Do random questions catch you off guard?

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

eatingcereal
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 68

11 Feb 2011, 11:37 am

If I'm talking to someone and they ask me a question I get really anxious and feel like I process it slower, so it takes me longer to think of a response. Then I try so hard that I'll over-analyze the question and turn an average joe conversation into something too deep really fast, and I usually come off sounding awkward and insincere.

And if I walk into a room and get a random question I get the deer in headlights feeling and just don't know how to properly respond. Even if it was something simple like "how was your birthday?". I'll say "it was good" and then I can't think of anything to say after, almost like I can't reach back into my brain, grab the memory, and formulate a response. :oops:

Also, sometimes I have to field questions at the end of a presentation about a topic in class. For some reason I get really defensive and can barely focus on what the person is saying when they ask me something about my topic. I almost want to jump down their throats but consciously I know there is no reason for me to do that. Then I just end up bullshitting a half thought up response and not answering the persons question to the best of my ability.



wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

11 Feb 2011, 11:52 am

I have a standard method. When someone throws out a random question, I just say the first random thing that comes to mind that is some way related to the question. You have to say it in a dry sarcastic manner so they don't take you seriously. It usually deflects the conversation away from me and it reinforces my quirky weirdo persona with the added benefit that I don't have to process any real conversation.

Sort of like at swatting an annoying bee.


_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.


hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

11 Feb 2011, 3:25 pm

I have this all the time! It's like I have to catch the question that was thrown at me unawares, and then quickly categorize it and formulate an answer. Most of the time I just freeze. Or my answer doesn't make sense. It's like there is a delay between receiving the question and processing it; one that is long enough that the average person has time to wonder what is wrong with me. This may be because my average response is usually to brutally honest to be acceptable in casual conversation. :?


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

11 Feb 2011, 4:01 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I have this all the time! It's like I have to catch the question that was thrown at me unawares, and then quickly categorize it and formulate an answer. Most of the time I just freeze. Or my answer doesn't make sense. It's like there is a delay between receiving the question and processing it; one that is long enough that the average person has time to wonder what is wrong with me. This may be because my average response is usually to brutally honest to be acceptable in casual conversation. :?


I fill the awkward pause with an ambiguous expression (those come naturally) and a long drawn out standard meaningless word like "w...e...l...l...l...l...l..."


_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.


Yensid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,253
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

11 Feb 2011, 4:34 pm

That happens to me all the time, and it's pretty much what you describe. It just takes me a long time to recall information about a topic. My mind just works that way. I simply can't just pull up the information very quickly. I hate this, because I have a very good memory. It's just really, really slow.

It is not a problem at work. Generally, I can can come up with enough of an answer and then I say that I have to think about it for a while and I'll get back to them later. I hate it when some people are so impatient that they need an answer right away, because then I have to rely on stalling tactics: "That's a good question. A very good question. Yes, indeed, an outstanding question."

It's much more difficult in social situations. It's a lot harder to postpone answering, and people don't understand why it takes you so long to respond. Also, in social situations, the questions tend to be more open ended, which makes it harder to bring up the necessary information. There is just so much that could be relevant.


_________________
"Like lonely ghosts, at a roadside cross, we stay, because we don't know where else to go." -- Orenda Fink


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,317
Location: Pacific Northwest

11 Feb 2011, 4:37 pm

Oh yes. I even feel lot of the times I am not telling the truth because I don't have all these words in my brain to say everything. I don't do it on purpose. But lot of the times I get cut off because they move onto other things than letting me finish. I think they assume I was done answering.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,245
Location: In my own little country

11 Feb 2011, 5:45 pm

That happens to me a lot, and I deal with it by telling the asker the first thing that pops in my mind.


_________________
The Family Schlager


just-lou
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 252
Location: Sydney, Australia.

11 Feb 2011, 10:57 pm

Questions catch me off guard in the sense that I feel like I have to respond quickly, so I tell the truth. Which annoys me, because they're usually very personal questions (seriously, when did it start being acceptable for people to start asking all these personal questions of others?) and if I'd had time to think, I wouldn't have wanted them to have that information about me. But I didn't have enough time to process and think hang on, that was actually inappropriately nosy of you and you have no right to ask me that.



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

11 Feb 2011, 11:02 pm

Oh yes.
My standard answers are "I don't know" or "Yeah, good."
I hope to come up with something more articulate before my 90th birthday.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I