Surface responses

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Not sure how to describe this, but I've noticed that when I am involved in something and someone speaks to me I will respond without actually disengaging my attention. Sort of like there is surface layer of awareness that intercepts things. The problem is, I won't always remember what was said or what my response was. I just know somebody said something and I said something back. It's almost like it's a way to get rid of the distraction rather than any real attempt to communicate.

I'll do something similar when I have to switch tasks at work. The primary task stays big in my mind and I'll dole out slices of partial attention to deal with interruptions. But the partial attention is where I make a lot of mistakes and miss important details. But if I completely disengage from the primary task and focus on the interruption I may never get back to it. Almost like once it's out of my awareness, it's gone until something else triggers it again. Like the boss asking about it.

Does this make any sense at all?

That makes a lot of sense to me. It's not quite the way that you describe it, but yes, I know what you mean.

I tend to get very focused on things, and when I have to turn my mind to other things, it's hard for me to give the new thing my full attention. It usually takes me about five minutes to switch focus, and during that time my previous focus lingers in the back of my mind, making it very difficult for me to focus on the new task.

Also, I do tend to get preoccupied with a special interest. While that special interest is active, it's really difficult for me to turn my mind to something else.

I really hate that I am this way. The only good thing is that if I can get myself focused on something useful, I can be extremely productive, which counteracts the lack of productivity at other times.

Yes, it makes perfect sense. Attention is one of my pet interests. If you don't properly engage attention when you do or say or think or listen to something, then it won't 'ping' your brain effectively, it flows right through and makes no impression.

I don't know if you ever have this thing where you are absorbed in thinking about something in your head while leaving the house, and in doing so, you were only giving very partial attention to the locking of the door, and therefore, you cannot be sure you've done it, so you go back to check. I do that often, unless I remember to be mindful with my attention.

The answer is in training attention, if you aren't happy with how you are currently operating it, or it is operating you. Part of that is about learning how to switch when necessary, and also in discerning what is most relevant to focus on at any given moment.

Dare I invoke the 'M' word againe? Meditation. There. I said it.

Last edited by Moog on 09 Feb 2011, 5:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Autopilot.

Oh yeah. And, I don't always forget what I said, I just realize later that what I said wasn't at all what I would've said if I'd been able to think about it (my ability with speech (in both directions) is a bit slow). At one point it got to where I could have entire 'conversations' that way (in quotes because it never felt like it was me doing the talking).

I do this. I'll zone out on anything or nothing at all, and continue going on autopilot. I have had conversations where I agreed I understood a list of directions, or appeared to be listening to someone else while I was so zoned out that I am not sure what I was experiencing could even be described as conscious thought, and my memories of sensory impressions were blurs of color and sound.

Sometimes I continue functioning - I can walk to a store while not even paying attention, provided it's a familiar route. Sometimes I don't - I've zoned out while waiting for buses and thus missed my bus. Or just as much fun - zoned out while on a bus and missing my stop, or even several stops.

I don't really remember many daydreams or thoughts from these experiences, it's like I'm there but not there at the same time. It might start with daydreaming but it feels more like hypnagogic dreams (very difficult - if not impossible - to describe in language).

This also happens when I'm doing something else - I recall my grandmother would try to talk to me while I read books, and apparently (according to her) I actually responded to her, so I assume that was the case. I wasn't precisely filtering out what she said, just like a different level of consciousness was picking that up and responding while I was focused on something else.

I have to be really focused on something for that to happen, however. Otherwise it's all just distraction and my concentration is broken.

I think this may have something to do with hemispheric connectivity issues in the brain that are associated with Autism. I've experienced everything that has been posted regarding Auto Pilot. I think awareness and hemispheric connectivity interesting. I haven't found anyone else that has experienced this, but sometimes while walking somewhere in autopilot mode I would find myself wondering where my pen or keys were, completely unaware that I was holding them in my left hand. I never had the issue with my right hand.

For me playing the piano and intense exercise was therapeutic in awakening the area that was asleep. I tried Yoga and meditation for awhile and found that also helped.

A young man worked for me, in a program for people with disabilities, that had fairly severe Autism. He would often talk to his left hand as if he was instructing it on what to do or what not to do. I had not seen this behavior before, but it was obvious that there was some kind of issue with body control and communication.

My wife would often ask me to rub her back, I found myself without the motivation to do it for any length of time with my left hand, but could do it easily with my right hand. I had no problem with the left hand and motivation if I was talking at the same time. Never thought about any possible reasons for it until now.

One thin I do that is related but slightly different perhaps... unless I put effort into it, I cannot understand language or even the idea of language meaning anything. And I'll be sitting there listening to complete gobbledygook as far as I'm concerned. Even if I'm conscious of it, it still makes no sense. But I'll be able to give adequate-sounding answers that also mean nothing to me. Because I grew up with comprehension lagging so far behind expression that I was talking in seemingly plausible sentences before I understood a single woes of language. And if I am not careful I slip back into that pattern again. It happens especially when I'm tired or overloaded and I simply revert to my old style of relating. Despite about ten years of serious effort to stop this and to communicate my real thoughts, and about three years of even more intensive effort due to realizing I was paying a high price for that kind of pseudo-communication, it's still incredibly easy to slip up.

One thing many people don't realize is how little I rely on language throughout the day. I have staff helping me out all day. They often speak to me. But what I'm responding to much of the time is their actions. They'll hand me a medication and say "Here's your ondansetron" but I won't register the words at all, they're just sounds and my response is based on their hand extending towards mine with the pill in it. I don't think it occurs to them that I have no clue what they're saying, unless they say something new that requires a response to their words and not their physical actions. I do so much better with the actions.

I have moments where language may as well not exist - when I zone out like that there's no language, and other times when it's not quite so intense (like I can see things happening right in front of me but I have no connection of objects, people, animals, locations, actions to words), but these don't last for very long. I also totally miss spoken words while listening to people's tone of voice and occasionally hear words as complete gibberish while focusing on something else (usually visual input). My impression is that I usually have language, but I'm usually on the internet or reading books. I've also wondered if these are actually absence seizures, although I somehow doubt people continue talking/walking familiar routes/etc while having one of those. I also wonder if some of them are a side effect of ADHD (like one thing ADHDers experience is reading a book and zoning out while continuing to scan the words and turn the pages, but retaining nothing). I also think when this happens that my sense of time is even less reliable than it typically is, so my impression is that they only last for a few minutes but they could last much longer. One I know for sure lasted 20 minutes did not feel like 20 minutes at all.

It could be any number of things. I don't know.

My comprehension lagged behind my expression. I know I often used language (sometimes phrases from books, but often individual words) I didn't understand in contexts that seemed to make sense (this got me in trouble on occasion). I started talking fairly early, even relative to my early reading - but my reading outstripped my comprehension very quickly and I know my vocabulary usage encompassed all the words I had read, even though I only knew what some of them meant. I am sure I understood what I heard most of the time.

I do this, but am not ADHD according to the psychologist that did some pretty rigorous testing on me a few years ago. What was interesting about those tests is that the tests themselves were my focal point of thought for the duration so I was ironically rather extra focused while taking them. Sort of like a temporary special interest. It made me not fully trust any testing done in a purely clinical setting. The real world is far more complex than anything that can be replicated in a quiet room.

i wish i had the OP's multitasking ability.

Definitely do that. Some tasks I can multitask my attention, but others - I might say anything.

Yeah, for those reasons, there's no way that test would be an accurate reflection of your everyday attentional 'behaviour'.

You'd need to be tested in a situation where you've got a) more than one stimulus fighting for attention b) stimulus that doesn't interest you c) no special efforts made to focus

LOL. Actually, it's not very effective. That's sort of why I started the thread. For me to be effective at something I need to be able to switch tasks more completely. Giving minimal attention to something so I can stay on task leads to mistakes. Mistakes lead to the boss getting mad.

in the army and in civil service, some bosses tried to get me to do more than one task at once, and when i totally screwed up at both tasks they would curse at me and assign somebody else or do it themselves, and say things like "if you want something done right..."

Yes, and my inability to multitask makes it impossible to give any more attention at the moment without breaking necessary concentration ... but then even just that little bit of attention I *can* sometimes give something else can at least sometimes be just enough to put that something else off until a bit later.