Do you often find yourself arguing about events?

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I'm not sure if this is an Aspie trait or just me, but I'm curious if there are others who often find themselves arguing with others over how an event took place? Quite often, I will find myself at odds with someone because they are angry with me because I didn't do this, or I did that and I shouldn't have. When I bring up a conversation we had, I can remember in detail what occurred, and recite the conversation, even picturing the event most times, and yet they get angry with me and tell me I am the one who is wrong. They tell me it never happened, or not the way I remember it, and try to make me feel bad, when I know what I said or did.

edited to add examples...
A former friend used to always tell me I was fabricating what I remembered, and that his memory of the event was correct. My boss, gets angry at me because she says I didn't tell her about something or do something she asked me to. When I tell her I spoke with her about it, she says, "No you did not. We NEVER talked about that." I can tell her when, where, and what was said, and she yells at me saying I did not have that conversation with her, and sometimes that she doesn't even remember that situation at all...

Last edited by quesonrias on 07 Jan 2011, 2:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yep. Probably because us Aspies tend to have better memories.

This happens to me way too often. I sometimes start to feel like I'm being gaslighted.

I know I don't misremember my conversations that badly, since in similar instances in chat and e-mail the archived information backs me up, but history mutates in real life with face to face communication and somehow I'm the one who is always mistaken.

I feel the same way. I know that I don't fabricate parts of my life, and that I am very well grounded in reality (even though sometimes I think it would be nice to have a little more fantasy...lol) Because communication with my boss has become so difficult, I have started writing everything down and sending it through email, just so I will have a written back up when the world turns upside down on me...

Your post describes half my life. I can remember arguing with my parents when we were six about a motel we stayed at. They insisted we never stayed at a motel like that. I even found a postcard with a picture of the motel, in my collection, to prove I was right. I guess if you're an NT, that's a bad thing...

Yeah. You get the idea. When I was in junior high, I had a dispute with another kid. The teacher made us write down what happened. Not being stupid, I figured he was going to ask us again later - and I have a very good memory to begin with. So I did my best to memorise what I was writing. Unfortunately, he'd read some psychological crap that if your account was too similar that meant you were lying. They never even stopped to think someone might, A: have an excellent memory, and, B: smell a trap, just not know enough about the latest theory to avoid it...

It is eerie but oddly thrilling to have found an entire site full of people who are enough like me to understand me. This isn't the wrong planet at all - for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm on the right planet.

I do this also.

It upsets me when people accuse me of lying, even though I can recall exactly what happened.

It can be quite frustrating, but also quite cool.

Yup

That's how I see it.

This seems to be a logical conclusion.

I concur

5-0 in favor. Case closed

I know exactly where you're coming from. This isn't necessarily something that happens just to us though, I think the real problem is narcissism. Most narcissists will actively and unconsciously warp their version of events to place themselves in every important position in a given event and if you upset this balance they get very defensive

All the time!! !! It is because my memory is so good that the second that someone says that something happened or was said that simply didn't I can't help but point it out. I've been told that I come across as cold and factual in arguments because I'm all about the absolute facts of what actually happened.

If you're arguing about what happened, what else is there but the facts?

I mean, what do people expect?

"I told you I didn't have ten dollars to loan you."

"Yes, but I wanted that ten dollars, and it upset me that you didn't have it, so you should have had it!"

"But I didn't have it!"

"Yes, but you should have, so you really must have had it. I was expecting you to have it. I think you told me you did have it."

All the time!! !! It is because my memory is so good that the second that someone says that something happened or was said that simply didn't I can't help but point it out. I've been told that I come across as cold and factual in arguments because I'm all about the absolute facts of what actually happened.