What should I expect?

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Ok, it's a long and confusing story but I'll try and articulate it so it makes sence, note *try*.

Last night I tried to hand myself but failed 'cause it snapped (used a scarf).
I confided in a friend, who rang the staff at the place I'm staying and they cornered me and forced a confession out of me and got in touch with a mental health clinic who are going to asess me today.

But the thing is, I don't know what to expect, I mean, I'm so so so certain I have Aspergers, but some of the other behaviour and habits I'm displaying are more like Bi-Polar, Anxiety and Depression, a couple even co-incide with Schitzophrenia and Multiple personality disorder!!

For instance rapid mood swings are something more common in Bi-Polar and Manic depression and the personality switching and anger outbursts are more common for Schitzophrenia and MPD.
I'm sure Anxiety is a certt aswell, I can't even go outside for too long without feeling like I'm going to die, I went to sonnys (a small shop 5 minutes from where I live) to get a can of cream soda and I was sweating, pale, jelly-legged and I got to my room and burst out in tears hiding under my quilt for half an hour!!

I'm genuinely scared of whats happening to me.

Help?

- There will definitely be an interview to really get inside your head.
- They're probably going to test you.
- They might either put you on a new medication or adjust the ones that you're already on.
- You won't be allowed to have anything that might trigger you, any sharp objects (i.e. scissors, razors, knives), or anything that you could probably use to hang yourself with. When I was in the hospital for depression, they took away my pencil sharpener since it was a manual sharpener with a blade.

Stay strong. :)

I just took 2 10MG Valium to try and stave off any bad thoughts and it seems to work for me.....

I don't want them to probe into my past, I'd rather die than have my past brought to light for the world to see, y'know?

I just want to move to Manchester where my love is and I know with her nearby I'd be fine

It is totally possible to have Asperger's and some other mental condition at the same time. In fact it is not unusual that people on the spectrum develop a depression at some point, have ADHD or show symptoms of polar disorder. So your perceiving symptoms of other mental disorders in yourself does in no way rule out Aspergers.

That said, I can imagine that being assessed for mental disorders is quite frightening and that the results can be quite embarassing. I'm the quiet type myself and I don't talk about my emotional state or my depressions often towards others. In fact, before I joined WP, I hardly ever talked about them. I think many people on the spectrum are like that, that they prefer to deal with their internal difficulties on their own.

But on the other hand, getting a diagnosis (whichever it will eventually be in your case) also means that people will have a better idea of how to help you. They will be able to help you pick suitable forms of therapy and to support you in a more helpful way in general. A diagnosis might open the door to certain forms of help that would be inaccessable to you without a diagnosis. The very least a diagnosis can do for you (even if you refuse to accept any actual help from people) is to give you a better idea of how you are different from most other people and where you can find information about yourself and that difference. For me, it was extremely helpful to find out about Asperger's and I think it can be some relief for you to finally be able to sort through all your symptoms and to know what they mean. At the very least you will be able to shorten the list of things that you might have.

I'm very sorry to hear that things are that tough for you at the moment and I hope that being assessed will not be too stressful for you, but this may also be a chance to initiate some steps that will in the end allow you to understand yourself better and to make more of your personality.