Just bought Aspergirls. :-)

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I'm going to use it as reference for my paper on AS females.

I still need to buy a copy (no money!) but it's on my wish list.

Nice. I've always wanted to read it...

I've read it. It's good.

I also want a copy.

I think I'll buy a copy right now...

awesome! I'm going to buy a copy now! and I just saw another one "asperger's in pink"

i bought it a couple of months ago, read it straight through in about 5 hours, and then immediately went on amazon and ordered another copy for my parents

LOL! Cool. Ya I read "Pretending to be Normal" in a day it was an awfully short book but a good read regardless.

Very good book, couldn't put it down because there was so much I could relate to in it! Her 'Asperger's on the job' is a good read too.

Something about the title is putting me off.

I'm getting weird, uncomfortable vibes from looking at the photo of the girl on the front cover.

I really don't understand what the word "empower" really means.
Does it mean plugging people into the wall and charging them up like mobile cell phones?

Who took the power away to start with?

That's what's bothering me. The attitude.

I think it's sad that people, especially women need to read books to feel "empowered".
Are there any books out there about "empowering men"?
Not many I'd imagine.


I still don't know what the word "suffer" means in the Telegraph article or if I really "suffer" from anything.

I'm sure that the book contains useful information for people.
I also think it's good that a book like this written by a woman has come on the market.


But what do phrases like "empowering women" really mean?
Giving them money? Giving them advice? How does this change other people's attitudes?
People wouldn't need to be empowered if they were just accepted anyway.


People wouldn't need to write books on empowerment if the culture was different.

I have read a lot of books on AS and I'm just not understanding the attitude.
If I was writing a book on this subject, I wouldn't write it in that style.
It wouldn't be true to me. I'd have a very different take on the issues and I'd question some of the points raised.

These attitudes and styles of these books seem alien to me.
Perhaps even patronising when they don't mean to be.

Or maybe I've got it wrong?

When I was young I was told: "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, suck it up."
Or "They want to diagnose you with things so that the school can get more money."


I was told basically that I had enough power already and didn't need any help.
Seeking help was seen as a weakness, not something that "empowered" people.

I hope that this makes sense.

AmberEyes,

I think in this book, the author means "empower" in the sense of giving girls and women with AS knowledge about the way that their brains process certain things/situations, and making suggestions as to how they might approach school, work, daily activities, etc...in such a way that would enable them to get more out of it and be more comfortable.

I kind of get what you are saying about the attitude or tone of the book. Like the way the term "Aspergirls" makes it sound like we will all be superheroes or something if we learn how to embrace our Aspieness. The style definitely isn't for everyone. It didn't particularly bother me, and I found the actual information in the book to be useful, so I like it.

I still don't understand though.

I find the term Aspergirls patronising.
It's sad that people, especially women, are being forced to act like superheroines just to justify their existences. There is also a "supergirl syndrome" which is making many girls depressed. This is why I dislike the word empower: it puts too much pressure on women to be good at everything.

I have known how my mind processes information since I was very little.
I didn't need a book to tell me that I did that: I knew already. I tried to explain what I saw to other people: they didn't believe me or thought that I was "silly".

I blithely assumed that everyone else had a keen eye for detail and I was shocked to find out that they didn't. I was disappointed that other people thought I was too intense. I thought that I was just being observant. I was sad that other people seemed oblivious to the things that I could see.

The issue here seems to be, how can I communicate how I perceive the world to other people? How do I do that without pathologising myself?

It's not something that I usually discuss casually with people without them becoming afraid.

I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me.

Also a lot of these books don't seem detailed enough.
I find the phrase "with Asperger's Syndrome" is very vague and unhelpful.
It doesn't explain what the actual sensory issues are for the person concerned.
It seems to be a "waste bucket" of lots of developmental and sensory conditions, some of which may be quite different from each other and have different causes.

This is why I hate the question: "What is Asperger's Syndrome?"
Because it gives a layperson a misleading impression that there's only one condition.
I believe that there might be many conditions being lumped together under the same umbrella.

Perhaps the question should be: "Who are they?" "Who are we?" "What is occurring?"

Maybe conditions in females that don't present like classical male Aspergers shouldn't really be called Asperger's at all, but something else?

I am very very sorry, but after years of being fed conflicting information, I'm thoroughly confused.

I also believe that culture and upbringing can effect how people turn out.
If the culture met and was empathetic to people's needs, there wouldn't be a need for books on "empowerment".

I find it sad that people are having to be "empowered" in this way, because it shows how intolerant the prevailing culture is. This is why I don't understand the word "empowerment". It doesn't help me. If I need to be "empowered" then it makes me seem "weak" and "vulnerable" in the eyes of others, especially men. AS women are often described as vulnerable, yet I've never felt this way: I've felt that some other people were ruthless, rumour spreading and manipulative.

It's sad that people have to develop coping skills for an overstimulating, machiavellian world.

Ok, I think I see what you are saying.

I agree, it is unfortunate.

I believe that many of the books out there are necessarily very general, and provide basic advice for how we might "learn to cope" BECAUSE there is still so much that is misunderstood about our symptoms, and how greatly they vary from one individual to the next.
It is very difficult to communicate our way of thinking, and to get others to understand, because society really does not understand. If the books out there seem a little vague to us, imagine how vague and confusing they must be for the majority of people in society who cannot even compare what they are reading to their own internal experiences.

Until society recognizes the types of problems we have, and until we have more information and are better able to educate society about how they can be more tolerant, it is necessary for us to learn some coping skills. Do not look at it as "empowering" or making yourself better to fit in with everyone else. Look at it as learning to live in a "foreign" culture and doing the best you can for yourself, for your own benefit.

I hope this helps a little, I hope I have correctly understood what you are saying.

I'm afraid that this hasn't helped much at all.

The world is full of "foreigners".
Learning another culture?
Which culture? Where?

Coping skills aren't good enough. It shows that other people really don't care.
I have tried my best. All the barely adequate coping skills in the world won't change other people's attitudes or environments.

It seems that mass society is the real pathology.
If I have "symptoms" then they are result of being in mass society.
How come other females that I've known or are relatives show similar "symptoms"?
What's really going on and why is everyone so casual and wishy washy about it?
Symptoms of what exactly? Of people being themselves?

It's just creepy how other people have treated me.
Calling me brilliant and "ret*d", egging me on, putting me down and not helping me to help myself. I would never treat other people in this way. Yet other people seem all too keen on either shoving me up on a pedestal or ramming my face into the mud. They probably enjoy it, giving me fake handshakes and fake certificates pretending that they know and actually care about me.

I don't wish to embrace my "Aspieness".
I want to be me with no vague or socially stigmatising labels attached.
I don't want to strive for goals any more because achievements just make people feel jealous. Most people don't care anyway. People plastering letters and numbers on me haven't helped, just hurt me. Grades are just that: meaningless letters and numbers. They don't actually help in the long run, they make people depressed and competitive. This is why I don't wish to be "empowered": it doesn't help. It won't help my physically disabled relatives get better. I will probably still have to look after them for years to come.

I'm trying to understand your point of view, but it's very difficult.

I think that a lot of brainwashing has been going on and it's disturbing.
I think that a lot of girls are being brainwashed. It's disturbing for me to look at them. It's like they've been programmed from birth to look and act like each other.

I'm sorry, but I really don't understand a lot of women or the attitude of this book.
Perhaps it's best if I try to live my own life and ignore all of this hype which might not apply to me.

The idea of living your own life and trying not to worry about "the hype" is sort of what I was saying, but I'm not very good at putting my thoughts into words. I think this is probably what you should try to do. I do get what you are saying and I understand the points you make, I have felt similarly frustrated in the past, although I am doing better now. Hopefully things get better for you too.