Is it too soon to say I have Asperger's syndrome? *LONG*

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I've explained my symptoms here(<--click "here" for a link to my symptoms) in the past, but one thing that is really making me stress is trying to figure out if there is a possibility that my current environment is causing some of my problems.

Firstly, my parents divorced when I was eleven. It was pretty ugly, and they still constantly go to court to battle child support issues. I now live with my mother and siblings, four of us crammed into a two-bedroom apartment. My mom can barely afford to pay the rent, and doesn't have what you'd call a stable job. Our electricity has been shut off three times since we've lived here.

My mother was diagnosed schizoaffective, which means she is both schizophrenic and bipolar. She's been feeding us her circular logic and strange thoughts for as long as I can remember, but luckily we (her children) are now able to see past it. When I was little she had me convinced my father could read my thoughts.

She is a good mother who cares for us by keeping a roof over out head, pays the bills, etc, but is child-like in many ways. When she argues, it's not a "normal" argument. She is defensive, impulsive, jumps down peoples throats, and still has problems with circular logic. I feel like I'm stepping on egg-shells when I talk to her. One comment taken the wrong way will lead to a full-blown argument that is just a tornado of name-calling, yelling, blaming, and making others feel guilty (something my mom is really good at).

On the other hand, my dad was never diagnosed with anything, but *suspects* he has ADHD. I say suspects because personally I feel it may be aspergers. The clues are his engineering degree and technical prowess, as well as the fact that he now lives alone and doesn't seem to be looking for a woman. He is EXTREMELY routine-oriented and follows the same schedule every single day of the week.
Monday: work, shopping, bookstore.
Tuesday: work, bookstore
Wednesday: work, home, relax
etc.
every single week.
Also, he's been known to be socially inappropriate at times.

I won't go into my brother's problems or my sisters, but know that there is a lot of yelling, cursing, name-calling, fragile egos, and low self-esteem in this household. I feel like I'm the only one that even TRIES to hold it together, but I often find myself stooping down to my families level.

I get extremely frustrated very easily, low self-esteem, social anxiety, etc. AlsoI have never opened up to a single person except my consular and psychiatrist. About anything. Nobody, not even my old friends, know any details of my home life. On some level I want them to because I feel like it would bring us closer. But in another way I'm too ashamed, and don't want them pitying me anyhow.

I guess my point is, can any of this, my home life, play a role in how I act outside of the home? Or is the way I act strictly some biological cause like Asperger's syndrome or ADHD? I've met people that go through problems, but none of them have the social anxiety, inattention, trouble focusing, etc. that I have.

Also I have no idea if "normal" families act like this because I don't know any better. I quote normal because I know that every family has problems on some level.

I wrote a reply to this hours ago, when you first posted, but the site went down and I lost it. I couldn't really bear retyping it on a phone, so I'm sorry for not posting earlier.

Stress will affect all areas of your life, and make your symptoms more pronounced. Devoting mental energy to stress leaves you less able to deal with social interaction, which, for example, can mean you come across as blunt or harsh when you don't intend to (if you forget your facial expression or tone of voice). I do this every time I get tired. It can also make your stims worse. It absolutely affects your behaviour.

Family can be tough at the best of times, but with schizophrenia/bipolar in the mix, along with whatever other issues are included, it can be quite awful. I know I have problems with my own mother being deeply passive-agressive, and the worst we have between us is that I suspect both of us have aspergers.

I think you must be a very good person, given you give your mother credit for the things she does well, along with the things she does badly. I hope you get through this soon and into happier times.

I think it would relieve the burden for you a bit if you do share that fact with people from time to time. You dont have to give all the details to everyone, just maybe say casually your familiy is so dysfunctiional you dont know how you survive.
The fact is many people come from dysfunctional families, a fact you will discover once you do open up a bit.

In my experience people with tough backgrounds are often more understanding and empathetic about others' family situations . Anyway, you sound to me like a person with self awareness.
I also notice how you see the positive in your mother, which is great.

And remember, at the end of your life, this is going to be great fodder for your memoirs.

I meant to say that, thank you. You should find one or two people you're willing to open up to on a regular basis - if not offline then find someone online who will let you talk when you need it. That will help you immensely.

Thanks for the kind words guys, it really makes me feel like I'm heading in the right direction and trying my best to overcome these problems. I've made the decision to live in a dorm when I go away to college (a big decision for someone so socially awkward), but I feel like getting away from the home environment would improve my situation and hopefully as a result improve my mental health. If anyone has any experience with that, I'd certainly like to hear it

My mum sounds like your mum, especially the immaturity and arguing part. Parents divorced when I was 5 too. My dad also may have been on the autism spectrum.
I think I remember your symptoms being closer to ADHD.
Anyway, all the best for finding an answer.

Do you have any difficulty with socialization with others? Do you have very narrow interests? Do you have unusual stims? Because those things are more likely to determine whether you have AS as opposed to your family health history.

Yeah, i'm SO inattentive and tend to go into my own little world and sometimes completely miss what others are saying. I just start to daydream. I don't have narrow interests-in fact, I'm the complete opposite. I'm interested in everything to a degree and don't really obsesse over a certain thing. The stims I have are: nail biting, hair twisting. Also when I'm alone I'll unconsciously move my limbs/joints into a pointed or mounted posture, in order to keep myself from zoning out while, lets say reading an article on the internet.
I figured due to genetics family history would be a large issue, but like I said my dad shows AS signs and my brother was diagnosed with ADHD so it's a possibility that it's just ADHD. But how hard I fail at socializing and emotionally connecting with people just makes me think otherwise.
Not to ramble on but I did take Concerta for awhile and felt it helped me to stop zoning out.(still was socially awkward though). I'm taking it a second time around and it is doing absolutely nothing so I'm switching to Strattera, something that seems to be beneficial for both ADHD and AS.
Another thing I noticed is how inattentive I get when I drink! It's like I can't follow things logically like others do and I can't mentally stay absorbed in conversation.

Sorry for the rambling, I did have a few drinks earlier and I'm still feeling the effects. Hope that all made sense.