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cvam
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08 Jan 2011, 9:56 am

I pretended that I had hurt myself and put a bandaid on. I told my kid about it and he never asked if it hurt. He asked how I got hurt, what I was doing when I got hurt, what the "owwie" looked like etc. I asked him how my getting hurt made him feel and he said "sad". Does his response sound like a boy with AS or does it sound like a NT boy , and boys/men do compare "owwies" and display them with pride.



happymusic
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08 Jan 2011, 10:05 am

It's hard to really answer your question, especially considering that at that age kids don't have fully developed brains, NT or AS. There are so many other things to take into consideration before determining whether that's an AS or NT answer. Personally it wouldn't occur to me to ask if it hurt because that's what "owwie" means. It's part of it. Also, hurt is something I experience, not necessarily something I attributed to others, especially as a child.

Asking if it hurts, IMO is a conditioned response that an NT or AS 5yo may not have been conditioned to ask yet. Also, saying it made him feel sad could be true, or just conditioned as well. Personally, I'd feel nothing though as an adult I know people expect me to.



tasbro
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08 Jan 2011, 10:09 am

I agree with happymusic. At 5 years old it's very hard to determine whether or not his response has anything to do with AS. I was even thinking the same thing about his "sad" response. It could very well be a conditioned response. I'm not sure that 5 year olds in general can show empathy the same way that older children or adults do.



jat
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08 Jan 2011, 11:13 am

It would be bizarre for a 5 year old to have an "empathetic" response to a supposed injury that had occurred in the past, had been bandaged and attended to, and did not occur in the child's presence. Why would a 5 year old respond with any emotional reaction to a band-aid? Would you really want the child to be upset every time he saw a band-aid on someone he cares about? Kids have band-aids all the time, and are basically told "ok, all better." It sounds like he gave you a lot of attention over this fake injury.

If you want to know how he responds to someone getting hurt, wait until someone actually gets hurt in his presence, and see how he responds. Reality is a lot more of a gauge than what you did. Also, most people learn how to respond by seeing how other people respond. Part of that is experiencing how people respond to him when he gets hurt. Everyone responds differently, and everyone appreciates different responses from people. Observing what happens naturally will be much more revealing than setting up false situations.



DemonAbyss10
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08 Jan 2011, 1:38 pm

heh, sorta reminds me of a story that my parents told me about. I apparently used to get hurt and refuse bandages just because "scabs and scars and stuff looked cool". Also at the age of 5 I already supposedly had reading and language skills on par with a 10-12 year old.


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09 Jan 2011, 1:28 am

If someone told me they hurt themselves when I was five I'd stare at them blankly then either look at the floor or wall. Possibly I'd chew on my fingers.


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