is going to church helpful with isolation

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Sam2001
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15 Jan 2011, 3:53 pm

Can anyone give me some advice I am becoming increasing isolated and lonely and need opportunities to meet people and make friends. I was wondering what others think about joining a church. It would give me access to arrange of people. Has anybody got experience of this? what would be the best church to go to?



DandelionFireworks
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15 Jan 2011, 3:57 pm

Try all the churches in your area one by one.


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15 Jan 2011, 3:58 pm

You should visit some churches in your area. You can go to several and see which one you like the most. It's a good way to get out of the house and meet people. Try to find one that emphasizes fellowship and sponsors activities for people in your age range.
If you don't like one, just go to another. Keep going until you find the right one.



richardbenson
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15 Jan 2011, 4:04 pm

dude. dont go to church to look fo friends, use social media online. since aspergers isnt a dirty word anymore start a Facebook page (in your area) for meet-ups

Churches are going to nothing but brainwash you.


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15 Jan 2011, 4:09 pm

I don't know which churches are available where you are from, but from my own experiences, I'd say that mass itself offers does not offer much interaction as everyone is focussed on the priest and his sermon (which I don't want to portray as a bad thing, by the way). But after mass, people often take some time to break up the gathering, say their good-byes to each other, in some places it's even usual to talk for a while with others about the mass or with the priest about things that one is troubled by at the moment.

There is other gatherings organized by the various churches that may be more like what you are looking for. In many places there is community gatherings where some sub-faction of the community comes together and interacts. For example, elderly people might be invited to regular church coffee meetings or a womens' circle may come together to make things which can be sold at some charity event organized by the church. In many church communities there is information available on which activities they offer, e.g. on their website or in front of their main gathering location. Sometimes people are expected to participate in mass regularly to be accepted into these activities, but in other communities everyone is welcome, though a minor donation to make up for costs or for charity may be welcome.

Instead of joining a church, you could also try to find some other charity organisation that offers regular meetings if you don't feel like attending mass. In many cases the people engaged in charity work are quite open-minded and tolerant and they welcome anybody who's willing to help with their cause. Many meetings that are intended as results-oriented also offer the opportunity for social interaction or at the very least they are slow to break up when they are oficially ended, people instead taking their time and talking about their private life for a bit before they go home. Keeping your eyes open for charity bazaars or other similar events taking place where you live can help you to find one of those groups, as can local newspapers or a quick google search.

Please note that I'm not trying to talk anybody out of attending church, I'm just trying to pint out some additional options that might help the OP find a group they feel comfortable with.


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15 Jan 2011, 7:03 pm

There's no one answer. Some churches are very welcoming; some churches, you can go to for years and remain a face in the crowd. I've attended both kinds. It depends on the people in the church and it depends on you, how far you are willing to step out to be noticed. But I would hesitate if socialization is your first motive in attending church - what if it takes a year or more (as was the case with my current parish) to form any relationships?



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15 Jan 2011, 7:20 pm

FluffyDog, what are you on about mass for? Not all Churches have it... :wink:

Well, I go to church, and oftentimes it's the only time I see my closest friends. One Aspie I know only gets out and meets other people because he comes to church, and on friday, youth group here.



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15 Jan 2011, 7:26 pm

If you were raised in a particular faith, and can find a church where your beliefs fit in, it should be a good place to make trustworthy friends.


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15 Jan 2011, 7:51 pm

I have always found church people to be fake and one dimensional they are not the type of people I would assiosiate with.


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15 Jan 2011, 7:57 pm

it's hard to find a church even if you agree with their beliefs, because there is the element of "phony" in many churchs. so I would say...if you can find one that doesn't feel phony, go for it- this church will also not likely care if you agree with their beliefs or not and welcome who ever.


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15 Jan 2011, 8:34 pm

Magneto wrote:
FluffyDog, what are you on about mass for? Not all Churches have it... :wink:


No mass, no gravity... ;)



Last edited by Natty_Boh on 15 Jan 2011, 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bonafan
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15 Jan 2011, 9:22 pm

Hi

I joined a pretty laid back church in which everyone is quite close and learnt most of my social skills there.

It can be quite useful, and people are quite accepting.

Good Luck



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15 Jan 2011, 9:37 pm

That depends if you have the social skills that will allow you to make friends in ANY setting. When I was in high school I devoted several years of going to Christians gatherings, bible studies and all of that only to find I wasn't really making any friends outside of these church functions at all. I barely got to see my high school friends during actual classes.

There's a huge difference between making friends in church and going to church for the sake of social interaction. Decide what's more important to you and make your decisions from there.