Does someone else have problems with ''be in touch'' ?

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Lindowyn
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26 Nov 2010, 2:44 pm

Ok, there is something I just noticed this morning when an old friend called me:

I never had much friends, first I had none, but later when I went to a private school I had some.
We moved a lot so it was hard to find friends and I always was the freak.
But then I found 4 friends at private school and some other people who I liked and liked me, but we never were that close that I would call them friends.
After I finished school I had contact with them for like a year and then it slowly stopped. This also happen at the school I was after the private school.
From the 10 people I called friends in the last ten years I have only one person with whom I have still contact.

Is this an aspie thing? Or is it just me?
I don't know why I loose contact exactly, it just happens..



Wallourdes
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26 Nov 2010, 3:27 pm

Oh, yes. I am losing contact with my best friend.
Stuff like that happens to everybody, you grow apart from each other, you get occupied with a marriage, etc.

There is a difference in types of friends and how they see you. Big difference between a best friend and a party buddy.


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jamesongerbil
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26 Nov 2010, 3:27 pm

that's perfectly normal. when people grow and time passes, people tend to diverge from one another. i'm glad you are still in contact with that one person!



IdahoRose
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26 Nov 2010, 5:00 pm

I have a lot of trouble keeping in touch with other people because social interaction is so draining to me. That and I often get tired of talking about mundane things.



samsa
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26 Nov 2010, 5:24 pm

I don't. If anything, I'm overly good at keeping in touch.


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Moog
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26 Nov 2010, 6:07 pm

I think I'm a lot better now... I have to make the effort, or I gradually lose everyone.


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ediself
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26 Nov 2010, 6:24 pm

i'm the type of person you can be sure to never hear from again if you say "oh! i was wondering if you were still alive!"to me :P
it stresses me out so much i never dare to call again .



Kon
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26 Nov 2010, 6:30 pm

Maybe I'm weird but I don't like to be too close with people even my few friends. I just need my privacy and only occassionally do I need people. Even my wife. I like her a lot but a lot of times I just prefer to be on my own. I want her close to me but to allow me to do my own thing. It doesn't bother me at all. Hanging out with friends sometimes feels like a chore, preventing me from doing stuff I like. But at the same time I want the comfort and feeling to always have somebody I can call if I need some company. Maybe I'm just selfish? Maybe everybody feels like this?



Kaybee
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26 Nov 2010, 6:33 pm

Wallourdes wrote:
Stuff like that happens to everybody, you grow apart from each other, you get occupied with a marriage, etc.


I have this problem, too, but I don't think my version of it can be described as a problem which happens to everybody--I think it is very Aspie-ish. I largely don't contact people because I am unable to judge what they think/want of me and contact from me. Even if it's someone I've known for a decade, I think I should wait to let them contact me, because maybe I have misread and simply been imposing myself undesired-ly on them all these years.

Occasionally the reason is more a sort of executive dysfunction, though. "I'll call tomorrow," I think to myself. Three weeks later, I realize I have yet to.


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Moog
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26 Nov 2010, 6:38 pm

Kaybee wrote:
Occasionally the reason is more a sort of executive dysfunction, though. "I'll call tomorrow," I think to myself. Three weeks later, I realize I have yet to.


This is the bane of my existence! One of them.


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Wallourdes
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26 Nov 2010, 6:40 pm

Kaybee wrote:
Wallourdes wrote:
Stuff like that happens to everybody, you grow apart from each other, you get occupied with a marriage, etc.


I have this problem, too, but I don't think my version of it can be described as a problem which happens to everybody--I think it is very Aspie-ish. I largely don't contact people because I am unable to judge what they think/want of me and contact from me. Even if it's someone I've known for a decade, I think I should wait to let them contact me, because maybe I have misread and simply been imposing myself undesired-ly on them all these years.

Occasionally the reason is more a sort of executive dysfunction, though. "I'll call tomorrow," I think to myself. Three weeks later, I realize I have yet to.


Oh that! Yes I know what you mean, not knowing the social needs and expectations of others. Plus the common forgetfulness around social stuff.


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Kaybee
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26 Nov 2010, 6:48 pm

Moog wrote:
Kaybee wrote:
Occasionally the reason is more a sort of executive dysfunction, though. "I'll call tomorrow," I think to myself. Three weeks later, I realize I have yet to.


This is the bane of my existence! One of them.


I realized yesterday that it's been more than two months since I last called my friend and, unable to talk at the time, told him I'd call back "soon."


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