answer...and when my things are getting messed with, and it is beyond my control...etc...

So..I have my reasons...they just don't ever seem to make any sense to the people who must endure them

Is there some issue which you are not consciously aware of, yet subconsciously over-stressed? For instance, many people can suffer workplace bullying and harassment, or severe levels of workplace stress, without being consciously aware of why they are feeling so stressed / tense / anxious. Does his saying your name sometimes lead on to a stressful encounter?

If you do become aware of stressful elements of work, it may be possible to minimize them - e.g. the questions which you are unable to answer could be posed in written form, for you to respond in your own time-frame.

OP, I get what you're saying. I also have certain triggers for tantrums but in my case it is actions towards me that disrespect my personal boundaries. If it's things that they always do, put up a sign listing the things they cannot do. If you've disclosed your ASD, say it's a sensitivity due to your ASD and that you cannot easily control how you react. If you haven't told them, say that you dislike it when people do it to you and that you consider it an act of rudeness. Also mention that you work best in solitude and that you would like all communications that could break your solitude to be in writing and on a certain part of your desk (make a spot for it). If they think it's not reasonable tell them that by breaking your solitude they are making it difficult for you to maintain your productivity at peak levels and by doing so they are costing the business lots of money in lost productivity.

I've listened to a podcaster called "Get It Done Guy" a lot and I've got this idea from him. If your interruptions could be dealt with non-urgently you can schedule time for them. If they're day to day stuff, allocate a particular amount of time at a particular time of the day especially for dealing with those interruptions. If they're more frequent, allocate smaller parts of time, like the last 5 minutes of every hour to deal with any 'interruptions' that landed on your desk or ended up in your answering machine (don't let people interrupt you verbally - make them write down a note). Make sure your workmates know those time restrictions and let them know that if there are no interruptions before the next interruption period, that time period won't be for interruptions. This is only if you have enough authority/self-sufficiency at your work to enforce it. I'm considering similar things at uni at a smaller scale.

Yes, I have tantrums. But they aren't for no reason. Other people just don't always undersand the reason.

It's a long story..I have an unusual situation.
I am semi-self-employed...
I disclose to most people who have to interact with me on a regular basis...I don't really have too much of a choice...but they don't necc. understand it..the way my partner refuses to understand my reaction to his saying my name..

Can you predict when they are going to happen? If you have warning, you can often get yourself out of the situation and handle it later when you are calmer.

I don't really have tantrums as such. I don't shout, swear and cry over something I don't want. I usually shout, swear and cry over something someone has said to me what's too harsh for me, or annoys me a lot. I seem to have a list of words in my head what I don't like people verbally saying to me, such as ''stop moaning'', ''grow up/you're acting like a child'', ''you are so embarrassing'', and ''stop following me''. This is because these same words are always used against me, and what annoys me about these phrases being said to me is the fact they aren't used often to anyone else, even if they are moaning or acting immature or embarrassing or following. And when I ask why they're only used on me, the response is, ''because you're always doing it!'' But that ain't it at all. Even if I haven't been doing it for weeks and then comes a day where I do, people will still use those words on me and I get sick of it. And instead of me calmly saying, ''don't say that to me,'' I have to shout to them and stomp about, because doing that sends them a strong message not to say those things to me as much. I don't mind those things being said sometimes, but when they are said to me in whatever I do, it gets a little much and also offensive.
People tell me to stop moaning to them when all I'm doing is voicing an opinion to them. People tell me to grow up when all I'm doing is sharing a joke or having a laugh. People tell me how embarrassing I am even when I'm barely doing anything different. People tell me to stop following them even when I'm just getting something what happens to be where they're standing.
The other day my mum's sister said loudly in te middle of a restaurant, ''I need a s**t!'' and my mum just laughed and enjoyed the witty remark, but if I was to say the exact same thing, my mum would have been angry and embarrassed.

Usually I only go ape if only close relatives say these critical remarks to me - not distant relatives or unrelated people, because they wouldn't throw critical remarks at me anyway.

I just can't win with NTs, however much I love my family

Hi Joe90

I got those kind of stupid remarks also,
but the day that I started wearing my
Tigger and Pooh overalls, gave up on dating
and generally went back to b eing a little
b oy is the day the stupid remarks suddenly
disapreard, weird but true.

Maybe it because I was away from family,
and just happend, or maybe it because
of that I quit and gave up being trying to
be a growedup they th*t I just snapped,
well, what ever they want to think, bah,
its not my problem, I'm happy now.

I never claim to be "mature" and I'm not
and I won't be, I know what will happen,
I am just being myself and someone is going
"he is so immature" and I go "dang right, poopybottom!"
and I blow a razzberrie at them, and all the
little kids laugh and want to be my best frend,
and embarass all the growedups. hehe.

The Bob/Carole Normals sure did not like how I reacted
to their 'remarks' but, that is just how I
react, not the dood down the street, not the
girl next door, just me.

I still have tantrums when peple are mean to me,
and it is just the way I react, and that won't
change.

Same with me. I can't help the way I am, and it's all very well NTs saying to us, ''you can help yourself!'' because I can't. I can't wave a magic wand and become something I'm not. I don't like having outbursts. I hate it, but they are so unpredictable that I'm even getting worried about when and where and why I'm going to have my next one. I don't have them at work, but I do at home. And I upset my family, which I don't like happening. I feel so sorry for my poor family, and I don't know how they can go out and buy me Christmas and birthday presents each year, because I've said some pretty nasty things to them out of anger. I called my poor dad an unpleasent name before out of anger, and I've yelled at my poor brother for just walking into a room, and I've made my poor mum cry for answering back rudely to her, and I've even frightened my poor cat out of the house. And I even swear at myself in anger as though I'm shouting at different person. So that's one good thing because at least I don't go around shouting at everybody else but thinking I'm great. It ain't that at all. I love my family, and I hate myself, and the more I shout at them the more I grow angry with myself because inside I'm feeling cross with myself for upsetting them. I suppose I could help myself if I tried a bit more, but it's too difficult to even comprehend for me, and I can't seem to snap out of it. It's easy to just say, ''oh she's doing it to upset the whole household!'' But I'm not doing that at all. I can express all other emotions properly, except for anger. When it comes to me and anger, I get so confused then more angry and don't know how to deal with the situation, so I go into one. I'm not doing it on purpose. IF I was a horrible person who liked upsetting my family, then I wouldn't be developing guilty feelings afterwards. But my auntie said that the reason why I do feel guilty and awful after a meltdown is because I love my family so much, so it doesn't make me a horrible person.

I love my family so much that everything I shout at them is not true. Like the old saying goes, ''familiarity breeds comtempt.'' I thought I was the worst-tempered person in the world - until I once watched a programme about families who are at eachother's throats. It really opened my eyes. Ad - best of all - nobody mentioned anyone were Aspies on it. So NTs can be just as bad! If not, worse.

I get REALLY angry over what others would see as minor stuff...for example when my mom gently pushed me in my mid-back to get me to sit down. I'd very much rather she ASKED me to sit down, as the unexpected touch bothered me, also, I'm instinctively protective of my spine/adrenal area...Not sure why.

I really understand the name thing. I think because we have been trained by parents, school etc., that we are supposed to respond immediately when someone calls our name. So when I'm concentrating on something, and someone says my name, it not only immediately causes my brain to be shoved off of what I'm working on, it's that much harder to shift back. It would be much easier for someone just to say "hey..."
Don't get me wrong, I am very fond of my (real) name, but when someone uses it to begin or end each sentence, it's like they're thumping me in the forehead. So, personally, I almost never say people's names out of consideration of the same. It's like demanding someone's complete attention.