I see the shrink today ...

Post Reply New Topic

Well, psychologist or whatever he is.

I'm not exactly anxious. Mostly intensely focused on it.

I am concerned that I will get angry or make him angry. I don't suffer fools lightly. I'm not inclined to capitulate in any way to a typical Dr/patient dynamic. I don't cede much ground to someone that by default adopts a position of assumed authority, with demands of respect, simply by virtue of his position in the relational dynamics.

Respect must be earned.

It should be interesting.

HA HA! I could have written this post before my first visit. I shopped around quite a bit to find one that looked like he had a LOT of education and passion. I did a good job and he and I are dancing okay in our sessions. At one point he did tell me that I intimidated him a little (he said it was in a good way though) LOL!

I like this. That's how it feels some times. If the dance is going well neither steps on the other's feet.

Medium to high disclosure. Most social reactions are medium disclosure, see how the person responds, take it from there. In this case with a counselor, medium to high. And then in medium steps from there.

One thing I'm particular about (or have been burned about), some mental health professionals are "be righters." This individual being right about a diagnosis is equally important to your life going well ? ? It really is remarkable and bizarre to see this in operation. And I have learned to sidestep this pretty well.

And I'd really like to get away from the overwhelming focus being on diagnosis at all. Instead 'Okay, what do you have going on in your life right now that's going well, and how to roll on with these. And, from a position of matter-of-fact confidence, how can we start adding new skills?' And we can do these two things without any formal diagnosis at all!

Yeah. The process is as much about them as it is about the client. This would likely not end well.



In the final analysis, the formal diagnosis is simply that - a formality. There are some reasons for getting it. One is that my small company has been absorbed into a VERY large multinational and my boss is retiring. I suspect that his replacement will be much less tolerant of my oddities and as such I want an official document on file. It might make me a token "Equal Opportunity" employ in the HR universe. There are a few other such technicalities that will benefit for a DX as well. But the big reason to endure this exercise is to reevaluate my coping mechanisms. It would seem that to a significant extent, my strategies have been applied towards the wrong things. Recognizing perceptual and processing differences as a primary influence on outcomes motivates a different approach.

(How's that for pedantic, professorial self expression Gawd, am I a freak or what? )

Please let us know how it goes.

Yes, this does sound like a good time to get a diagnosis. And I think you're going about it in a good way, for . . . no one likes being played. So, if the clinician thinks you're just playing them, say, an animated carnival puppet (?)(!) that's not likely to make for a real good dynamic. So, I like what you're doing, going there and maybe I'll learn something useful. And of course if this doctor doesn't give you the diagnosis, you can always go to another.

(And I think a general practitioner, or these days an internist or a family practitioner, can also make a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. That is, as I like to point out, we are not "stuck" with psychiatrists or psychologists. However, for purposes of workplace nondiscrimination maybe one does need a diagnosis by a specialist, or perhaps not.)

Well I seem to have gotten lucky and found a psychologist that understands the value of listening. He seemed quite content to allow me to indulge in a stream of consciousness brain dump rather than insisting on filling out a bunch of standard assessments.

He also offered at the end of the first session that Asperger's was likely.

So far so good.

Excellent!!

It took me a tiny bit longer. He pegged me as ASD within 5 min but then insisted on asking these open-ended questions and questions RE emotions and stuff. After the 2nd session (where he happened to reference work he did in his dissertation to apply to my case), I downloaded his dissertation, read it, built a matrix from the theory he told me about and applied my thoughts to it. (found a logic error while I was at it, but I spared him that) I put all the information I had learned from that exercise and the subsequent research I had done in a powerpoint presentation which I hand carried into the office. At the start of thesession I told him that he was not to talk as I had an agenda. He looked at the powerpoint presentation I had handed him, agreed with my demands but said, "You know... this is VERY aspergers of you.."

It was during that session where I explained to him how I saw the world and how he needs to talk to me. He shared with me that his "normal" style and personality are polar opposite of my extremely stoic and black/white logical view but that he would try to reach me in a better way. My intention in doing this was also to remove the observational bias I felt he might have since his line of questioning before had me confused and unable to articulate.

Smooth as silk since then as he adjusted perfectly for me and I am able to better communicate.

Congrats on your find too. With all the horror stories I read on here RE shrinks, you'd think that none of them are worthwhile.

This is crazy awesome. Take out the big guns and blow them out of the water.

I spend a lot of effort 'dumbing down' my speech. Sometimes you just have to let it rip.

Now, I sometimes move from a good first interaction to 'insta-friendship.' And I try to consciously remind myself to take it in a series of medium steps.

And you still have yet to get to the stage where he lays a bunch of theory on you (and why can't this be done in medium steps in a back and forth conversation!). Well, he may do this in a respectful way, it may be only partially respectful. Perhaps a little bit like a person way into religion, a psychologist is often way committed to his or her theoretical orientation.

LOL! He told me yesterday that I abuse my IQ. Honestly, I have no concept of this "dumbing down" my speech thing yet. I think I am gonna be introduced soon. It honestly never occurred to me that downloading his dissertation and dissecting it might be considered rude somehow or be intimidating to a PsyD. You'd think the degree would come with some confidence... Besides it's a practical thing. The guy costs a ton of money and I don't want to waste time (mine or his). It seemed the most efficient way and it DID get his attention. Our sessions have been significantly different since that one. He is highly aware of what I am about compared to before that...

This is where it gets interesting. He can lay all the theory on me that he wishes, but I will have to make sense. I will not simply accept his word. I need to be careful to be respectful of his experience and knowledge, but I also need to be at ease with whatever conclusions are drawn.