Keeping your special interest under control?

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My special interest is women...everything about them. I'm not trying to be facetious here. I think about women the way other people think about their stamp collection or their favorite TV show or video game or hobby or whatever.

But I notice it gets out of hand sometimes, especially for those of you who know me from the love and dating forum when I was posting under a different name.

I seem to think about women/dating/sex in general way too much. I understand it's normal for guys, but it's like, other than watching tv, sports, visiting family, occasionally playing football, shopping, going out to eat, listening to music, etc., I'm thinking about women while other guys are busy with work (working is out of my control because of my level of Aspergers) or a productive hobby (I'm a talented musician but completely unmotivated. I can go a week without picking up an instrument,) It seems women are the only thing that "excite" me and I almost have teenager-esque lust. It's not even so much the sex as it is the female form.

I figured out that part of the reason, other than the special interest/obsession, is that it's never come easy to me, and women have never shown interest in me, at least consistently, so it made me want it even more. I had my first girlfriend, so I don't think about that as much...now I think about recreational sex (I define recreational as not being in love) 24/7.

Like I said, I understand this is normal, and compared to 2 months ago, it's under control, but I would like to get to a point where I'm playing music more often and going days without obsessing over the female form. I mean, I'm 27, not 17.

So for those of you with other special interests, are you able to successfully moderate them?

you just gotta know how to talk to people, you gotta know how to say "you have a nice ass" and not seem creepy

its easy cause I don't like talking about dolls much lol
and if I do its merely to scare people

My special intrests were never dangerous or taboo. What's so bas about meerkats? The worst that could happen is me jumping over the barrier in a zoo to interact with them.

sounds like you could use a little structure in your life. Is working seriously out of your control? I mean really? ANY sort of work?

I control myself via having schedules and some rules... Temple Grandin says the same in her book. Make a time for your obsession and make it a reward to get to do it. Temple explains that her Mother only let her be autistic once she did her homework. I make a list of things I gotta do and schedule them. THEN I reward myself with obsessing once I have other life things done. I also work which helps tremendously. I cannot imagine how broken and unfocused I would be if I just allowed myself to do whatever I wanted wrt my obsession. The good new RE asperber people is that we tend to follow rules. Make some rules to change your behaviour.

I'm pretty much useless when it comes to most work not involving music. I don't follow simple directions or instructions (or understand them at times), I have major ADD (I can't even get through movies unless I'm enjoying them on a 10 out of 10 level)...I seem to get in everyone's way and told I'm doing things wrong. I also don't blend in well because of the Aspergers...I'm not ugly or hideous but people can tell there's something "different" and snicker which makes me very uncomfortable.

I'm a music savant, except I'm not at virtuoso level, I'm just "really good." I'd like to be in a wedding type band or function band that gets a lot of gigs, but a lot of that has to do with connections as well as talent.

The other problem is I'm on prozac for depression (which completely gets rid of it) but it also makes me tired as hell (a common side-effect) and my body needs 12 hours of sleep on it. A naked beautiful woman could be standing in my doorway, and if I haven't got that amount of sleep, my body will pull itself back down. I'm trying to work on it with my doctor so at the very least I can be more energetic and productive around the house.

Ha, I keep my special interests well under control me. I barely even talk about them, prrffft. I can easily stop myself from obsessing over...
OMG A VIDEO ABOUT CHIMPS LOLOLOLOL OH LOOK ANOTHER CHIMPS LOL CHIMPS YAY.

I think mine are well under control. I do other things and I don't get upset if I can't watch my movie. I also watch other movies. I also don't talk about them. My obsessions are there if I have nothing else to do and because I work and am busy, I don't have time to obsess.

In the past, my obsessions -- I mean, hobbies -- would often get in the way of daily life. I would use my hobbies to escape the real world for a while, which was necessary for me when I had so many social problems. Now that I have outgrown or learned to control most of my symptoms, this isn't a problem anymore.

The one hobby that has gotten me into more trouble than any other (for obvious reasons) is my observation of children interacting with their environment. Since children don't have all of the life experiences we adults do, they have to make do with the limited knowledge and wisdom they do have. How children learn and adapt to their world has always fascinated me for some reason. However, many parents apparently don't take kindly to strange men watching their children without just cause, and I have had several conversations with police officers and other authority figures about my behavior in that regard.

I used to be unable to "read" the parents of children I observe, but through very careful observation and practice, I can nearly always tell when parents are starting to become suspicious of me, and I need to leave. I don't do this activity much anymore, as I have alienated many families, groups, and even entire churches with my strange hobby. When I do engage in this activity, I am much more careful of how I conduct my observations. It is impossible to explain what I am doing in a believable way, so I try to keep confrontations to a minimum. - LJS

@ LongJohnSilver I was reading the messages here, and I don't know what you do for a living but it sounds like your hobby would be perfect if you wanted to become a psychologist for children or something similar.

My special intrests are going to be my carrer. I could never cope in an office enviroment or something. I would just quit my first day. Every momment of my waking life is spent doing something about my special intrests or at least thinking about them. You would have to go through Hell and back to get me to give up my special intrests for even a second. If someone was lucky enough to suceed, I would probably have a nervous breakdown or something. The most dangerous place on earth is between me and my meerkats.

My special interests aren't taboo or unacceptable. But I've learned to control talking about them. Nobody wants to hear someone go on and on about something you couldn't care less about. Sometimes I go too far in the opposite direction, though - I won't talk about my interests (both special and regular interests) at all, because I worry that I'll bore people.

I've learned to tone my special interest down here, over the past 48 hours. I use the avatars. That's good enough, for now.

Right now I am stuggling with my obsessions/hobbies though I find that Video Gaming is an obsession right now. It tends to get in the way of my studying, but luckily once this year is over I will be going to College for Game Developement and Simulation Programming. I also feel like sometimes I will bore people if I talk about it for too long, and trust me I could go on for AGES about video games. I try to set goals for myself and reward myself with my obsession. Though it tends to drive my family crazy I still need that escape from reality every day.